tv

new and noteworthy tv: 3/4-3/10

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boyscout

Monday

  • Are You Tougher Than a Boyscout (NGC, 8pm) Series Premiere – Challenges based on the handbook.
  • LA Shrinks (Brav, 10pm) Series Premiere – A psychologist, a therapist, and a life consultant walk into a reality show…
  • The World of Jenks (MTV, 11pm) Season Premiere – Documentarian takes a look at stuff.

Tuesday

  • Treasure Detectives/The Car Chasers (CNBC, 9/10pm) Series Premieres – Is the treasure genuine, and will the car be a treasure?

Wednesday

  • Haunted Collector (Syfy, 9pm) Season Premiere – Stalkers and spirits.
  • Rachel Zoe Project/It’s a Brad, Brad World/Dukes of Melrose (Brav, 10/10:30pm) Season/Series Premieres – Style, style, and boutique owners.

Thursday

  • Battleground (AnPl, 9pm) Minseries Premiere – Rhino wars start.

Friday

  • Fashion Star (NBC, 8pm) Season Premiere – Aspiring designers return to woo Jessica Simpson, Nicole Richie and John Varvatos.
  • Say Yes to the Dress (TLC, 9pm) Season Premiere – Wedding white.

Sunday

  • You Live in What? (HGTV, 8pm) Season Premiere – I’ve always wanted to live in a firehouse or a lighthouse.
  • Army Wives/The Client List (Life, 9/10pm) Season Premieres – This show is apparently still on and this show was apparently renewed.

The procrastinator lists items that may not be on your regular season pass, though notation does not imply recommendation other than those underlined. Times noted are typically PST.

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new and noteworthy tv: 2/25-3/3

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goldenboy

Monday

  • Burning Love/After Lately (E!, 10/10:30pm) Series/Season Premiere – If you haven’t caught this Bachelor spoof online it garners a laugh and then more Chelsea.

Tuesday

  • Celebrity Wife Swap (ABC, 8pm) Season Premiere – Child services may need to be called when Kate Gosselin and Kendra Wilkinson swap places.
  • Parade’s End (HBO, 9pm) Miniseries Premiere – Five part adaptation of Ford Madox Ford’s novels set in early 20th century.
  • Golden Boy (CBS, 10pm) Series Premiere – Following past and future story lines as our fresh detective makes his way to police commissioner, worth a look.
  • Robot Combat League (Syfy, 10pm) Series Premiere – I think there was a movie like this with Wolverine where people fight using giant robots.

Wednesday

  • Boston’s Finest (TNT, 9pm) Series Premiere – Reality cop show.
  • Rescue My Renovation (DIY, 9pm) Series Premiere – Unqualified contractor?
  • Duck Dynasty (A&E, 10pm) Season Premiere – More reality duck-style.
  • Psych (USA, 10pm) Season Premiere – More fake psychic detecting.
  • Stranded (Syfy, 10pm) Series Premiere – Real peeps left in haunted locations.

Thursday

  • The Ben Show/Nathan for You (Com, 10/10:30pm) Series Premieres – Sketches and then comedic marketing advice.

Friday/Saturday

  • Catch up or leave the house?

Sunday

  • The Bible/Vikings (Hist, 8/10pm) Series Premieres – In the beginning and viking action.
  • The Celebrity Apprentice (NBC, 9pm) Season Premiere – Returning ‘celebrities.’
  • Red Widow (ABC, 9pm) Series Premiere – Death of a husband causes a woman to dive back into the gangster underworld, this looks dumb but I’ll give it a look.
  • Oprah’s Master Class (OWN, 10pm) Season Premiere – Alicia Keys.
  • Welcome to Myrtle Manor (TLC, 10pm) Series Premiere – Reality trailer park style.

The procrastinator lists items that may not be on your regular season pass, though notation does not imply recommendation other than those underlined. Times noted are typically PST.

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tv

new and noteworthy tv: 2/18-2/24

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85th-OSCAR

I gotta get my Oscar ballot in…

Monday

  • Fast n’ Loud/The Devils Ride (Disc, 9pm) Season Premieres – Cars and clubs. 
  • La La’s Full Court Life (VH1, 10pm) Season Premiere – Let’s go to the summer Olympics, again.
  • Teen Mom 2 (MTV, 10pm) Season Premiere – Pregnant again?

Tuesday

  • Cult (CW, 9pm) Series Premiere – I don’t have high hopes for this TV show within a show about cults investigating crimes, though that won’t stop me from watching. 
  • Body of Proof (ABC, 10pm) Season Premiere – I didn’t know this show was still on, but it’s back.
  • Ultimate Soldier Challenge (Hist, 10pm) Series Premiere – Combat challenges.
  • The Jeselnik Offensive (Com, 10:30pm) Series Premiere – More comedian mocking.

Wednesday

  • Weed Country (Disc, 10pm) Series Premiere – Another oddly seemingly not legal show. 

Thursday

  • Auction Kings (Disc, 9pm) Season Premiere – Pick-off special.
  • American Greed (CNBC, 10pm) Season Premiere – Madoff behind bars.

Friday

  • Yukon Men (Disc, 10pm) Season Premiere – Feast or famine. 
  • Out There (IFC, 10:30pm) Series Premiere – Teen angst come to life in an animated monster form.

Saturday

  • Joan & Melissa (WE, 9pm) Season Premiere – Does Joan still know best?
  • Renovation Realities (DIY, 9pm) Season Premiere – Fix ups and the real world.
  • Independent Spirit Awards (IFC, 10pm) – Andy Samberg hosts.

Sunday

  • The Academy Awards (ABC, 8:30pm) – May the red carpet reviews and Oscar pools begin!
  • A Bryk at a Time (DIY, 9pm) Series Premiere – Design project delays.

The procrastinator lists items that may not be on your regular season pass, though notation does not imply recommendation other than those underlined. Times noted are typically PST.

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tv

new and noteworthy tv: 2/11-2/17

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southland-18

Monday

  • Bizarre Foods America (Trav, 9pm) Season Premiere – Blackened snakehead sammie, yum.
  • Bang Goes the Theory (BBCA, 10:20pm) Series Premiere – Sciency stunts and innovations.
  • Inside Comedy (Show, 11pm) Season Premiere – Louis CK kicks off the season.

Tuesday

  • The Face (Oxy, 9pm) Series Premiere – For those who just can’t smize anymore, follow Nigel Barker to another model/panel program, I can’t take ANTM, why do I feel compelled to check this out? 

Wednesday

  • Survivor (CBS, 8pm) Season Premiere – Fans vs. favorites.
  • Hoarding/My Strangest Addiction (TLC, 9/10pm) Season Premieres – More looking at the people who make me feel super clean and normal.
  • Southland (TNT, 10pm) Season Premiere – More cop drama, this one’s a good one.

Thursday

  • Zero Hour (ABC, 8pm) Series Premiere – I think this is kind of like National Treasure Da Vinci Code kind of series, worth a watch. 
  • Swamp People/Big Rig Bounty Hunters (Hist, 9/10pm) Season/Series Premieres – People in the swamp and then tacking down missing trucks.
  • Freakshow/Immortalized (AMC, 9:30/10pm) Series Premieres – A look at Venice Beach Freakshow and then taxidermi-rastic.
  • Ridiculousness/Failosophy (MTV, 10/10:30pm) Season/Series Premieres – Pauly D breaks down viral videos and then comedians mock web fails.

Friday

  • Spontaneous Construction (HGTV, 8pm) Series Premiere – Flash mobs and renovation go hand in hand. 

Saturday

  • Wendell & Vinnie (Nick, 8:30pm) Series Premiere – Adapting to a new guardian sitcom-style. 

Sunday

  • The Amazing Race (CBS, 8pm) Season Premiere – The race is on!

The procrastinator lists items that may not be on your regular season pass, though notation does not imply recommendation other than those underlined. Times noted are typically PST.

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tv

new and noteworthy tv: 2/4-2/10

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community-season-4-dan-harmon

Monday

  • Rules of Engagement (CBS, 8:30pm) Season Premiere – What, this show’s still on?
  • Monday Mornings (TNT, 10pm) Series Premiere – Medical melodrama with a dash of ridiculous, I’ll check at least one.

Tuesday

  • Betty White’s 2nd Annual 90th Birthday Special (NBC, 8pm) – Blow those candles.
  • Smash (NBC, 9pm) Season Premiere – Taking it to Broadway.
  • Tosh.0 (Com, 10pm) Season Premiere – Shouldn’t this be like Tosh.4 by now?

Wednesday

  • American Idol (Fox, 8pm) The Hollywood rounds start, might I take a peek?

Thursday

  • Community (NBC, 8pm) Season Premiere – Will the new showrunner keep that special something?
  • Brand X With Russell Brand (FX, 11:30pm) Season Premiere – More Russell.

Friday

  • The Job (CBS, 8pm) Series Premiere – Compete for a job.
  • Touch (Fox, 8pm) Season Premiere – Kiefer keeps following his son.
  • Something Borrowed, Something New (TLC, 10pm) Series Premiere – Wedding it up.
  • The Jenny McCarthy Show (VH1, 10:30pm) Series Premiere – Why did I think she was going to OWN?

Saturday

  • Be My Valentine, Charlie Brown (ABC, 8pm) – St. Valentine’s festivities.
  • Oddities/Odd Folks Home (Sci, 9/9:30) Season/Series Premieres – A shop of oddities and then a trip to some of the folk’s houses. 

Sunday

  • The Grammy Awards (CBS, 8pm) – Sing it. 
  • SNL in the ’80s (NBC, 9pm) – Lost and found.
  • Battlestar Gallactica: Blood & Chrome (Syfy, 9pm) – What happened when Adama was a youth? for those of you who missed this online.
  • Gypsy Sisters (TLC, 9pm) Series Premiere – Life with a gypsy family in West Virginia.
  • Snapped (Oxy, 9pm) Season Premiere – Sometimes I think I might snap.

The procrastinator lists items that may not be on your regular season pass, though notation does not imply recommendation other than those underlined. Times noted are typically PST.

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tv

new and noteworthy tv: 1/28-2/3

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superbowl

Mostly just resting up for the Super Bowl…

Monday

  • Jerseylicious/Built (Sty, 8/9pm) Season/Series Premieres – More Jersey hijinks and then if you need a handyman who is also a male model these guys are for you, first a closet makeover.
  • Dallas (TNT, 9pm) Season Premiere – The second season returns with more Ewing battles, and the curiosity as to how they’ll deal with Hagman’s death.

Tuesday

  • Income Property (HGTV, 9pm) Season Premiere – I find purchasing houses depressing.
  • Starter Wives Confidential (TLC, 9pm) Series Premiere – The latest reality brings ex wives and girlfriends of ‘celebrities’ into the mix.
  • Top Gear (Hist, 9pm) Season Premiere – Road trip!
  • RuPaul’s Drag Race (VH1, 10pm) Season Premiere – Underwater photo shoot.
  • Southie Rules (A&E, 10pm) Series Premiere – More reality, something about money making schemes with a family in Boston.
  • Nikki & Sara Live (MTV, 11pm) Series Premiere – Comedy series with sketches and celebrities and whatever.

Wednesday

  • Super Bowl’s Greatest Commercials (CBS, 8pm) – Viewers have voted.
  • Auction Hunters/Savage Family Diggers (Spike, 9/10pm) Season Premieres – Selling stuff, finding stuff.
  • The Americans (Fx, 10pm) Series Premiere – Felicity meets Alias, ok not really but sort of, when Keri Russell returns to tv as a Russian spy.

Thursday

  • 30 Rock/Do No Harm (NBC, 8/10pm) Series Finale/Premiere – Say goodbye to Liz and friends and hello to renowned neurosurgeon with a problematic alternate personality.
  • Chef Wanted with Anne Burrell (Food, 10pm) Season Premiere – Looking for an executive chef, who will cut it?

Friday

  • NAACP Awards (NBC, 8pm) – Recognize.

Saturday

  • 49ers Super Bowl Preview (NBC, 9pm) – Go niners.

Sunday

  • Super Bowl/A Super Night on the New Bay Bridge (CBS, 3:25/8pm) – Go niners then highlights and a look at the bridge.

The procrastinator lists items that may not be on your regular season pass, though notation does not imply recommendation other than those underlined. Times noted are typically PST.

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tv

new and noteworthy tv: 1/21-1/27

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thefollowing

Monday

  • The Following (Fox, 9pm) Series Premiere – Ready to check out more degrees of Kevin Bacon as he plays a former FBI guy pulled back in by the pursuit of a killer he once captured.
  • Lizard Lick Towing/Swamp Hunters (Tru, 10/10:30pm) Season/Series Premieres – Was selling a bad idea, and the a family searches the swamps for relics.

Tuesday

  • The Taste (ABC, 8/10pm) Series Premiere – Another food competition, this one has Anthony Bourdain and Nigella Lawson.
  • The Ultimate Fighter (Fx, 8pm) Season Premiere – Team Jones vs. Team Sonnen.
  • Edge of America (Trav, 9pm) Series Premiere – Geoff Edgers travels the US for unusual fun.
  • Ramsay Behind Bars (BBCA, 9pm) Series Premiere – Ramsay teaches inmates how to cook in a London prison.

Wednesday

  • Big Rich Atlanta/Kimora (Style, 8/9pm) Series Premieres – Atlanta relationship reality and then watching Kimora Lee Simmons talke the helm of JustFab fashion co.

Thursday

  • Winter X Games (ESPN, various) – The winter variety of the games kicks off in Aspen.
  • Project Runway (Life, 8/9pm) Season Premiere – After a road to the runway, they’re back, though apparently without Kors this time, and this season being a ‘team’ format doesn’t promise for everyone getting along.

Friday

  • Spartacus (Starz, 9pm) Season Premiere – Looks like this is the final season.

Saturday

  • Australian Open (ESPN2, 12am, various) – If you haven’t figured out what the time difference with Australia is you can give up by now, both men’s and women’s finals seem to be on at 12am, on the only grand slam not on network television.
  • My Big Redneck Vacation/Swamp Pawn (CMT, 9/10pm) Season/Series Premieres – Hitting Florida beaches and then selling stuff from the swamp.

Sunday

  • Screen Actors Guild Award (TNT, 7pm) – Honoring performances.
  • The Vanilla Ice Project (DIY, 10pm) Season Premiere – Ice, ice, baby.

The procrastinator lists items that may not be on your regular season pass, though notation does not imply recommendation other than those underlined. Times noted are typically PST.

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tv

new and noteworthy tv: 1/14-1/20

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the-carrie-diaries-ftr

Of course my daytimes book up right when the Australian Open gets going…

Monday

  • Australian Open (ESPN2, various) – Happy tennis down under.
  • The Carrie Diaries (CW, 8pm) Series Premiere – If I ignore the Sex and the City and Carrie Bradshaw references I am inclined to have hope for an 80s girl origin story.
  • Continuum/Being Human/Lost Girl (Syfy, 8/9pm) Series/Season Premieres – I’m less inclined to be interested in terrorists that escape their execution in 2077 by traveling back in time, but find both the return of the ghost, the vampire, the werewolf, and then the succubus to be good if not somewhat campy fun.
  • Extreme Smuggling/Shipwreck Men (Disc, 8/9pm) Series Premieres – Smuggling techniques and maritime salvage.

Tuesday

  • The Bad Girls Club (Oxy, 8pm) Season Premiere – New bad girls invade Atlanta.
  • Pioneers of Television (PBS, 8pm) Season Premiere – Ryan Seacrest hosts starting with a look at funny women.
  • Face Off (Syfy, 9pm) Season Premiere – Competing makeup artists.
  • Real Husbands of Hollywood/Second Generation Wayans (BET, 10:30pm) Series Premieres – Semi scripted ‘reality’ husbands and then Damien Dante and Craig Wayans give their take on funny.

Wednesday

  • American Idol (Fox, 8pm) Season Premiere – I won’t do it, I won’t watch, I’m out.
  • Ghost Mine (Syfy, 10pm) Series Premiere – Really, a ghost show focusing on mines?
  • Workaholics/Kroll Show (Com, 10/10:30pm) Season/Series Premieres – The guys try to be funy and then Nick Kroll from The League takes on all kinds of characters in this new sketch show.

Thursday

  • Anger Management/Archer (Fx, 9/10pm) Season Premieres – Charlie’s back and then a comedic animated spy business is back.
  • Bellator MMA Live (Spike, 10pm) Series Premiere – Pat Curran and Patricio ‘Pitbull’ Freire fight.
  • King of the Nerds (TBS, 10pm) Series Premiere – Who’s going to be top nerd?
  • Legit/Totally Biased w. Kamau Bell (Fx, 10:30/11pm) Series/Season Premieres – Series following a crass comedian and then comedian and then comedic insights.

Friday

  • Best Week Ever (VH1, 10pm) Series Premiere – What’s going on this week?
  • Real Time with Bill Maher (HBO, 10pm) Season Premiere – More Bill.

Saturday

  • A Idiot Abroad/Stuff You Should Know (Sci, 9/10pm) Season/Series Premieres – More travel mocking and then a new mockumentary series.
  • Ripper Street/Wild Things with Dominic Monaghan (BBCA, 9/10:15pm) Series Premiere – Old London murders and new dangerous creatures.

Sunday

  • Kourtney & Kim Take Miami/Chasing the Saturdays (E!, 9/10pm) Season/Series Premieres – Girls I don’t care about followed by a girl band I don’t care about.

The procrastinator lists items that may not be on your regular season pass, though notation does not imply recommendation other than those underlined. Times noted are typically PST.

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new and noteworthy tv: 1/7-1/13

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COUGAR-TOWN-e1336678178291

Post holidays, we’re getting back in business…

Monday

  • The Bachelor (ABC, 8pm) Season Premiere – Sean meets the women.
  • Antiques Roadshow (PBS, 8pm) Season Premiere – A million dollar discovery is made.
  • Love & Hip Hop/Black Ink Crew (VH1, 8/9pm) Season/Series Premieres – Relationships and a new tattoo crew.
  • Switched at Birth (ABCF, 8pm) Season Premiere – The daughters of these not related families continue their drama.
  • Deception (NBC, 10pm) Series Premiere – Police officer investigates the death of a childhood friend, looks Revenge-ish and will probably be dumb but worth a shot.
  • The Staircase (Sund, 10pm) Series Premiere – Found dead at the bottom of the staircase, did the husband do it?
  • Trouble Next Door (Own, 10pm) Season Premiere – Series documenting families in crisis.

Tuesday

  • Cougar Town (TBS, 10pm) Season Premiere – It’s back, don’t forget to change your season pass to TBS to catch this gang, their wining, and their whining.
  • Justified (Fx, 10pm) Season Premiere – Season pass already set.
  • Africa (Disc, 10pm) Series Premiere – It’s about Africa?
  • Frontline (PBS, 10pm) Season Premiere – Starting with Michelle Rhee as chancellor of DC public schools.
  • The Joe Schmo Show (Spike, 10pm) Season Premiere – More fake reality show.
  • America’s Supernanny (Life, 10pm) Season Premiere – Getting control of the kids.
  • Snookie & JWoww (MTV, 10pm) Season Premiere – Can’t wait for parenthood.
  • The Burn with Jeff Ross (Com, 10:30pm) Season Premiere – More guests.
  • Scoring the Deal (HGTV, 11pm) Series Premiere – Real estate wheelings and dealings.

Wednesday

  • Stars in Danger: The High Dive (Fox, 8pm) – Celebrities learn how to flip it, you know, without the splash.
  • People’s Choice Awards (CBS, 9pm) – What do the people know anyhow?
  • Property Brothers (HGTV, 9pm) Season Premiere – Twin real estaters help folks fix ’em up.
  • Washington Heights (MTV, 10pm) Series Premiere – In case there are more ‘real’ people you want to get to know.
  • Barter Kings (A&E, 10pm) Season Premiere – Bartering snakes.

Thursday

  • Critic’s Choice Movie Awards (CW, 8pm) – I am mildly curious as to what the critics might say.
  • The Millionaire Matchmaker (Brav, 9pm) Season Premiere – More love to be found for the wealthy.
  • Kathy (Brav, 10pm) Season Premiere – Guests Liza and Jane Lynch.
  • Rehab Addict (DIY, 10pm) Season Premiere – Home rehab that is.

Friday

  • Banshee (Cin, 10pm) Series Premiere – Ex-con and master thief assumes the identity of a sheriff, curious if I got Cinemax.
  • Out There (IFC, 10:30pm) Series Premiere – Animated 15-year old’s misadventures.

Saturday

  • Miss America (ABC, 9pm) – Women walk the walk and talk the talk.
  • Cyndi Lauper: Still So Unusual (We, 9pm) Series Premiere – Unusual, uninteresting.
  • Staten Island Law (OWN, 9pm) Series Premiere – The reality of mediation.

Sunday

  • Australian Open (ESPN2, 3:30pm, and various) – First round!
  • Golden Globe Awards (NBC, 7/8pm) – Arrivals and then Tina Fey and Amy Poehler host.
  • Girls/Enlightened (HBO, 9/9:30pm) Season Premieres – Laura Dern and Lena Dunham return.
  • Shameless/House of Lies/Californication (Show, 9/10/10:30pm) Season Premieres – As do the people in these shows.
  • Pete Rose (TLC, 10pm) Series Premiere – Pete’s getting married.

The procrastinator lists items that may not be on your regular season pass, though notation does not imply recommendation other than those underlined. Times noted are typically PST.

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new and noteworthy tv: 12/31-1/6

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Ryan-Seacrest-Dick-Clark

Monday

  • Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve (ABC, 8/10pm) – A tribute to Dick and then the countdown.
  • New Year’s Eve with Carson Daly (NBC, 10pm) – Counting down…
  • New Year’s Eve (Fox, 11pm) – Starting the count a bit later…

Tuesday

  • Rose Parade (Various, 8am) – The Tournament marches on.
  • Totally T-Boz/The Sisterhood (TLC, 8/9pm) Series Premieres – T-Boz goes solo and wives of preachers.
  • Dance Moms (Life, 9pm) Season Premiere – Back to the routines.
  • Dual Survival (Disc, 9pm) Season Premiere – Battling in Atacama Desert.
  • Hawaii Life (HGTV, 9:30pm) Series Premiere – Hawaiian real estate.
  • Storage Wars New York (A&E, 10pm) Series Premiere – Because we needed another Storage Wars.
  • Double Divas (Life, 10:30pm) Series Premiere – Because bra fitting deserves an entire series.

Wednesday

  • Cousins on Call (HGTV, 8pm) Series Premiere – Cousin contractors build.
  • Nova (PBS, 9pm) Season Premiere – Volcanic eruptions in Iceland.

Thursday

  • Buck Wild (MTV, 10pm) Series Premiere – A group of West Virginia friends. 
  • Lost and Found (OWN, 10pm) Series Premiere – Reuniting items and people that were missing.
  • What Not to Wear (TLC, 10pm) Season Premiere – 1980s pop singer Tiffany looks for a new look.

Friday

  • Need to Know (PBS, 8:30pm) Season Premiere – What do I need to know?
  • True Justice (Reelz, 9pm) Season Premiere – What happens after the attack on the precinct.
  • Merlin (Syfy, 10pm) Season Premiere – Arthur’s Bane.
  • Portlandia (IFC, 10pm) Season Premiere – More random skits and whatnot.
  • Say Yes to the Dress (TLC, 10pm) Season Premiere – I see lots of white.
  • Made in Milwaukee (DIY, 11pm) Series Premiere – Home transformations.

Saturday

  • Pit Boss/Pit Bulls & Parolees (AnPl, 9/10pm) Season Premieres – While the boss is away and then former prisoners help with the rescues.
  • Cesar Millan’s Leader of the Pack (NatGeo, 10pm) Series Premiere – Finding the right rescue.
  • NY ER (Health, 10pm) Series Premiere – Following some of the doctors and nurses on NY Med.

Sunday

  • Mob Wives/Making Mr Right (VH1, 8/9pm) Season/Series Premiere – Is someone targeting a wife and then matchmaking.
  • The Biggest Loser (NBC, 9pm) Season Premiere – Jillian returns.
  • Downton Abbey (PBS, 9pm) Season Premiere – It continues at the abbey.
  • Rachael vs. Guy Celebrity Cook-Off (Food, 9pm) Season Premiere – The teams are picked.
  • Watch What Happens Live (Brav, 11pm) Season Premiere – Andy Cohen continues.

The procrastinator lists items that may not be on your regular season pass, though notation does not imply recommendation other than those underlined. Times noted are typically PST.

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