tv

new and noteworthy tv: 9/6-9/12

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Summer’s not officially over but I’m starting to sense fall. Procrastinator picks are underlined.

Monday

  • CBS Fall Preview (CBS, 8:30) – Hawaii 5-0 and whatnot.
  • Hoarders (A&E, 9/10pm) Season Premiere – There is some serious possums running through the house, no place to move, calling child services hoarding in the previews.
  • Thintervention with Jackie Warner (Brav, 10:15pm) Series Premiere – Jackie Warner tries to get some folks thin.

Tuesday

  • 360 Sessions (IFC, 6pm) Series Premiere – David Gray guests on what I assume is a well rounded look at him.
  • Rehab (Tru, 10pm) Season Premiere – I think this show is actually a look at partying not rehab.
  • Sons of Anarchy (Fx, 10pm) Season Premiere – Can’t wait to see all the trouble they get into and out of, Jax and the gang’s struggles to do the right thing pull me in as much as the action.

Wednesday

  • ANTM (CW, 8pm) Season Premiere – I just can’t stay away from this show, though I don’t seem to care about the girls and Tyra is unbearable, wait why do I watch this?
  • Hellcats (CW, 9pm, repeats Fri) Series Premiere – This looks like a cheesy Bring it On but I can’t resist checking out the cheese.
  • Inside the NFL (Show, 9pm) Season Premiere – I wanna say they look at the NFL.
  • Terriers (Fx, 10pm, repeats various) Series Premiere – One of the new shows that I’m genuinely interested in seeing, critics are saying good things and I dig Donal Logue, seeing him in an edgy, comic buddy, PI type show seems like a good fit.
  • Black Gold (Tru, 10pm) Season Premiere – The gang gets new management in this reality fare.
  • The Day Before (Sund, 10pm) Season Premiere – The season starts with a look at Diane von Furstenberg.

Thursday

  • The Vampire Diaries (CW, 8pm) Season Premiere – I sampled this series last season but couldn’t get into the latest vampire brooding stares and small town goings on.
  • Sunday Night Football (NBC, 8:30pm) Season Premiere – Also on Sunday.
  • Nikita (CW, 9pm, repeats Fri) Series Premiere – Not sure what to make of this latest take on Le Femme Nikita based on the previews but it’s getting enough good buzz, as is Maggie Q as our rogue assassin back for revenge.
  • Destination Truth/Beast Legends (Syfy, 9/10pm) Season/Series Premiere – Paranormal and then beasty investigations.
  • Watch What Happens (Brav, 10pm) Season Premiere – An interview show that kicks off with some of the ‘real’ housewives.

Friday

  • Stand Up to Cancer (Various, 8pm) – Celebrities and performers on this fundraiser.
  • Four Weddings (TLC, 10pm) Season Premiere – Brides judge each other’s weddings to win a dream honeymoon.
  • Fashion Police (E!, 10:30pm) Series Premiere – Joan Rivers dishes.
  • Martin Lawrence Presents 1st Amendment Stand-Up (Starz, 11pm) Season Premiere – Martin brings in the comics.

Saturday

  • Cops/America’s Most Wanted (Fox, 8/9pm) Season Premieres – Can you believe these shows have been on for 23 and 24 seasons respectively?
  • Dogs 101 (AnPl, 8pm) Season Premiere – More doggie info.

Sunday

  • US Open (CBS/ESPN2, various) – The Grand Slam concludes with the women’s final on Saturday and men’s Sunday.
  • MTV VMAs (MTV, 9pm) – Chelsea Handler hosts, let the Kanye West jokes end.
  • Over the Limit (Tru, 10pm) Season Premiere – It’s like Cops I think.
  • The World of Jenks (MTV, 11pm) Series Premiere – Andrew Jenks is a filmmaker who follows strangers to show insight into their worlds.

Since scheduling come fall gets difficult and networks sometimes rerun pilots I’ll try to note repeat airings for new shows, all times are typically PST.

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new and noteworthy tv: 8/30-9/5

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Another week before anything really new comes out, good thing I have tennis to entertain me.

Monday

  • Diners, Drive-ins & Dives (Food, 10/10:30pm) Season Premiere – Family joints and gas stations.

Tuesday

  • Presidential Address (MSNBC, 5pm) – Obama talks Iraq.

Wednesday

  • CMA Music Festival: Country’s Night to Rock (ABC, 8pm) – Tim McGraw hosts country stars rockin’.
  • Changing Lanes (BET, 8pm) Series Premiere – Vie for a spot on Nascar, or is it at Nascar?
  • Sci-Fi Science (Sci, 7pm) Season Premiere – Earth, the galaxy…

Thursday

  • Thursday Night College Football (ESPN, 8pm) Season Premiere – I think Saturday night college football also starts this week, but don’t quote me on my football scheduling knowledge.

Friday

  • Camp Rock 2 (Disney, 8pm) – The teenyboppers rock on.

Saturday

  • US Open (ESPN2/CBS, various) – Early rounds kick off on Monday with network coverage starting Saturday and Sunday, will there be enough healthy women to compete and could we see Nadal and Federer in the final?

Sunday

  • Jerseylicious/Mel B: It’s a Scary World (Style, 8/9pm) Season/Series Premiere – Omg, who cares?
  • Freaky Eaters (TLC, 10/10:30pm) Series Premiere – Addicted to cheeseburgers or sugar or…
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new and noteworthy tv: 8/23-8/29

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Monday

  • Miss Universe Pageant (NBC, 9pm) – Hosted by Bret Michaels and Natalie Morales, and it looks like Sheila E will be one of the highlights.

Tuesday

  • Made: The Movie (MTV, 10pm) – Based on the reality series this scripted version of band gal goes cheerleader.

Wednesday

  • Ghost Hunters (Syfy, 9pm) Season Premiere – Shadows, voices, noises…
  • Who the (Bleep) Did I Marry (ID, 10pm) Series Premiere – Is your spouse hiding a shocking secret?

Thursday

  • Family Style (Food, 10:30pm) Series Premiere – Planning aphrodisiac apps for a speed dating event.

Friday

  • The Gulf is Back (CW, 8pm) – Hasselhoff follows up his roast with a hosting event, a tribute to Gulf Coast residents.
  • Beyond Survival with Les Stroud (Disc, 10pm) Series Premiere – The guy from Survivorman hobnobs with indigenous locals to learn survival skills.
  • Blood Dolphins (AnPl, 11pm) Series Premiere – For those of you who appreciate Whale Wars.

Saturday

  • Persons Unknown (NBC, 9pm) Series Finale – Persons become known?

Sunday

  • Arthur Ashe Kids’ Day (CBS, 9pm) – Kicking off the US Open is the annual charity event featuring tennis greats and some random teenybopper bands.
  • Emmy Awards (NBC, 7/8pm) – From the arrivals to the awards, Jimmy Fallon hosts.
  • Border Wars (NGC, 9pm) Season Premiere – Another look into illegal immigration.
  • Amazing Wedding Cakes (WE, 10pm) Season Premiere – Another show that looks at the cakes.
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new and noteworthy tv: 8/16-8/22

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Monday

  • Weeds/The Big C (Show, 10/10:30pm) Season/Series Premiere – A couple ladies who find some funny and some drama in their tough situations.
  • Hardcore Pawn (Tru, 10/10:30pm) Series Premiere – How many pawn shop reality shows does this make?

Tuesday

  • Melissa & Joey (ABCFam, 8/8:30pm) Series Premiere – Our old school sitcom stars together at last, or again… well they’re together, it’s like Who’s the Boss.
  • Big Lake (Com, 10/10:30pm) Series Premiere – A new sitcom where big city failure comes back home to smalltown crazy.

Wednesday

  • Surviving the Cut (Disc, 10pm) Series Premiere – Candidates for elite military schools.
  • She’s Got the Look (TVL, 10:30pm) Season Premiere – This is the modeling competition for ‘old’ women.

Thursday

  • Pitchmen (Disc, 6pm) Season Premiere – What will the inventors propose this season?
  • Extreme Cuisine with Jeff Corwin (Food, 8pm) Season Premiere – Starting off in New Zealand with what can only assume are weird foods.
  • Nightline Prime (ABC, 10pm) – Start of a four part series on the brain.
  • You’re Wearing That?!? (WE, 10/10:30pm) Series Premiere – Mother daughter makeover show.
  • WCG Ultimate Gamer (Syfy, 11pm) Season Premiere – Something about gamers…

Friday

  • Death Comes to Town (IFC, 7pm) – An eight part miniseries brought in by the comedic troupe Kids in the Hall.

Saturday

  • Persons Unknown (NBC, 8pm) – After watching tonight’s episode be sure the catch the next one online only before the two hour finale next week.

Sunday

  • Tennis (CBS, 9am) – The finals of the Western & Southern Masters in Cincinnati, following earlier coverage on ESPN2.
  • Delocated/Children’s Hospital (AdSw/Cart, 10/10:30pm) Season Premieres – These odd series return with made for tv episodes.
  • Swamp People (Hist, 10pm) Series Premiere – The latest reality follows folks in the swamp lands of Louisiana.
  • Family Style (Food, 10pm) Series Premiere – Siblings open an eatery in Carlsbad.
  • Keeping Up with the Kardashians/The Spin Crowd (E!, 10/10:30pm) Season/Series Premiere – The Kardashians and then we follow the opening of a PR firm.
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new and noteworthy tv: 8/9-8/15

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Monday

  • Teen Choice Awards (Fox, 8pm) – Katy Perry hosts this latest surf board giveaway.
  • Bachelor Pad (ABC, 8pm) Series Premiere – All the smarmiest do a Big Brother-esque live in the same house and compete for money kind of thang.
  • Too Fat for 15 (Style, 8pm) Series Premiere – It’s like that Huge show but with real kids.
  • Wild Nights (NatGeo, 9pm) Series Premiere – Starting with New Orleans nocturnals.
  • Dating in the Dark (ABC, 10pm) Season Premiere – Can you build a real connection without seeing the other person, and when you see them will the connection break?

Tuesday

  • Flipping Out (Brav, 9pm) Season Premiere – More house flipping by some guy.
  • Swords (Disc, 6pm) Season Premiere – Hmm, I think this is swordfishing not swordfighting.
  • Hair Battle Spectacular (Oxy, 10pm) Series Premiere – Another hair cutting competition, this one is extreme.
  • IT Crowd (IFC, 7:30pm) Season Premiere – Is work advancement worth it.

Wednesday

  • Man vs Wild (Disc, 9pm) Season Premiere – What’ll Bear get into and out of this season?
  • Hard Knocks (HBO, 10pm) Season Premiere – This season we start off with the NY Jets.
  • LA Ink (TLC, 10pm) Season Premiere – New tattoos, new people.

Thursday

  • American Chopper/BBQ Pit Masters (TLC, 9/10pm) Season Premieres – Jr vs Sr and then pitmaster vs pitmaster.
  • Deadly Women (ID, 6pm) Season Premiere – Women who kill for revenge.

Friday

  • Perhaps a dvd to entertain, I might finish up Carnivale.

Saturday

  • Dew Tour (NBC/USA, sat/sun, 1pm/various) – The event also shown on USA continues the competition at this event and for the overall Dew cup.
  • Visa Championships (NBC, 8pm) – Let the gymnasts compete.
  • The Cupcake Girls (WE, 9/9:30pm) Series Premiere – The challenges of the cupcake business.

Sunday

  • The Great Food Truck Race (Food, 10pm) Series Premiere – May the most sales win.
  • Lottery Changed My Life (TLC, 10pm) Season Premiere – What would you do if you won the lottery, looking at real life people who have.
  • Roast of David Hasselhoff (Com, 10pm) – So much fodder.
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new and noteworthy tv: 8/2-8/8

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Monday

  • Bachelorette (ABC, 8/10) – The pick and then after the rose…the most shocking…
  • Money Hungry/Scream Queens (VH1, 9/10pm) Series/Season Premiere – Teams of two put in their own dough to try to win the big pot by losing the most weight, then ‘actresses’ compete to scream in Saw 3d.
  • Aftermath with William Shatner (Bio, 10pm) Series Debut – Interviewing folks who’ve gone through dramatic events starting with ‘the subway vigilante’.

Tuesday

  • 18 to Life (CW, 9/9:30pm) Series Premiere – Another Canadian import… this time they’re young and in love, out of high school and engaged, oh the hilarity.
  • The Bad Girls Club (Oxy, 9pm) Season Premiere – I’m not sure what qualifies one as a bad girl but I can assume there will be some bitchiness.
  • Shaq Vs. (ABC, 9pm) Season Premiere – Nascar here we come… and perhaps a spell off with spelling bee champion.
  • The Rachel Zoe Project (Brav, 10pm) Season Premiere – Stylist, psycho, whatever…
  • 19 Kids and Counting (TLC, 9/9:30pm) Season Premiere – Duggars, Duggars, Duggars…
  • Scrappers (Spike, 10/10:30pm) Series Premiere – Scrap metal scavengers.

Wednesday

  • Wonders of the Solar System (Sci, 6pm) Series Premier – Looking into the physics and whatnot.
  • Dark Blue (TNT, 9/10pm) Season Premiere – The undercover team is still undercover.
  • Criss Angel: Mindfreak (A&E, 10pm) Season Premiere – Jump across the Grand Canyon anyone?

Thursday

  • The Real Housewives of DC (Brav, 9pm) Series Premiere – Because we need to watch more “real” housewives, and to make matters worse this has that Salahi woman who snuck into the Whitehouse.
  • The Squad: Prison Police (A&E, 10pm) Series Premiere – Cop reality shows hit the clink.
  • Stan Lee’s Superhumans (Hist, 10pm) Series Premiere – A look at real life people with supposed abilities, but maybe no costumes.

Friday

  • Gangland (Hist, 10pm) Season Premiere – Something about gangs and land or something.

Saturday

  • WWE Wrestlemania (NBC, 9pm) – The 26th wrestling extravaganza.

Sunday

  • Hoarding (TLC, 9pm) Season Premiere – Not to be confused with Hoarders on A&E.
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new and noteworthy tv: 7/26-8/1

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Monday

  • Top Gear (BBCA, 6pm) Season Premiere – A Porsche, a Jaguar, and a Chrysler…
  • Bachelorette (ABC, 8pm) – The men tell all… are the men less catty?

Tuesday

  • Breakthrough with Tony Robbins (NBC, 8pm) Series Premiere – Tony tries to help out folks making changes in their lives.
  • Masterchef (Fox, 9pm) Series Premiere – More wannabe chefs compete to go pro.
  • The Colony (Disc, 10pm) Season Premiere – Another season of real folks who agree to live in a place with a fake viral apocalypse.
  • Growing Up Twisted (A&E, 10/10:30pm) Series Premiere – We tag along with Twister Sister front man Dee and his family.

Wednesday

  • Plain Jane (CW, 9pm) Series Premiere – Will makeovers and dating tips make these ladies confessions of crushes a success?

Thursday

  • Project Runway/On the Road with Austin & Santino (Life, 9/10:30pm) Season/Series Premiere – First another season of competitors and then two former contestants design looks for real life ladies.
  • Jersey Shore (MTV, 10pm) Season Premiere – The gang heads to Miami and I still can’t care.

Friday

  • Say Yes to the Dress: Atlanta (TLC, 9:30pm) Series Premiere – It’s like Say Yes to the Dress, but it’s set in… Atlanta.

Saturday

  • X Games (Various) – Let the games begin… ok so it’s actually starting Thursday and running through Sunday… the X Games head to LA, so check in for lots of hours of coverage on all the ESPNs including: ESPN, ESPN2, ESPN International, ESPN.com\action, ESPN Classic, ESPN3.com, and SportsCenter.

Sunday

  • Rubicon (AMC, 8/9pm) Series Premiere – The latest drama brings some code crackers to our conspiracies.
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new and noteworthy tv: 7/19-7/25

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Monday

  • Do Something Awards (VH1, 9pm) – Jane Lynch hosts the honoring of folks for accomplishments other than celebrity.
  • Rupaul’s Drag U (Logo, 9pm) Series Premiere – What’s better than a Drag Queen to get some ladies to get some style going on.
  • Fabulous Cake (TLC, 10pm) Series Premiere – Start the season by touring three top bakeries in Vegas.

Tuesday

  • I’m Pregnant And… (Health, 9pm) Season Premiere – The season starts off with a woman who has a 50-50 chance of her child being a dwarf.
  • Teen Mom/If You Really Knew Me (MTV, 10/11pm) Season/Series Premiere – Check in with the teen moms and then catch teens that are breaking down the walls between cliques.

Wednesday

  • Confessions: Animal Hoarding (AnPl, 9pm) Series Premiere – A mix of hoarding and animal rescue?
  • Pros vs Joes (Spike, 10pm) Season Premiere – NBA vs NFL in a basketball challenge.

Thursday

  • Time to catch up on some Tour, or perhaps some summer series, or perhaps a good book!

Friday

  • Your Chance to Dance (CMT, 9pm) Series Premiere – Dance baby, dance.
  • The Pillars of the Earch (Starz, 10pm) – This miniseries kicks off with an adaptation of the 1989 book.

Saturday

  • Being Human (BBCA, 10pm) Season Premiere – A werewolf, a vampire, and a ghost… what more could fans want?

Sunday

  • Tour de France (Vs, various) – It’s been a long couple weeks for these guys and it’s put some wear and tear on those watching as well, so let’s see who rides into Paris with the yellow, and white, and green, and polka dot, and of course a final sprint stage win.
  • I Survived… (Bio, 9pm) Season Premiere – This series should probably be hopeful that folks survive but I find it super creepy the things that almost kill them.
  • Mad Men (AMC, 10pm) Season Premiere – I’ve missed too many of these, on my list to check out on dvd.
  • My Boys (TBS, 10pm) Season Premiere – This show looks perfectly pleasant, but what with it starting when my cable was out I’ve never caught an episode.
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new and noteworthy tv: 7/12-7/18

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Monday

  • Scooby-Doo: Mystery Inc (Cart, 7pm) Series Premiere – They’re back, and solving mysteries again.
  • Samantha Brown’s Asia (Trav, 8pm) Series Premiere – First stop Thailand.
  • The Closer/Rizzoli & Isles (TNT, 9/10pm) Season/Series Premiere – Can Angie Harmon and her new crime solving buddy follow the Deputy Chief, so far the critics say no but I’ll give it a shot.
  • Rob Dyrdek’s Fantasy Factory (MTV, 9:30pm) Season Premiere – With a skate board base camp and a budget what will this guy do next?

Tuesday

  • White Collar/Covert Affairs (USA, 9/10pm) Season/Series Premiere – Con artist and FBI agent together again, and then we meet the newest CIA operative as Piper Perabo starts her fieldwork, I’m always game to see if someone can be the new Sydney Bristow.

Wednesday

  • Lucy Must Be Traded (ABC, 8pm) – Who would have guessed the Peanuts gang would have issues playing baseball?
  • Espys (ESPN, 9pm) – Seth Meyers hosts the latest honoring of sports performers.
  • Ghost Hunters International (Syfy, 9pm) Season Premiere – The global gang looks for Robin Hood, you know his ghost.
  • Chasing Mummies (Hist, 10pm) Series Premiere – Following an archaeologist, like Indiana Jones I’m sure.
  • Psych (USA, 10pm) Season Premiere – The fake psychic and his sidekick are solving crimes for another season.

Thursday

  • Mary Knows Best (Syfy, 9pm) Series Premiere – What professional are we not following with a reality series? Psychic.

Friday

  • The Jensen Project (NBC, 8pm) – A family from a secret genius society tries to thwart evil, this looks like either a made for tv movie or a series that wasn’t picked up.
  • Man, Woman, Wild (Disc, 9pm) Series Premiere – A couple faces dangers like snakes in the amazon.
  • DC Cupcakes (TLC, 10pm) Series Premiere – Isn’t there already a cupcake baking reality series?

Saturday

  • Celebrity Ghost Stories/My Ghost Story (Bio, 9/10pm) Season/Series Premiere – ‘Famous’ and not famous folks share their stories of ghosts.
  • Pit Boss (AnPl, 10pm) Season Premiere – The dog savers are back.

Sunday

  • 24 Hour Restaurant Battle (Food, 10pm) Series Premiere – Competing by opening a restaurant in 24 hours.
  • Strange Sex (TLC, 10/10:30pm) Season Premiere – It’s what it sounds like, a series about sex, first stop older women, younger men, then a woman thinking herself into her own climactic moment.
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new and noteworthy tv: 7/5-7/11

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Monday

  • The Bachelorette (ABC, 8pm) – I saw a promo and Vienna cries so the breakup talk must be serious.
  • Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations (Trav, 10pm) Season Premiere – Tasting travels.

Tuesday

  • Warehouse 13 (Syfy, 9pm) Season Premiere – Supernatural artifacts can be trouble in the wrong hands.
  • Primetime (ABC, 10pm) Season Premiere – Family secrets.

Wednesday

  • Come Dine With Me/The Choir (BBCA, 9/10pm) Series Premieres – A competition to see who is the hostess with the mostess, or something, and then it’s like Glee but real.

Thursday

  • Big Brother (CBS, 8pm) Season Premiere – I still can’t believe this show is still going.

Friday

  • Eureka/Haven (Syfy, 9/10pm) Season/Series Premiere – The quirky characters take their science to the next level and the sheriff who tries to keep them all in check, and then a new supernatural FBI agent series based on King’s Colorado Kid.

Saturday

  • The Bridge (CBS, 8pm) Series Premiere – I haven’t heard anything about this latest crime series, oh except it’s Canadian, I’ll check out an ep.
  • How Do I Look? (Style, 8pm) Season Premiere – The Jersey styling continues, or un-Jersey styling in this instance.

Sunday

  • Ochocinco/The TO Show (VH1, 9/10:30pm) Series/Season Premiere – Some guy from sports and Dancing with the Stars looks for love and then some sports guys deals with sports guy things.
  • The Glades (A&E, 10pm) Series Premiere – A Chicago cop is exiled to Florida, who knows which is the cop drama that’ll stick.
  • Children’s Hospital (Adult Swim, 10:30pm) Series Premiere – This Rob Corddry created web series is getting a run on cable including some new episodes, now I need to find out if I get AdultSwim.
  • Kid in a Candy Store (Food, 10:30pm) Series Premiere – A look at sweets wherever they may be.
  • Russel Simmons Presents: Stand-Up at the El Rey (Com, 11;30pm) Series Premiere – Comedy showcase.
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