tv

next week 6/15

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New and notable in the week ahead… procrastinator picks are underlined.

Monday

  • DJ & the Fro (MTV, 5pm) Series Premiere – Are animated slackers watching viral videos more amusing than real life people doing the same?
  • Greek (ABCFam, 8pm) Season Finale – Cappie or Max? There’s really no question…
  • Run’s House (MTV, 10pm) Season Premiere – The family takes a Hawaiian vacation.

Tuesday

  • CMT Music Awards (CMT, 8pm) – Bill Engvall hosts this year’s awards show, tune in for Taylor Swift, and some other country artists.
  • Wedding Day (TNT, 8pm) Series Premiere – Real life weddings with no apparent twists.
  • The First 48 (A&E, 9pm) Season Premiere
  • HawthoRNe (TNT, 9pm) Series Premiere – Jada Pinkett Smith and Michael Vartan make this medical drama worth tuning into at least once.
  • The Lazy Environmentalist (Sund, 9pm) Series Premiere – They show us it’s easy being green.
  • Saving Grace (TNT, 10pm) Season Premiere – More answers this season or just more questions as Grace goes to the purple door.
  • The Singing Bee (CMT, 10:30pm) Season Premiere – Expectations may be a little higher as this follows the CMT Awards.

Wednesday

  • The Othersiders/Survive This (Cart, 8/8:30pm) Series Premiere – Paranormal investigations and survival skills.
  • Gordon Ramsay’s F Word (BBCA, 9pm) Season Premiere – Gordon Ramsay is back.
  • I Survived a Japanese Game Show (ABC, 9pm) Season Premiere – Really, this is back?
  • The Unusuals (ABC, 10pm) Series Finale – This quirky ensemble cop show deserved another season.

Thursday

  • NBA Basketball (ABC, 6pm) – Could it go to Game 7 with the Magic and the Lakers?

Friday

  • Jeffrey and Cole Casserole (Logo, 11pm) Series Premiere – Another sketch and look at viral videos, and this time with a gay old slant.

Saturday

  • Brainrush/Destroy Build Destroy (Cart, 8/8:30pm) Series Premieres – Trivia in rollercoaster conditions and then making something from the debris of what’s been destroyed.
  • Can You Duet (CMT, 8pm) Season Premiere – The open auditions begin.
  • Eli Stone (ABC, 10pm) – I don’t actually remember where we left off with Eli, his visions, and his law firm.

Sunday

  • Just for Laughs (ABC, 7pm) Season Premiere – More awkward setups for some chuckles.
  • Merlin (NBC, 8pm) Series Premiere – A look back when Merlin and the Prince were young and hot and magic was outlawed, Giles from Buffy is in this so I’ll give it a look.
  • Guys Choice (Spike, 10pm) – One thinks that guys make some sort of choice.
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tv

next week 6/1

1 Comment

New and notable in the week ahead… procrastinator picks are underlined.

Monday

  • I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here (NBC, 8pm) Season Premiere – Well the term celebrity is once again being loosely applied, with folks like Janice Dickinson, Sanjaya, and a lesser Baldwin, among others, will folks tune in to vote them off? 
  • Medium (NBC, 10pm) Season Finale – This is Medium’s last night on NBC but CBS has picked Allison up for another year of visions.
  • The Tonight Show (NBC, 11:35pm) – Conan takes the reins…

Tuesday

  • According to Jim (ABC, 8/8:30pm) Season Finale – I wasn’t sure this show was still on, though apparently this season is its last.
  • Earth 2100 (ABC, 9pm) – Bob Woodruff reports on where things could be going.
  • Inside the Obama White House (Tues/Wed, NBC, 9pm) – Brian Williams kicks it and shows us some dish.
  • Law & Order: SVU (NBC, 10pm) Season Finale – The negotiations continue with Benson and Stabler but regardless next year the show will go on.
  • Man vs. Wild (Disc, 10pm) – Will Ferrell joins for a real life adventure through the frosty wild, but reportedly does not drink his own urine.
  • Paris Hilton’s My New BFF (MTV, 10pm) Season Premiere – I guess last year’s winner isn’t her BFF anymore, maybe she is hanging with Nichole Ritchie.

Wednesday

  • Law & Order (NBC, 10pm) Season Finale – Are these stories still ripped from the headlines, if so watch out for charity folks.

Thursday

  • Jimmy Kimmel Live/NBA Countdown/Finals Game (ABC, 6pm) – We kick off the finals with some Kimmel and some basketball, Kimmel starts before in the East and after in the West.
  • Burn Notice (USA, 9pm) Season Premiere – Will Michael’s life improve now that the people who burned him are going to leave him alone, I doubt it, and catch up on the earlier shows marathon-style starting with the pilot Tues at 6am.
  • The Listener (NBC, 9/10pm) Series Premiere – If a paramedic can hear your thoughts would he be entertaining?
  • Royal Pains (USA, 10pm) Series Premiere – Brothers hit the Hamptons, one becomes a reluctant concierge Dr and the other is trying to make him less reluctant.
  • Tosh.0 (Com, 10pm) Series Premiere – Comedian Daniel Tosh riffs on crap you find on the web.

Friday

  • Privileged (CW, 8pm) – The show may not go on but you can watch season one again, or catch it for the first time.
  • Ghost Adventures (Trav, 9pm) Season Premiere – Not so much ghostbusters as wananabe ghost recorders.
  • Whale Wars (AnPl, 9pm) Season Premiere – Another season of folks in a boat trying to protect whales.

Saturday

  • Tennis (Fri, Sat, Sun, 7/6am) – Catch the French Open finals this weekend, following more weekday play, to see if Serena can take number 1 from Safina and if Roger can triumph over Nadal on his best surface.
  • Game Show Awards (GSN, 8pm) – Isn’t winning a game show award enough?

Sunday

  • Tony Awards (CBS, 8pm) – Neil Patrick Harris hosts this year’s best of Broadway.
  • Bridezillas/Amazing Wedding Cakes (WE, 9/10pm) Season Premieres – More real life wedding drama.
  • Gene Simmons Family Jewels (A&E, 9pm) Season Premiere – Can a girl get a simple sweet sixteen party on this reality drama.
  • Brooke Knows Best (VH1, 10/10:30pm) Season Premiere – This one is the daughter of Hulk Hogan.
  • Army Wives (Life, 10pm) Season Premiere – The ladies are back for another season of drama.
  • Kendra/Denise Richards (E!, 10/11pm) – More reality for the former playmate and the ‘actress’.
  • Z Rock/Ideal (IFC, 11/11:30pm) Season/Series Premiere – Clearly there need to be even more reality shows.
  • Next Food Network Star (Food, 9pm) Season Premiere – Who will be the next Martha Stewart, or at least the next whoever won last season.

* Times noted are PST.

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tv

next week 5/25

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New and notable in the week ahead… procrastinator picks are underlined.

Monday

  • Intervention/Obsessed (A&E, 9pm) Season/Series Premiere – Returning real life interventions are followed by a look at folks with extreme anxiety disorders.
  • John & Kate Plus 8/Cake Boss (TLC, 9pm) Season/Series Premiere – Tabloid mags showing possible infidelity are bringing these folks that much more notoriety and then a little more reality as we follow a baker.
  • Here Come the Newlyweds (ABC, 10pm) Season Premiere – Real life couples live in a house and compete in challenges as a pair is kicked out each week.
  • In Treatment (HBO, 10pm) Season Finale – How’s the therapy going?

Tuesday

  • Tv’s Funniest Phrases (NBC, 8pm) – I should use a clever catchphrase here…
  • Reaper (CW, 8pm) Season Finale – Well Reaper won’t be back next year so enjoy Sam’s final bout with the devil.
  • Hitched or Ditched (CW, 9pm) Series Premiere – Plan a wedding in a week, then decide whether you want to get married.
  • I Didn’t Know I was Pregnant (Health, 9pm) Series Premiere – This docuseries looks at a new case each week.
  • Mental (Fox, 9pm, repeats Friday) Series Premiere – This latest series about a rebellious guy brings us in with the new psychiatric director of a hospital.
  • Science of the Movies (Sci, 9pm) Series Premiere – A look at specific movie scenes.
  • The Little Couple (TLC, 10/10:30pm) Series Premiere – Follow newlyweds who are under four feet tall.
  • Tori & Dean (Oxy, 10pm) Season Premiere – More of the real Donna Martin and her hubby.
  • Beautiful People (Logo, 10:30pm) Series Premiere – UK dramedy following a show tunes loving kid.

Wednesday

  • George Strait (CBS, 8pm) – Some country folks honor this Artist of the Decade.
  • Wipeout (ABC, 8pm) Season Premiere – The game show where the people fall while competing on strange obstacles.
  • Dog the Bounty Hunter (A&E, 9pm) Season Premiere – Back to hunting fugitives.
  • The Goode Family (ABC, 9pm) Series Premiere – King of the Hill may not be coming back but here’s another animated series from its creator showing a politically correct family.
  • Your Worst Animal Nightmares (AnPl, 9pm) Series Premiere – I have a lot of animal nightmares.
  • Tattoo Highway (A&E, 10pm) Series Premiere – Take a ride on the tour bus tattoo parlor.
  • Tyler Perry’s Meet the Browns (TBS, 10pm) Season Premiere – Following Tyler Perry’s House of Payne we meet a new family.

Thursday

  • Scripps National Spelling Bee (ABC, 8pm) – Let the spelling begin, or continue, or finish…
  • Surfing (ESPN2, 10:30pm) – Billabong XXL Big Wave Challenge.

Friday

  • Un-Broke: What You Need to Know About Money (ABC, 9pm) – I’m going to say spend less, save more, still contribute to retirement…
  • What Not to Wear (TLC, 9pm) Season Premiere – The season kicks off with Blossom.

Saturday

  • French Open (Sat/Sun, NBC, 10:30am/noon) – Men’s and Women’s third and fourth rounds follow a week of ESPN2 coverage.  
  • Pushing Daisies (ABC, 10pm) – This delightful show was canceled but there were a couple more unaired eps.

Sunday

  • Ice Road Truckers (Hist, 9pm) Season Premiere – New routes, new truckers.
  • MTV Movie Awards (MTV, 9pm) – Andy Samberg hosts this year with lots of noms for Twilight and Slumdog.
  • Breaking Bad (AMC, 10pm) Season Finale – I’m behind so I don’t know what sort of mess Walt is into now.
  • $250,000 Challenge (HGTV, 10pm) Series Premiere – A neighborhood competes in design challenges.
  • Jesse James is a Dead Man (Spike, 10pm) Series Premiere – This guy does action stuff that I suppose could kill him.
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tv

next week 3/23

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New and notable in the week ahead… procrastinator picks are underlined.

Monday

  • Roommates (ABCFam, 9pm) Series Premiere – A new roomie moves in to the NYC apartment to follow an old crush.
  • Sophie (ABCFam, 9:30pm) Series Premiere – Is a ‘sucky year’ for this single mom talent manager funny, or not?
  • Table for 12 (TLC, 10/10:30pm) Series Premiere – For those who are a fan of John & Kate plus 8, these folks have upped the game to 2 plus 10.

Tuesday

  • Presidential Address (Mult Networks, 8pm) – Obama is back for more.
  • College Hill (BET, 7/7:30pm) Season Premiere – We’re back with these real life eight college kids in South Beach.
  • NCIS/The Mentalist (CBS, 9/10pm) – Special times for our crime fighters.

Wednesday

  • American Idol (Fox, 8pm) – Idol is shifting to a Wed/Thurs presentation to give Obama some space on Tues, this week Motown, go Adam!
  • Survivor (CBS, 8pm) – A special night and time to recap the first fifteen days.

Thursday

  • In the Motherhood (ABC, 8pm) Series Premiere – Megan Mullally, Jessica St Clair, and Cheryl Hines are mothers making funny in this update of a web series followed by the return of Samantha Who? in a new time slot.

Friday

  • NCAA Basketball (CBS, 4pm) – In case you’ve missed it the NCAA playoffs are cooking, tonight you can catch some regional playoffs.

Saturday

  • Nickelodeon Kids’ Choice Awards (Nick, 8pm) – Dwayne (no longer the Rock) Johnson hosts, and last I heard at least Chris Brown won’t be there.
  • World Figure Skating Championships (NBC, 9pm) – In case you’re getting geared up for next year’s Olympics or just like the spinning.

Sunday

  • The No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency (HBO, 8pm) Series Premiere – Jill Scotts plays the lead in this adaptation of the novel series set in Botswana, which I hear is delightful, the series that is.
  • Any Dream Will Do (BBCA, 8pm) Series Premiere – Who will win the lead in Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat.
  • G4 Underground (G4, 9pm) Series Premiere – Getting the real dirt on amateur porn and real life costumed superheroes.
  • Little Dorrit (PBS, 9pm) – Kicking off the latest Masterpiece Miniseries in this Dickens presentation.

* Times noted are PST, always check your local listings.

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movies

and the oscar goes to….

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There were not a lot of huge surprises in last night’s Academy Awards and although I was hoping that there would be a swan or a Cher in the bunch I’ll have to say no one embarrassed themselves. This year Hugh Jackman was the host and again, he didn’t embarrass himself. I didn’t mind the opening musical number but the secondary tribute to musicals with Beyonce and some youngsters didn’t work for me. Next year I’d prefer to go back to the comedian host. Perhaps Steve Martin and Tina Fey who as presenters remind us humor can be good.

I also wasn’t in love with the new method of having five previous winners of the acting categories speak to each of the nominees. It was lovely to see some of the previous winners but there was an odd quality to having the prompter reading of admiration, which in some cases came off to me as stilted and a little bit of a drag. Back to clips I say. There was a relatively cute Pineapple Express take on some of the nominated and non-nominated films of the year, which was worth it just to see James Franco’s alter egos cross paths. And although I think Queen Latifah’s song set to the memorial presentation was nice the camera panning back and forth caused it to be difficult to read the names and roles of some of the honorees.

But back to the really important part of the evening, the clothes… Again no one blew me away, but I found some of the simple+ looks most lovely, Keira Knightly, Marion Cotillard, and Taraji P. Henson were of note. I couldn’t totally get behind Miley Cyrus but I’ll give the choice a pass, and no one but Beyonce could look great in that dress. And Sara Jessica Parker’s cup that runeth over and Virginia Madsen’s muffin top on top, reminded me that its all in the details. Amy Adams necklace was fantastic but I would have loved to see it with an even more simple dress.

As for the dudes, Mickey Rourke who always rocks a slightly random look pulled it off sans scarf this year. And I’ll give Adrein Brody the benefit of the doubt that the hair facial and otherwise was for a roll, but Philip Seymore Hoffman in the beanie cap was inexcusable.

And on an unrelated note, cutting to Brangelina during Jennifer Aniston’s presentation, twice, really wasn’t needed. Oh and I won my Oscar Pool, perhaps I will have to buy more television related equipment with my winnings!

(Click on any of the photos to see larger)

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sports, tv

next week 2/16

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New and notable in the week ahead… procrastinator picks are underlined.

Monday

  • Tour of California (Vs) – Check the week for stages 3-9, usually showing about three times a day, and get a look at some of the top cycling teams.
  • Little People, Big World (TLC, 8pm) Season Premiere – They’re heading to Iraq with a surgeon to help some kids.

Tuesday

  • American Idol (Fox, 8pm) – Time to get the speed dial ready, and remember it’s a singing competition, let’s get this down to a good top 12.
  • Dogg After Dark (MTV, 9pm) Series Premiere – Snoop Dogg gets a variety show.
  • Real Housewives of NYC (Brav, 11pm) Season Premiere – New housewife, old tension.

Wednesday

  • Little Miss Perfect (WEtv, 10pm) Series Premiere – Junior beauty pageants and their parents compete.
  • High School Reunion (TVL, 10pm) Season Premiere – After my high school was in consideration for a season of this I have almost been tempted to tune in, almost.

Thursday

  • Being Erica (Soap, 10pm) Series Premiere – Can you relive old moments in your life, this new series shows a gal do just that?

Friday

  • Mistresses (BBCA, 8pm) Series Debut – Four ladies have some drama on this new drama.
  • Real Time with Bill Maher (HBO, 10pm) Season Premiere -Bill has a real time.
  • Late Night with Conan O’Brien (NBC, 12:35am) – Say goodbye to Late Night with Conan O’Brien and hello to The Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien, but not until June 1.

Saturday

  • Taking Chance (HBO, 8pm) – Do people still do the six degrees of Kevin Bacon, check out this flick if you want fodder.
  • 2009 Film Independent’s Spirit Awards (IFC, 9pm) – These awards go indie style.
  • Aisha Tyler Is Lit: Live at the Fillmore (Com, 11pm) – I worked with Aisha forever ago at a regular office job and don’t know whether her success inspires or depresses me.

Sunday

  • Barbara Walters Special (ABC, 8:30pm) – Anne Hathaway, Mickey Rourke, Hugh Jackman, and the Jonas Brothers.
  • The 100 Most Outrageous Moments 2 (NBC, 9pm) – Outrageous home videos, that must be much better than the funniest home videos.
  • The 81st Annual Academy Awards (ABC, 3:30/5/5:30pm) – Silly preshow interviews, awkward host moments with Jackman, boring speeches, and noteworthy fashions, oh and a chance to win my Oscar pool.

* Please note all times are PST.

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sports, tv

next week 2/9

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New and notable in the week ahead… procrastinator picks are underlined.

Monday

  • Presidential News Conference (various, 5pm*) – Obama talks the talk.
  • Top Gear (BBCA, 8pm) Season Premiere – Looks like there is some truck and porsche driving.
  • Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show (USA & others mon & tues, check your local listings) – Doggies!
  • BET Honors (BET, 6pm) – Gabrielle Union hosts the latest honors.
  • The Girls of Hedsor Hall (MTV, 9pm) Series Premiere – Another chance for crass girls to turn sophisticated, but this time they ship them to England.

Tuesday

  • TI’s Road to Redemption (MTV, 9pm) Series Premiere – Awaiting his own sentencing on weapons charges TI is clearly the model citizen to try to help some at-risk teens.
  • From G’s to Gents (MTV, 10pm) Season Premiere – I think they keep these bad boys away from the Girls of Hedsor Hall as they try to make them more gentlemanly.

Wednesday

  • Important Things with Demetri Martin (Com, 10:30pm) Series Premiere – Sketch comedy and more.

Thursday

  • NAACP Image Awards (Fox, 8pm) – Halle Berry and Tyler Perry host this one.
  • Survivor (CBS, 8pm) Season Premiere – The eliminations start early when they hit the Brazilian highlands.
  • Millionaire Matchmaker (Brav, 10pm) Season Premiere – I only caught one ep of this last season but it looked like an annoying owner of an ill equipped dating service helping socially inept men meat their trophy wives.

Friday

  • Dollhouse (Fox, 9pm) Series Premiere – I do love Joss Whedon (Buffy, Angel, Firefly, Dr Horrible) and I’m willing to give any new series of his more than a few eps of devotion, this latest brings us Buffy’s Faith/Eliza Dushku as one of a set of operatives who get new identities implanted and then wiped clean for weekly missions.

Saturday

  • Tour of California (Vs, 2pm, various times through next week) – They start out in Sacramento…
  • My Valentine Charlie Brown/A Charlie Brown Valentine (ABC, 8pm, also on previous Tues) – Romantic problems start in your youth…

Sunday

  • The Amazing Race (CBS, 8pm) Season Premiere – This year we’re going to see among others… the show’s first hearing-impaired contestant, along with some oldsters, some youngsters…
  • Eastbound & Down (HBO, 10:30pm) Series Premiere – Washed up big league baseball guy returns to his hometown to do the PE thing.

* Times noted are PST, check your local listings.

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tv

next week 2/2

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New and notable in the week ahead… procrastinator picks are underlined.

Monday

  • Chuck (NBC, 8pm) – Chuck goes 3d and I’m sure gets into some trouble.
  • I Love Money (VH1, 9pm) Season Premiere – This is the show where reality contestants compete in a reality contest.
  • Medium (NBC, 10pm) Season Premiere – Allison’s got a case of the visions, or something.
  • For the Love of Ray J (VH1, 10:30pm) Series Premiere – By now you’re probably familiar with the ‘rock star’ dating shows even if you’re not familiar with Ray J.

Tuesday

  • The IT Crowd (IFC, 8pm) Season Premiere – There’s a crowd and they’re in IT.

Wednesday

  • Katie Couric “All Access” Grammy Special (CBS, 9pm) – Katie interviews the kids with the Grammys.
  • Monsterquest (Hist, 10pm) Season Premiere – This ep is titled ‘Death of Loch Ness’ but let me tell you if there was a Loch Ness, and I’m not saying there was, he’s gonna be pissed if people start saying he’s dead.
  • The Exterminators (A&E, 10:30pm) Series Premiere – Let’s head to Louisiana to get rid of some bees and some coons.

Thursday

  • Gangland (Hist, 9pm) Season Premiere – We see the land of gangs.
  • Street Customs (TLC, 9pm) Season Premiere – We customize a ’67 barracuda.
  • Heli-Loggers (TLC, 10pm) Series Premiere – It’s what it sounds like, logging with helicopters.

Friday

  • Most Haunted (Trav, 7pm) Season Premiere – Not just haunted, but the most haunted places.
  • Jockeys (AnPl, 9pm) Series Premiere – We check in on the jockeys and their horses down at Santa Anita during a 30 day meet.

Saturday

  • Tour of California (Vs, 2pm) – This preview show will take a look at the tour and I’m sure mention Lance.

Sunday

  • Grammy Awards (CBS, 8pm) – Lil Wayne has the most noms and you can tune in to see him perform along with other hot hitmakers.
  • HGTV Showdown (HGTV, 9pm) Season Premiere – It’s a family room makeover!
  • Rob Dyrdek’s Fantasy Factor/The College Humor Show/Nitro Circus/How’s Your News? (MTV, 9/9:30/10/10:30pm) Series Premieres – Pro skateboarder, the guys from collegehumor.com, FMX, and reporters with disabilities…
  • XIII (NBC, 9pm) – Can Stephen Dorff recall whether he was involved in the assassination of the first chick prez, if not tonight check back next sunday for part two of the miniseries.
  • Mark & Olly: Living With the Machigenga (Trav, 10pm) Series Premiere – They start by searching for the Machigenga tribe.
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sports, tv

next week 1/19

2 Comments

New and notable in the week ahead… procrastinator picks are underlined.

Monday

  • Australian Open (ESPN2, 12:30am, through next week*) – The open continues!
  • Electric Company (PBS, 3:30pm*) – A new generation of whatever it was this show did.
  • House (Fox, 8pm) – If you’re not a season pass sort of person you should note the new time and rumor has it we will eventually see more of the original casties Cameron and Chase.
  • Will Work for Food (Food, 8:30pm) Series Premiere – Next Food Network star competitor Adam Gertler checks out food related jobs.
  • Momma’s Boys (NBC, 10pm) Season Finale – Will the mommas and the boys agree on their romantic choices?

Tuesday

  • Inauguration (Check Your Local Listings*) – This looks like it goes on all day and night but as I understand it the actual oath taking and inaugural address happen around noon DC time.
  • Tour Down Under (Vs, 1pm*) – Lance is back and you can check him out in this tour that runs through Sunday.

Wednesday

  • Lost (ABC, 8/9pm, repeats Saturday) Season Premiere – Recapping the previous seasons at 8 then the two hour premiere at 9, I’m kind of curious as to when we’ll be and whether we’ll be doing flash backs or forwards.
  • Lie to Me (Fox, 9pm) Series Premiere – If you’re down with The Mentalist, Monk, and/or Psych, this latest guy with great observational skills put Tim Roth in the lie detector seat.

Thursday

  • Winter X Games (ESPN, 6pm, ESPN2, ABC*) – The stars of snow compete in Aspen through Sunday.
  • Bones (Fox, 8/9pm) – New time slot for our crime solving duo and the squints.
  • Burn Notice (USA, 10pm) Season Premiere – Our ousted spy is still trying to get answers while helping people in this mostly cheesy but fun caper show.

Friday

  • Wolverine and the X-Men (Nicktoons, 8/8:30pm) Series Premiere – Nothing much going on a friday night so I have stooped to noting cartoons.

Saturday

  • Gone Country (CMT, 8pm) Season Premiere – Non country folks like Justin Guarini and Micky Dolenz try out their country chops.
  • Miss America Live (TLC, 8pm) – Being on The Learning Channel I might think Miss America would teach me something.
  • US Figure Skating Championship (NBC, 9pm) – If you’re down with the tiny girls spinning around…

Sunday

  • SAG Awards (TNT, 8pm) – Film and TV actors honor each other.
  • The Last Templar (NBC, 9pm) – The miniseries continues on Monday as Mira Sorvino and Scott Foley do the sort of find the secret museumy, archaeological kind of thing.

* Check your local times.

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tv

next week 1/5

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New and notable in the week ahead…

Monday

  • The Bachelor (ABC, 8pm) Season Premiere – For those of you who missed the really nice guy with the kid from the Bachelorette… he gets to pick now.
  • The Secret Life of the American Teenager (ABC Fam, 8pm) Season Premiere – I really tried to like this cheesy show but I just couldn’t groove with the bad characters and clunky dialogue.
  • Masters of Illusion (MNT, 10pm) Series Premiere – Illusions will happen.
  • Diettribe (Life, 10pm) Series Premiere – The ladies put it on together, and the ladies will take it off together.
  • True Beauty (ABC, 10pm) Series Premiere -Vanessa Minnillo hosts this latest elimination series where it looks like shallow pretty folks are judged on inner beauty.
  • Daddy’s Girls (MTV, 10:30pm) Series Premiere – This is apparently a spin off of Run’s House, and I don’t know what that is either.

Tuesday

  • The Biggest Loser (NBC, 8pm) Season Premiere – And the losing continues, this round is couples.
  • Homeland Security USA (ABC, 8pm) Series Premiere – I think this is kind of like an infomercial for homeland security.
  • Scrubs (ABC, 9/9:30pm) Season Premiere – A new network and Courtney Cox takes over where Kelso left off, at least for now.
  • Vice Squad (MNT, 9/9:30pm) Series Premiere – Like Cops but for Vice.
  • Nip/Tuck (FX, 11pm) Season Premiere – And the guys keep doing what they do.
  • Primetime: What Would You Do? (ABC, 10pm) Season Premiere – I think they cruelly make people witness awkward or illegal situations to see what they would do.
  • Wreckreation Nation (Disc, 10pm) Series Premiere – Lawnmower racing and alligator wrestling are just a sample of things to come.
  • 10 Items or Less (TBS, 11pm) Season Premiere – Scripted and improved grocery store humor.

Wednesday

  • 13: Fear is Real (CW, 8pm) Series Premiere – Folks have now volunteered to be scared in this elimination show.
  • People’s Choice Awards (CBS, 9pm) – The people have chosen.
  • Barbara Walters Special (ABC, 10pm) – Patrick Swayze has a new cable series coming out and talks about that and his cancer.
  • Damages (FX, 10pm) Season Premiere – Folks dig this Glen Close legal thriller but I never got on board.
  • The Real World (MTV, 10pm) Season Premiere – It’s the 21st season and they’re heading to Brooklyn.
  • Tyler Perry’s Meet the Browns (TBS, 10pm) Series Premiere – He started with House of Payne but here’s the latest.

Thursday

  • Dragon’s Den (BBC, 8pm) Season Premiere – Folks pitch ideas to multimillionaires.
  • Critic’s Choice Awards (VH1, 8:30/9pm) – Red carpet followed by the awards themselves as the critics pick.
  • Greg Behrendt’s Wake-Up Call (Soap, 10pm) Series Premiere – Couples get help from Greg on their relationships.
  • Snapped (Oxy, 10pm) Season Premiere – I think they look at photos of crimes.

Friday

  • Howie Do It (NBC, 8pm) Series Premiere – I didn’t get Mandel’s Deal or No Deal and I don’t get these pull a prank on people shows.
  • Flashpoint (CBS, 9pm) Season Premiere – This Strategic Response Unit ‘cop show’ is a decent procedural that’s back for another round.
  • Lipstick Jungle (NBC, 9pm) Series Finale – The ladies wrap thier run with a little more drama and lipstick.
  • Monk/Psych (USA, 9/10pm) Season Premiere(s) – The oddball crimefighters are back.
  • Stargate Atlantis (Scifi, 9pm) Series Finale – Will they stop the threat to earth, is there a threat to earth?

Saturday

  • Winter Dew Tour (NBC/USA, Sat/Sun, 2/12am, 1:30/1pm) – The winter action sports series is kickin’ it in Mount Snow Vt.
  • My Big Redneck Wedding (CMT, 9pm) Season Premiere – Tom Arnold lends a sarcastic line or two to these trashy weddings.
  • CMT Cribs (CMT, 9:30pm) Season Premiere – MTV cribs is doing it country-style.

Sunday

  • Golden Globe Awards (NBC, 7/8pm) – The Hollywood Foreign Press Association hands out tv and movie honors.
  • 24 (Fox, 8pm) Season Premiere – Jack’s back in some sort of fix, for hours.
  • Toolacademy (VH1, 10pm) Series Premiere – Ladies send their boyfriends to get some coaching to be less of a tool.
  • Battlestar Galactica (SciFi, 11pm) – Top ten things you need to know… I am still only up to season 2.
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