new and noteworthy tv: 9/9-9/15

sons_of_anarchy_promo

Labor Day is over and fall is in the air, well technically fall starts on the 22nd…

Monday

  • The View/The Talk (ABC/CBS) Season Premieres – The talkers return, and Jenny McCarthy officially joins in.
  • US Open Tennis (CBS, 2pm) – Don’t forget that they moved the men’s to Monday, giving what McEnroe will repeatedly tell you is a much needed break after the semis.
  • The Million Second Quiz (NBC, 8pm) Series Premiere – Seriously, not sure how Ryan Seacrest finds the time to host this latest gameshow?
  • Exploding Sun (Reelz, 8pm) Miniseries Premiere – Julia Ormand and David James Elliott are in a solar storm show.

Tuesday

  • Sons of Anarchy (FX, 10pm) Season Premiere – Can’t wait for the latest drama from Jax and the gang, will they overcome their lack of impulse control?

Wednesday

  • The X Factor (Fox, 8pm) Season Premiere – If I’m tracking this correctly hosts are Simon Cowell and some other people.
  • Restaurant Stakeout/Thieves, Inc (Food, 9/10:30pm) Season/Series Premieres – Restaurants not working and shoplifters stealing.
  • NFL Turning Point (NBCSN, 10pm) Season Premiere – Go football.
  • Too Young To Marry? (Oxy, 10pm) Series Premiere – Parental consent?

Thursday

  • Derek (Net, 12:01am) Series Premiere – Ricky Gervais is taking on a nice guy role, can his simpleton keep you entertained, the latest Netflix new offering thinks so?
  • CBS Fall Preview (CBS, 8:30pm) – What of the offerings looks appealing?
  • Burn Notice (USA, 9pm) Series Finale – I’m excited that this show is coming to its conclusion, it really is time to move on.

Friday

  • Haven (Syfy, 10pm) Season Premiere – Returning to the drama of small town syfy-style problems.
  • Kendra on Top (WE, 10pm) Season Premiere – Couldn’t care less about Kendra’s fitness results.
  • Real Time With Bill Maher (HBO, 10pm) Season Premiere – Wind him up, let him go.

Saturday

  • Cops (Spike, 8pm) Season Premiere – Bad boys.

Sunday

  • Miss America (ABC, 9pm) – Lara Spencer and Chris Harrison host.
  • Foyle’s War (PBS, 9pm) Season Premiere – Three new eps of post-WWII detective drama.
  • The Great Santini Brothers (Hist, 10pm) Series Premiere – Moving company bros.

The procrastinator lists items that may not be on your regular season pass, though notation does not imply recommendation other than those underlined. Times noted are typically PST.

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new and noteworthy tv: 8/26-9/1

cracked

Monday

  • US Open (ESPN2, 10am) – Rounds get going.
  • Diners, Drive-ins, & Dives (Food, 9:30pm) Season Premiere – More food tastings.
  • Teen Mom 3 (MTV, 10pm) Season Premiere – So they’re teens and they’re moms.

Tuesday

  • Storage Wars Texas (A&E, 9pm) Season Premiere – Is everything bigger in Texas?

Wednesday

  • Property Brothers (HGTV, 9pm) Season Premiere – Budget friendly dream home?
  • The Unexplained Files (Sci, 9pm) Series Premiere – Disappeared flight, hunchback creature?
  • Cheer Perfection (TLC, 9:30pm) Season Premiere – Go team go!
  • Fanaddicts! (Reelz, 10pm) Series Premiere – Harry Potter is awesome.
  • Tough Love (VH1, 10pm) Season Premiere – The co-eds try for love.

Thursday

  • Motive (ABC, 8pm) Season Finale – What’s the motive?

Friday

  • Alaskan Steel Men (Disc, 10pm) Series Premiere – Men in Alaska who work with steel?
  • Cracked (Reelz, 10pm) Series Premiere – Original series where a shrink helps out the cops.

Saturday

  • Doctor Who: The Doctors Revisited (BBCA, 8pm) – The eighth Doctor.

Sunday

  • ABC Fall Preview/MDA Show of Strength Telethon (ABC, 7/9pm) – Shows and a telethon.
  • Snapped (Oxy, 9pm) Season Premiere – Killer couples.

The procrastinator lists items that may not be on your regular season pass, though notation does not imply recommendation other than those underlined. Times noted are typically PST.

 

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new and noteworthy tv: 8/19-8/25

usopen

Another week to go and then more tennis…

Monday

  • Basketball Wives (VH1, 8pm) Season Premiere – More reality…
  • Delete (Reelz, 8pm) Miniseries Premiere – Fighting artificial intelligence with artificial intelligence, plus actors
  • Bubba-Q (Food, 10:30pm) Series Premiere – Building custom grills.

Tuesday

  • I guess I could start watching So You Think You Can Dance?

Wednesday

  • Modern Dads (A&E, 10:30pm) Series Premiere – The reality of four stay-at-home dads…

Thursday

  • Ghost Shark (Syfy, 9pm) – It’s no Sharknado but it does follow a reairing of it.

Friday

  • Venus and Serena (Show, 9pm) – A look into the tennis sisters focusing on the injury-plagued 2011 season.

Saturday

  • Too Cute! (AnPl, 8pm) – Top 20 puppies!

Sunday

  • US Open Preview/Arthur Ashe Kids Day (CBS, 10:30/3pm) – A look at the last slam of the year and then watch the pros goof around and listen to teenybopper bands. 
  • Family Dance Off (ABC, 8pm) – Five families compete.
  • Silk (PBS, 9 pm) Series Premiere – A barrister takes on a new case and a new trainee.
  • Video Music Awards (MTV, 9pm) – So seriously where do people see music videos?

The procrastinator lists items that may not be on your regular season pass, though notation does not imply recommendation other than those underlined. Times noted are typically PST.

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new and noteworthy tv: 7/1-7/7

Serena-Wimbledon

Monday

  • Bizarre Foods of America (Trav, 9pm) Season Premiere – Pig head tamales in LA.
  • Siberia (NBC, 10pm) Series Premiere – Sixteen contestants are dropped off but all may not be what it seems.
  • Below Deck (Brav, 10pm) Series Premiere – Following a private yacht and its crew.

Tuesday

  • Being Mary Jane (BET, 10:30pm) Series Premiere – Watching a TV news anchor try to juggle it all, this one is fictional and stars Gabrielle Union. 

Wednesday

  • Kelsey’s Essentials/Donut Showdown (Cook, 5/7pm) Season/Series Premieres – Hot sauce and donuts.
  • BBQ Crawl (Trav, 8pm) Series Premiere – Texas should have some good cookin’.

Thursday

  • Macy’s 4th of July Fireworks Spectacular (NBC, 8pm) – Starbursts blaze. 

Friday

  • Warlocks Rising/Philly Throttle (Disc, 9/10pm) Series Premieres – These warlocks are more motorcycle gang than magical and then some hot rides.
  • King (Reelz, 10pm) Series Premiere – The newest police procedural where Homicide Detective King has some sort of unorthodox approach, worth a look.

Saturday

  • Bizarre ER (Health, 7pm) Season Premiere – Near fatal?
  • Breakfast at/Wimbledon (ESPN, S/S 5/6am; ABC S/S 12pm) – Not sure if the dual coverage of the finals holds true but set your TiVo’s to be on the safe side.

Sunday

  • Volcom Pro (NBC, 1:30pm) – Surfing from Fiji, mm hmm. 

The procrastinator lists items that may not be on your regular season pass, though notation does not imply recommendation other than those underlined. Times noted are typically PST.

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new and noteworthy tv: 6/24-6/30

Under-the-Dome

Monday

  • Wimbledon (ESPN, 4am) – Coverage begins for this fortnight of tennis.
  • Under the Dome (CBS, 10pm) Series Premiere – Who can resist at least a look at this new Stephen King series?
  • POV (PBS, 10pm) Season Premiere – Starting another season with funeral insights. 

Tuesday

  • Rizzoli & Isles/Perception (TNT, 9/10pm) Season Premieres – Fluffy but not necessarily great cable procedurals, though curious to see the level of crazy they bring Will/Eric McCormack back at.
  • Catfish (MTV, 10pm) Season Premiere – Exposing fake online relationships.

Wednesday

  • Big Brother (CBS, 8pm) Season Premiere – Back and longer than ever, tune in if you must. 

Thursday

  • X Games (ESPN2, 5pm) – They’ll be showing the games from Munich, Germany through Tuesday. 

Friday

  • Say Yes to the Dress: Bridesmaids (TLC, 9pm) Season Premiere – Nobody seems to love their bridesmaids dresses. 

Saturday

  • Tour de France (NBCSN, 4:30am) – Stage 1 begins, and I am at this point planning not to watch, trying to winnow down my sports watching. 

Sunday

  • Dexter/Ray Donovan (Show, 9/10pm) Season/Series Premieres – The final season of our favorite serial killer and the first of  a new Liev Scriber as fixer with complicating father Jon Voight. 

The procrastinator lists items that may not be on your regular season pass, though notation does not imply recommendation other than those underlined. Times noted are typically PST.

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new and noteworthy tv: 5/20-5/26

arresteddevelopment5-650x406

Memorial Day weekend seems to be timed perfectly with Arrested Development and the French Open… Far be it from me to do something crazy like travel…

Monday

  • The Goodwin Games (Fox, 8:30pm) Series Premiere – Kids compete for estranged dead father’s dough, a new comedy with some talent that could make it fun game.
  • James May’s Man Lab (BBCA, 10pm) Series Premiere – Relearning some skills.

Tuesday

  • The Bachelor (ABC, 8pm) – The Bachelor’s funniest moments.
  • Bad Girls All Star Battle (Oxy, 9pm) Series Premiere – Keep your friends close.

Wednesday

  • Masterchef (Fox, 8pm) Season Premiere – Home cooks try to get in the game. 

Thursday

  • Save Me (NBC, 8pm) Series Premiere – Anne Heche returns, this time as a reborn gal looking for redemption, part black comedy, part laugher, but rumor has it few laughs, we’ll see.
  • Does Someone Have to Go? (Fox, 9pm) Series Premiere – I want to pick who gets fired at my job.
  • Four Weddings (TLC, 9pm) Season Premiere – More betrothal festivities.
  • Showville (AMC, 9pm) Series Premiere – Hey kids let’s put on a show… Hollywood coaches audition.
  • Rookie Blues (ABC, 10pm) Season Premiere – I don’t think they’re rookies anymore but I haven’t tuned in.

Friday

  • Brain Games (Fox, 9pm) – Friends turned me on to this games and experiments showing how the brain and perception are linked, I swear those were two different colors of gray. 

Saturday

  • Ultimate BBQ Cookout Countdown (ABC, 9pm) – Cook it good. 

Sunday

  • Arrested Development (Netflix) – The Bluths are back and the new season all out today on Netflix, takes a look at where each of the misfits are now.
  • French Open (NBC/ESPN2, various) – Who will be the king, and queen, of the clay?
  • Rock My RV with Bret Michaels (Trav, 9pm) Series Premiere – I don’t know why Bret is pimping RVs. 

The procrastinator lists items that may not be on your regular season pass, though notation does not imply recommendation other than those underlined. Times noted are typically PST.

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new and noteworthy tv: 4/1-4/7

hannibal3

Monday

  • The Real Housewives of Orange County (Brav, 8pm) Season Premiere – Whatevs.
  • The Gossip Game/Master of the Mix (VH1, 9/10pm) Series/Season Premieres – Challenging DJs and aspiring superstars.

Tuesday

  •  19 Kids & Counting (TLC, 9pm) Season Premiere – They’re back from Asia. 

Wednesday

  • Rogue (Dir, 9pm) Series Premiere – Thandie Newton leads the undercover detective first original series from DirecTV.
  • Spies of Warsaw (BBCA, 9pm) Miniseries Premiere – Spies before WWII.
  • How to Live with Your Parents (For the Rest of Your Life) (ABC, 9:30pm) Series Premiere – Sarah Chalke and some extended family might not be fresh but perhaps a bit of funny.
  • Forever Young (TVL, 10pm) Series Premiere – The under 30s and the over 70s are forced to hang out.
  • Best Ink (Oxy, 10pm) Season Premiere – Skin art competition.
  • My Crazy Obsession (TLC, 10pm) Season Premiere – Crazy is right.

Thursday

  • Casino Confidential/America’s Worst Tattoos/NY Ink (TLC, 8/9/10pm) Series/Season Premieres – Casinos and tattoos and tattoo artists.
  • Hannibal (NBC, 10pm) Series Premiere – Just another serial killer, or a fresh look at a bit of an origin story, I’m game to see.
  • Tabitha Takes Over (Brav, 10pm) Season Premiere – More hair salon help.
  • Men at Work (TBS, 10pm) Season Premiere – This dudes sitcom is getting another season.

Friday

  • Vice (HBO, 11pm) Series Premiere – Docuseries newsmag.

Saturday

  • My Cat From Hell (AnPl, 8pm) Season Premiere – Too allergic to watch.

Sunday

  • WTA Tennis (ESPN2, 10am) – Family Circle Cup final.
  • Cupcake Wars (Food, 8pm) Season Premiere – Let them eat…
  • Academy of Country Music Awards (CBS, 8pm) – Luke Bryan and Blake Shelton host.
  • Mad Men (AMC, 9pm) Season Premiere – I might be ready to start diving into this show.
  • River Monsters (AnPl, 9pm) Season Premiere – The fish did it?

The procrastinator lists items that may not be on your regular season pass, though notation does not imply recommendation other than those underlined. Times noted are typically PST.

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new and noteworthy tv: 3/25-3/31

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Monday

  • The Voice (NBC, 8pm) Season Premiere – At least a season with Usher and Shakira replacing Aguilara and Cee Lo.

Tuesday

  • Here Comes Peter Cottontail (CW, 8pm) – Peter oversleeps and must go back in time to fulfill his Easter Bunny duties.
  • Hardcore Pawn (Tru, 9pm) Season Premiere – Security problems.
  • The Game/Let’s Stay Together (BET, 10/11pm) Season Premieres – Draft night and more drama.

Wednesday

  • Bomb Girls (Reelz, 8pm) Season Premiere – A surprise visit, basically I have no idea what’s going on on Reelz.
  • Operation Repo (Tru, 10pm) Season Premiere – Business luck in Vegas.
  • The Real World (MTV, 10pm) Season Premiere – Portland.

Thursday

  • NCAA Basketball (CBS, 6:30pm) – Regional semifinal, basically nothing new tonight.

Friday

  • Happy Endings (ABC, 8pm) – Friday night’s gonna be alright.
  • XIII (Reelz, 10pm) Season Premiere – Darkest impulses.

Saturday

  • ATP Tennis (CBS, 9am/Sun 8:30am) – Sony Open, women’s final on Sat and men’s on Sun.
  • Doctor Who/Orphan Black/The Nerdist (BBCA, 8/9/10pm) Series/Season Premieres – The doctor is back, then a clone takes another’s place, and more geek chat.

Sunday

  • Call the Midwife/Mr Selfridge (PBS, 8/9pm) Season/Series Premieres – Jenny celebrates her birthday and Jeremy Piven brings a department store to life.
  • Game of Thrones (HBO, 9pm) Season Premiere – Whatever’s happening on this show keeps happening.

The procrastinator lists items that may not be on your regular season pass, though notation does not imply recommendation other than those underlined. Times noted are typically PST.

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new and noteworthy tv: 1/21-1/27

thefollowing

Monday

  • The Following (Fox, 9pm) Series Premiere – Ready to check out more degrees of Kevin Bacon as he plays a former FBI guy pulled back in by the pursuit of a killer he once captured.
  • Lizard Lick Towing/Swamp Hunters (Tru, 10/10:30pm) Season/Series Premieres – Was selling a bad idea, and the a family searches the swamps for relics.

Tuesday

  • The Taste (ABC, 8/10pm) Series Premiere – Another food competition, this one has Anthony Bourdain and Nigella Lawson.
  • The Ultimate Fighter (Fx, 8pm) Season Premiere – Team Jones vs. Team Sonnen.
  • Edge of America (Trav, 9pm) Series Premiere – Geoff Edgers travels the US for unusual fun.
  • Ramsay Behind Bars (BBCA, 9pm) Series Premiere – Ramsay teaches inmates how to cook in a London prison.

Wednesday

  • Big Rich Atlanta/Kimora (Style, 8/9pm) Series Premieres – Atlanta relationship reality and then watching Kimora Lee Simmons talke the helm of JustFab fashion co.

Thursday

  • Winter X Games (ESPN, various) – The winter variety of the games kicks off in Aspen.
  • Project Runway (Life, 8/9pm) Season Premiere – After a road to the runway, they’re back, though apparently without Kors this time, and this season being a ‘team’ format doesn’t promise for everyone getting along.

Friday

  • Spartacus (Starz, 9pm) Season Premiere – Looks like this is the final season.

Saturday

  • Australian Open (ESPN2, 12am, various) – If you haven’t figured out what the time difference with Australia is you can give up by now, both men’s and women’s finals seem to be on at 12am, on the only grand slam not on network television.
  • My Big Redneck Vacation/Swamp Pawn (CMT, 9/10pm) Season/Series Premieres – Hitting Florida beaches and then selling stuff from the swamp.

Sunday

  • Screen Actors Guild Award (TNT, 7pm) – Honoring performances.
  • The Vanilla Ice Project (DIY, 10pm) Season Premiere – Ice, ice, baby.

The procrastinator lists items that may not be on your regular season pass, though notation does not imply recommendation other than those underlined. Times noted are typically PST.

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new and noteworthy tv: 1/14-1/20

the-carrie-diaries-ftr

Of course my daytimes book up right when the Australian Open gets going…

Monday

  • Australian Open (ESPN2, various) – Happy tennis down under.
  • The Carrie Diaries (CW, 8pm) Series Premiere – If I ignore the Sex and the City and Carrie Bradshaw references I am inclined to have hope for an 80s girl origin story.
  • Continuum/Being Human/Lost Girl (Syfy, 8/9pm) Series/Season Premieres – I’m less inclined to be interested in terrorists that escape their execution in 2077 by traveling back in time, but find both the return of the ghost, the vampire, the werewolf, and then the succubus to be good if not somewhat campy fun.
  • Extreme Smuggling/Shipwreck Men (Disc, 8/9pm) Series Premieres – Smuggling techniques and maritime salvage.

Tuesday

  • The Bad Girls Club (Oxy, 8pm) Season Premiere – New bad girls invade Atlanta.
  • Pioneers of Television (PBS, 8pm) Season Premiere – Ryan Seacrest hosts starting with a look at funny women.
  • Face Off (Syfy, 9pm) Season Premiere – Competing makeup artists.
  • Real Husbands of Hollywood/Second Generation Wayans (BET, 10:30pm) Series Premieres – Semi scripted ‘reality’ husbands and then Damien Dante and Craig Wayans give their take on funny.

Wednesday

  • American Idol (Fox, 8pm) Season Premiere – I won’t do it, I won’t watch, I’m out.
  • Ghost Mine (Syfy, 10pm) Series Premiere – Really, a ghost show focusing on mines?
  • Workaholics/Kroll Show (Com, 10/10:30pm) Season/Series Premieres – The guys try to be funy and then Nick Kroll from The League takes on all kinds of characters in this new sketch show.

Thursday

  • Anger Management/Archer (Fx, 9/10pm) Season Premieres – Charlie’s back and then a comedic animated spy business is back.
  • Bellator MMA Live (Spike, 10pm) Series Premiere – Pat Curran and Patricio ‘Pitbull’ Freire fight.
  • King of the Nerds (TBS, 10pm) Series Premiere – Who’s going to be top nerd?
  • Legit/Totally Biased w. Kamau Bell (Fx, 10:30/11pm) Series/Season Premieres – Series following a crass comedian and then comedian and then comedic insights.

Friday

  • Best Week Ever (VH1, 10pm) Series Premiere – What’s going on this week?
  • Real Time with Bill Maher (HBO, 10pm) Season Premiere – More Bill.

Saturday

  • A Idiot Abroad/Stuff You Should Know (Sci, 9/10pm) Season/Series Premieres – More travel mocking and then a new mockumentary series.
  • Ripper Street/Wild Things with Dominic Monaghan (BBCA, 9/10:15pm) Series Premiere – Old London murders and new dangerous creatures.

Sunday

  • Kourtney & Kim Take Miami/Chasing the Saturdays (E!, 9/10pm) Season/Series Premieres – Girls I don’t care about followed by a girl band I don’t care about.

The procrastinator lists items that may not be on your regular season pass, though notation does not imply recommendation other than those underlined. Times noted are typically PST.

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