next week 3/2

New and notable in the week ahead… procrastinator picks are underlined.

Monday

  • The Bachelor (ABC, 8/10pm) Season Finale – Will the single father pick the blonde or the brunette? And will he change his mind, perhaps for returning Bachelorette DeAnna? After the Rose starts at 10 and continues in part two on Tuesday, will it be the most dramatic show yet?
  • Rules of Engagement (CBS, 9:30pm) Season Premiere – This show about folks at different stages of relationships with David Spade and Patrick Warburton among others, was one I found almost funny.
  • Ax Men (Hist, 10pm) Season Premiere – I think we look at more loggers… I think this is like the third logger show, maybe logging is that hot.
  • Harlem Heights (BET, 10/10:30pm) Series Premiere – This reality version follows folks in their twenties, in you guessed it, Harlem.
  • Saving Grace (TNT, 10pm) Season Premiere – Looks like Grace is still a mess and we love that about her, and now she has to break in new partner Christina Ricci, at least she won’t sleep with this partner, though I hate to rule anything out.
  • Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (NBC, 12:30am) – Will you tune in for De Niro and Timberlake or would you tune in for Fallon alone as he takes the desk.

Tuesday

  • Reaper (CW, 8pm) Season Premiere – This slacker dude whose soul has been sold to the devil and now has to be a bounty hunter for said devil developed a great cast and even some intrigue last season.

Wednesday

  • ANTM (CW, 8pm) Season Premiere – A two hour kick off brings 34 hopefuls down to 13 house dwellers, and then the mess continues with the first standard show.
  • Make Me A Supermodel (Bravo, 10pm) Season Premiere – For an alternate take on model wannabes check out Tyson hosting a crop of dudes and chicks who try to be fierce, or whatever that show’s catch phrase is.

Thursday

  • American Idol (Fox, 8pm) – In a special additional Thursday ep, the judges pick some favorites to try it again for the wild card slots.

Friday

  • Say Yes to the Dress (TLC, 10/10:30pm) Season Premiere – The process of picking a wedding gown, can’t wait!
  • Trick my Truck (CMT, 10pm) Season Premiere – A truck tricked in tribute to speedboats, woo hoo!

Saturday

  • Ashes to Ashes (BBCA, 9pm) Series Premiere – I’m not sure but this show sounds like Life on Mars but someone finds themselves in the 80s, oh wait it’s a sequel, to the BBC version of course.

Sunday

  • Cycling (Vs, 2pm) – Check out the guys at Paris Nice.
  • SNL (NBC, 7/8pm) – Game show parodies is followed by commercials.
  • The L Word (Show, 8/9pm) Series Finale – A special at 8 reviews the past seasons getting us all ready for the finale.
  • Sunday Best (BET, 9pm) Season Premiere – Undiscovered gospel singers.
  • Breaking Bad (AMC, 10pm) Season Premiere – The school teacher turned meth maker/dealer to support his family when he learns of his terminal cancer continues as he and his partner get into more messes – marathon to catch up on season 1 starting with the pilot at 8pm on Fri.
  • Keeping Up with the Kardashians (E!, 10pm) Season Premiere – Does anyone really care?
  • Candy Girls (E!, 10:30pm) Series Premiere – Eye candy for sale, well for rent, for music videos or whatever in this latest reality show.

* Always check your local listings, all times are PST.

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next week 2/23

New and notable in the week ahead…

Monday

  • The Bachelor (ABC, 8pm) – The women tell all…

Tuesday

  • Presidential Address (Various, 6pm) – Obama talks to a joint session of congress to outline challenges and proposed actions.
  • Dark Days in Monkey City (AnPl, 10pm) Series Premiere – Live action and animation for a couple species of monkeys.

Wednesday

  • American Idol (Fox, 8pm) – It’s on Wed and Thursday this week for the next round of twelve, so set the tivos, the results shows are definitely supposed to be fast forwarded through.

Thursday

  • Secrets of the Furious 5 (NBC, 8pm) – Apparently the guys from Kung Fu Panda are bringing another tale.
  • The Chris Isaak Hour (Bio, 7pm) Series Premiere – Trisha Yearwood joins Chris to kick off his show.

Friday

  • American Loggers (Disc, 10pm) Series Premiere – Timberrrrrrrr!

Saturday

  • America/Anacondas (Life/SciFi, 9pm) – Desperation may make you turn to an original telefilm…

Sunday

  • Saturday Night Live Just Shorts (NBC, 7pm) – Andy Samburg has brought some funny and hosts this compilation of the mostly not live portion of the show.
  • Running in Heels (Style, 8pm) Series Premiere – A look at fashion mag Marie Claire through various employees.
  • The Apprentice (NBC, 9pm) Season Premiere – Dennis Rodman, Joan Rivers, and a bevy of d listers take on Trumps tasks. 
  • Jesse Stone (CBS, 9pm) – ‘Thin Ice’ has Tom Selleck as Jesse Stone in the latest telefilm based on the Parker novels.
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next week 2/16

New and notable in the week ahead… procrastinator picks are underlined.

Monday

  • Tour of California (Vs) – Check the week for stages 3-9, usually showing about three times a day, and get a look at some of the top cycling teams.
  • Little People, Big World (TLC, 8pm) Season Premiere – They’re heading to Iraq with a surgeon to help some kids.

Tuesday

  • American Idol (Fox, 8pm) – Time to get the speed dial ready, and remember it’s a singing competition, let’s get this down to a good top 12.
  • Dogg After Dark (MTV, 9pm) Series Premiere – Snoop Dogg gets a variety show.
  • Real Housewives of NYC (Brav, 11pm) Season Premiere – New housewife, old tension.

Wednesday

  • Little Miss Perfect (WEtv, 10pm) Series Premiere – Junior beauty pageants and their parents compete.
  • High School Reunion (TVL, 10pm) Season Premiere – After my high school was in consideration for a season of this I have almost been tempted to tune in, almost.

Thursday

  • Being Erica (Soap, 10pm) Series Premiere – Can you relive old moments in your life, this new series shows a gal do just that?

Friday

  • Mistresses (BBCA, 8pm) Series Debut – Four ladies have some drama on this new drama.
  • Real Time with Bill Maher (HBO, 10pm) Season Premiere -Bill has a real time.
  • Late Night with Conan O’Brien (NBC, 12:35am) – Say goodbye to Late Night with Conan O’Brien and hello to The Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien, but not until June 1.

Saturday

  • Taking Chance (HBO, 8pm) – Do people still do the six degrees of Kevin Bacon, check out this flick if you want fodder.
  • 2009 Film Independent’s Spirit Awards (IFC, 9pm) – These awards go indie style.
  • Aisha Tyler Is Lit: Live at the Fillmore (Com, 11pm) – I worked with Aisha forever ago at a regular office job and don’t know whether her success inspires or depresses me.

Sunday

  • Barbara Walters Special (ABC, 8:30pm) – Anne Hathaway, Mickey Rourke, Hugh Jackman, and the Jonas Brothers.
  • The 100 Most Outrageous Moments 2 (NBC, 9pm) – Outrageous home videos, that must be much better than the funniest home videos.
  • The 81st Annual Academy Awards (ABC, 3:30/5/5:30pm) – Silly preshow interviews, awkward host moments with Jackman, boring speeches, and noteworthy fashions, oh and a chance to win my Oscar pool.

* Please note all times are PST.

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next week 2/9

New and notable in the week ahead… procrastinator picks are underlined.

Monday

  • Presidential News Conference (various, 5pm*) – Obama talks the talk.
  • Top Gear (BBCA, 8pm) Season Premiere – Looks like there is some truck and porsche driving.
  • Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show (USA & others mon & tues, check your local listings) – Doggies!
  • BET Honors (BET, 6pm) – Gabrielle Union hosts the latest honors.
  • The Girls of Hedsor Hall (MTV, 9pm) Series Premiere – Another chance for crass girls to turn sophisticated, but this time they ship them to England.

Tuesday

  • TI’s Road to Redemption (MTV, 9pm) Series Premiere – Awaiting his own sentencing on weapons charges TI is clearly the model citizen to try to help some at-risk teens.
  • From G’s to Gents (MTV, 10pm) Season Premiere – I think they keep these bad boys away from the Girls of Hedsor Hall as they try to make them more gentlemanly.

Wednesday

  • Important Things with Demetri Martin (Com, 10:30pm) Series Premiere – Sketch comedy and more.

Thursday

  • NAACP Image Awards (Fox, 8pm) – Halle Berry and Tyler Perry host this one.
  • Survivor (CBS, 8pm) Season Premiere – The eliminations start early when they hit the Brazilian highlands.
  • Millionaire Matchmaker (Brav, 10pm) Season Premiere – I only caught one ep of this last season but it looked like an annoying owner of an ill equipped dating service helping socially inept men meat their trophy wives.

Friday

  • Dollhouse (Fox, 9pm) Series Premiere – I do love Joss Whedon (Buffy, Angel, Firefly, Dr Horrible) and I’m willing to give any new series of his more than a few eps of devotion, this latest brings us Buffy’s Faith/Eliza Dushku as one of a set of operatives who get new identities implanted and then wiped clean for weekly missions.

Saturday

  • Tour of California (Vs, 2pm, various times through next week) – They start out in Sacramento…
  • My Valentine Charlie Brown/A Charlie Brown Valentine (ABC, 8pm, also on previous Tues) – Romantic problems start in your youth…

Sunday

  • The Amazing Race (CBS, 8pm) Season Premiere – This year we’re going to see among others… the show’s first hearing-impaired contestant, along with some oldsters, some youngsters…
  • Eastbound & Down (HBO, 10:30pm) Series Premiere – Washed up big league baseball guy returns to his hometown to do the PE thing.

* Times noted are PST, check your local listings.

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next week 2/2

New and notable in the week ahead… procrastinator picks are underlined.

Monday

  • Chuck (NBC, 8pm) – Chuck goes 3d and I’m sure gets into some trouble.
  • I Love Money (VH1, 9pm) Season Premiere – This is the show where reality contestants compete in a reality contest.
  • Medium (NBC, 10pm) Season Premiere – Allison’s got a case of the visions, or something.
  • For the Love of Ray J (VH1, 10:30pm) Series Premiere – By now you’re probably familiar with the ‘rock star’ dating shows even if you’re not familiar with Ray J.

Tuesday

  • The IT Crowd (IFC, 8pm) Season Premiere – There’s a crowd and they’re in IT.

Wednesday

  • Katie Couric “All Access” Grammy Special (CBS, 9pm) – Katie interviews the kids with the Grammys.
  • Monsterquest (Hist, 10pm) Season Premiere – This ep is titled ‘Death of Loch Ness’ but let me tell you if there was a Loch Ness, and I’m not saying there was, he’s gonna be pissed if people start saying he’s dead.
  • The Exterminators (A&E, 10:30pm) Series Premiere – Let’s head to Louisiana to get rid of some bees and some coons.

Thursday

  • Gangland (Hist, 9pm) Season Premiere – We see the land of gangs.
  • Street Customs (TLC, 9pm) Season Premiere – We customize a ’67 barracuda.
  • Heli-Loggers (TLC, 10pm) Series Premiere – It’s what it sounds like, logging with helicopters.

Friday

  • Most Haunted (Trav, 7pm) Season Premiere – Not just haunted, but the most haunted places.
  • Jockeys (AnPl, 9pm) Series Premiere – We check in on the jockeys and their horses down at Santa Anita during a 30 day meet.

Saturday

  • Tour of California (Vs, 2pm) – This preview show will take a look at the tour and I’m sure mention Lance.

Sunday

  • Grammy Awards (CBS, 8pm) – Lil Wayne has the most noms and you can tune in to see him perform along with other hot hitmakers.
  • HGTV Showdown (HGTV, 9pm) Season Premiere – It’s a family room makeover!
  • Rob Dyrdek’s Fantasy Factor/The College Humor Show/Nitro Circus/How’s Your News? (MTV, 9/9:30/10/10:30pm) Series Premieres – Pro skateboarder, the guys from collegehumor.com, FMX, and reporters with disabilities…
  • XIII (NBC, 9pm) – Can Stephen Dorff recall whether he was involved in the assassination of the first chick prez, if not tonight check back next sunday for part two of the miniseries.
  • Mark & Olly: Living With the Machigenga (Trav, 10pm) Series Premiere – They start by searching for the Machigenga tribe.
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next week 1/19

New and notable in the week ahead… procrastinator picks are underlined.

Monday

  • Australian Open (ESPN2, 12:30am, through next week*) – The open continues!
  • Electric Company (PBS, 3:30pm*) – A new generation of whatever it was this show did.
  • House (Fox, 8pm) – If you’re not a season pass sort of person you should note the new time and rumor has it we will eventually see more of the original casties Cameron and Chase.
  • Will Work for Food (Food, 8:30pm) Series Premiere – Next Food Network star competitor Adam Gertler checks out food related jobs.
  • Momma’s Boys (NBC, 10pm) Season Finale – Will the mommas and the boys agree on their romantic choices?

Tuesday

  • Inauguration (Check Your Local Listings*) – This looks like it goes on all day and night but as I understand it the actual oath taking and inaugural address happen around noon DC time.
  • Tour Down Under (Vs, 1pm*) – Lance is back and you can check him out in this tour that runs through Sunday.

Wednesday

  • Lost (ABC, 8/9pm, repeats Saturday) Season Premiere – Recapping the previous seasons at 8 then the two hour premiere at 9, I’m kind of curious as to when we’ll be and whether we’ll be doing flash backs or forwards.
  • Lie to Me (Fox, 9pm) Series Premiere – If you’re down with The Mentalist, Monk, and/or Psych, this latest guy with great observational skills put Tim Roth in the lie detector seat.

Thursday

  • Winter X Games (ESPN, 6pm, ESPN2, ABC*) – The stars of snow compete in Aspen through Sunday.
  • Bones (Fox, 8/9pm) – New time slot for our crime solving duo and the squints.
  • Burn Notice (USA, 10pm) Season Premiere – Our ousted spy is still trying to get answers while helping people in this mostly cheesy but fun caper show.

Friday

  • Wolverine and the X-Men (Nicktoons, 8/8:30pm) Series Premiere – Nothing much going on a friday night so I have stooped to noting cartoons.

Saturday

  • Gone Country (CMT, 8pm) Season Premiere – Non country folks like Justin Guarini and Micky Dolenz try out their country chops.
  • Miss America Live (TLC, 8pm) – Being on The Learning Channel I might think Miss America would teach me something.
  • US Figure Skating Championship (NBC, 9pm) – If you’re down with the tiny girls spinning around…

Sunday

  • SAG Awards (TNT, 8pm) – Film and TV actors honor each other.
  • The Last Templar (NBC, 9pm) – The miniseries continues on Monday as Mira Sorvino and Scott Foley do the sort of find the secret museumy, archaeological kind of thing.

* Check your local times.

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next week 1/12

New and notable in the week ahead… procrastinator picks are underlined.

Monday

  • Kyle XY (ABCFam, 9pm) Season Premiere – Kyle might be in love, trouble must follow as his lady friend gets kidnapped.

Tuesday

  • American Idol (Fox, 8pm – also Wed at 8pm) Season Premiere – This season we’ve added a judge as we start with the cattle call of terrible songsters.

Wednesday

  • Lost (ABC, 8pm) – Last season’s finale reminds us how confused we were last season.
  • Friday Night Lights (DirTV, 9pm) Season Finale – The kids create drama on and off the field.

Thursday

  • CSI (CBS, 9pm) – Say goodbye to Grissom.
  • Saw for Hire (TLC, 9pm) Series Premiere – A tree removal service is the latest reality focus, yes you read that right, tree removal.
  • The Beast (A&E, 10pm) Series Premiere – Patrick Swayze is veteran undercover cop taking his new partner through the paces.
  • Randy Jackson Presents America’s Best Dance Crew (MTV, 10pm) Season Premiere – The crews, they are a dancing.
  • Celebrity Rehab Presents Sober House (VH1, 10pm) Series Debut – If you were addicted to Celebrity Rehab this might be the next step in your addiction.
  • Treasure Quest (Disc, 10pm) Series Premiere – Ready to explore ship wrecks?

Friday

  • Friday Night Lights (NBC, 9pm) Season Premiere – For those of you who missed the direct tv version, season 3 is kicking off network style.
  • Battlestar Galactica (SciFi, 9pm) Season Premiere – The final season continues the cylon battle.

Saturday

  • Solitary (Fox Real, 9pm) Season Premiere – They volunteer for torture on television, in solitary.

Sunday

  • Australian Open (ESPN2, 4pm) – Day one of the first tennis slam of the season, because today is tomorrow in Australia.
  • The Mentalist (CBS, 9pm) – Don’t miss a new episode of Simon Baker on a special night.
  • Big Love (HBO, 9pm) Season Premiere – The polygamists are back for another season.
  • United States of Tara (Show, 10pm) Series Premiere – Toni Collette stars as a housewife with personality disorder, written by Juno’s Diablo Cody.
  • Secret Diary of a Call Girl (Show, 10:30pm) Season Premiere – What happens when you mistake a regular guy for a client?
  • Flight of the Conchords (10pm) Season Premiere – The boys are back with songs and general hilarity!
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next week 1/5

New and notable in the week ahead…

Monday

  • The Bachelor (ABC, 8pm) Season Premiere – For those of you who missed the really nice guy with the kid from the Bachelorette… he gets to pick now.
  • The Secret Life of the American Teenager (ABC Fam, 8pm) Season Premiere – I really tried to like this cheesy show but I just couldn’t groove with the bad characters and clunky dialogue.
  • Masters of Illusion (MNT, 10pm) Series Premiere – Illusions will happen.
  • Diettribe (Life, 10pm) Series Premiere – The ladies put it on together, and the ladies will take it off together.
  • True Beauty (ABC, 10pm) Series Premiere -Vanessa Minnillo hosts this latest elimination series where it looks like shallow pretty folks are judged on inner beauty.
  • Daddy’s Girls (MTV, 10:30pm) Series Premiere – This is apparently a spin off of Run’s House, and I don’t know what that is either.

Tuesday

  • The Biggest Loser (NBC, 8pm) Season Premiere – And the losing continues, this round is couples.
  • Homeland Security USA (ABC, 8pm) Series Premiere – I think this is kind of like an infomercial for homeland security.
  • Scrubs (ABC, 9/9:30pm) Season Premiere – A new network and Courtney Cox takes over where Kelso left off, at least for now.
  • Vice Squad (MNT, 9/9:30pm) Series Premiere – Like Cops but for Vice.
  • Nip/Tuck (FX, 11pm) Season Premiere – And the guys keep doing what they do.
  • Primetime: What Would You Do? (ABC, 10pm) Season Premiere – I think they cruelly make people witness awkward or illegal situations to see what they would do.
  • Wreckreation Nation (Disc, 10pm) Series Premiere – Lawnmower racing and alligator wrestling are just a sample of things to come.
  • 10 Items or Less (TBS, 11pm) Season Premiere – Scripted and improved grocery store humor.

Wednesday

  • 13: Fear is Real (CW, 8pm) Series Premiere – Folks have now volunteered to be scared in this elimination show.
  • People’s Choice Awards (CBS, 9pm) – The people have chosen.
  • Barbara Walters Special (ABC, 10pm) – Patrick Swayze has a new cable series coming out and talks about that and his cancer.
  • Damages (FX, 10pm) Season Premiere – Folks dig this Glen Close legal thriller but I never got on board.
  • The Real World (MTV, 10pm) Season Premiere – It’s the 21st season and they’re heading to Brooklyn.
  • Tyler Perry’s Meet the Browns (TBS, 10pm) Series Premiere – He started with House of Payne but here’s the latest.

Thursday

  • Dragon’s Den (BBC, 8pm) Season Premiere – Folks pitch ideas to multimillionaires.
  • Critic’s Choice Awards (VH1, 8:30/9pm) – Red carpet followed by the awards themselves as the critics pick.
  • Greg Behrendt’s Wake-Up Call (Soap, 10pm) Series Premiere – Couples get help from Greg on their relationships.
  • Snapped (Oxy, 10pm) Season Premiere – I think they look at photos of crimes.

Friday

  • Howie Do It (NBC, 8pm) Series Premiere – I didn’t get Mandel’s Deal or No Deal and I don’t get these pull a prank on people shows.
  • Flashpoint (CBS, 9pm) Season Premiere – This Strategic Response Unit ‘cop show’ is a decent procedural that’s back for another round.
  • Lipstick Jungle (NBC, 9pm) Series Finale – The ladies wrap thier run with a little more drama and lipstick.
  • Monk/Psych (USA, 9/10pm) Season Premiere(s) – The oddball crimefighters are back.
  • Stargate Atlantis (Scifi, 9pm) Series Finale – Will they stop the threat to earth, is there a threat to earth?

Saturday

  • Winter Dew Tour (NBC/USA, Sat/Sun, 2/12am, 1:30/1pm) – The winter action sports series is kickin’ it in Mount Snow Vt.
  • My Big Redneck Wedding (CMT, 9pm) Season Premiere – Tom Arnold lends a sarcastic line or two to these trashy weddings.
  • CMT Cribs (CMT, 9:30pm) Season Premiere – MTV cribs is doing it country-style.

Sunday

  • Golden Globe Awards (NBC, 7/8pm) – The Hollywood Foreign Press Association hands out tv and movie honors.
  • 24 (Fox, 8pm) Season Premiere – Jack’s back in some sort of fix, for hours.
  • Toolacademy (VH1, 10pm) Series Premiere – Ladies send their boyfriends to get some coaching to be less of a tool.
  • Battlestar Galactica (SciFi, 11pm) – Top ten things you need to know… I am still only up to season 2.
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next week 12/29

New and notable in the week ahead…

Monday

  • Greatest Holiday Moments (NBC, 8pm) – Think funniest home videos holiday style. 
  • Bromance/The City (MTV, 9/10pm) Series Premiere(s)– A couple kids from The Hills spin off their own gigs, first Brody Jenner looks for a new beaux Paris Hilton style and then Whitney Port leaves the west coast to make it in the big apple.

Tuesday

  • Burn Notice (USA, 6am-4pm) – This fun campy no-longer-a-spy spy show set in Miami gives a little marathon to catch you up.
  • Kennedy Center Honors (CBS, 9pm) – Caroline Kennedy host the honoring of Morgan Freeman, George Jones, Barbra Streisand, Twyla Tharp, Pete Townshend and Roger Daltry.

Wednesday

  • Dick Clark’s Primetime New Year’s Rockin’ Eve with Ryan Seacrest (ABC, 10pm) Ryan and Dick bring along Fergie and Kellie Pickler to help correspond with all the activity.
  • New Year’s Eve with Carson Daly (NBC, 10pm) – Will this be more or less rockin’ than Dick and Ryan’s?
  • New Year’s Eve Live (Fox, 11pm) – Spike Feresten and Mark Thompson don’t even get their names in the title.

Thursday

  • Tournament of Roses Parade – Check your local listings for the various showings of this flower filled parade.

Friday

  • If you’re desperate Lipstick Jungle is new, I’m not that desperate…

Saturday

  • Game Show in My Head (CBS, 8/8:30pm) Series Premiere – Folks are foolish in public by following instructions via earpiece.

Sunday

  • Rock of Love Charm School (VH1, 7pm) – It’s the reunion show which might be good for some hair pulling.
  • Confessions of a Teen Idol (VH1, 8pm) Series Premiere – 80s and 90s teen idols give us a little insight, or something.
  • Rock of Love (VH1, 9pm) Season Premiere – Still no love for Bret, so this season the ladies are going on tour with him… will he find ‘the one’, or are we just casting for another Charm School?
  • Superstars of Dance (NBC, 9pm) Series Premiere – Folks from all over the world compete.
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next week 12/22

New and notable in the week ahead…

Monday

  • Today Looks Back (NBC, 8pm) – The Today Show stays up to prime time to give us a look back.

Tuesday

  • A Home for the Holidays (CBS, 8pm) – Faith Hill and the gang raise adoption awareness.
  • Rediscovered (ABC, 9pm) – Donny and Marie give some folks who put their hats in the ring as child stars another shot.
  • The List (ABC, 10pm) – Entertainment lists galore.

Wednesday

  • It’s a Wonderful Life (NBC, 8pm) – Jimmy Stewart does it again.
  • The Flight Before Christmas/Story of Santa Clause (CW, 8/9pm) – A reindeer does some test flights with flying squirrels before we learn how Nick got his start.

Thursday

  • Yule Log – Check your local listings.

Friday/Saturday/Sunday

  • Not a lot new or holiday related going on after the 25th so get some dvds ready.
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