Ok so we’re finally narrowing down the field a bit. Let’s do a bit of catch up on what’s been going on in the weeks since last we spoke of ANTM…

First they all tried to work the power of movement while they learned to pose on a trampoline, but we all knew that was just a warm-up for the real challenge, posing with a figure skating partner. Lisa won the challenge and got to invite two pals to a Seventeen shoot, and as opposite as we can get, awkward Heather appeared painfully bad. But her posing in the roof top Gargoyle shoot kept her out of hot water while non-model-looking Janet and getting-worse-not-better Ambreal ended up in the bottom two with Ambreal making it to fight another week. Bye to annoying house mom Janet.

Then we focused on spokesmanship, or womanship as the case may be, and what a dud little Ebony was. Tyson Beckford came and gave the girls some tips on selling the sexy on your average kitchen item. Then they got their challenge which was making a psa for I am African. So they broke into three teams, and with creating their own material let’s just say it wasn’t the best psa I’ve ever seen, and though none of them will see the light of day, they picked a team and then randomly picked one of them, Heather, to go do a Mary J Blige shoot. The final shoot is speech free, so after they do their recycled material shots, dead-face Ambreal and snarly-face Ebony end up in the bottom two. Now when they decide to give Ambreal the boot, Ebony admits that she wants to go home. Tyra is pissed and not afraid to show it and gives Ambreal a serious reprieve.

Then the boring recap episode which for some reason I was thinking this came later in the season, whatever, I caught up on some tivo.

Then this last week Tyra did the lesson herself in ‘sexy movement for video’ with the gals. Now we all know when it comes to movement Heather isn’t great, but apparently Tyra thought that after a little coaching she was workin’ it when the gang tried to do some straight up sexy and some coy. They put their skills to the test in an Enrique Iglesias video where Lisa gets picked to be featured and then they throw a feature to Heather since she’s got such the goth look and they’re doing a kind of vampire thing. Now when I say featured I mean that they actually get to touch Enrique as he walks by them instead of just shooting him a sexy look. The big drama of this week was that apparently since Heather hadn’t really eaten anything she got hot and dehydrated and passed out. Will they never learn? They were showing lots of Chantal from the start, Tyra commented on Chantal not giving it all, and in the video they said she was stiff. And of course she with her ‘I’m not nervous cuz like I can dance and I can act…’ got taken down a notch and placed in the bottom two. But we’ve learned if they make it too obvious they may just live to make it another week and instead plus size/normal size Sarah was losing some weight and not comfortable enough with her body, so they sent her home. Though apparently none of the antm gals are featured in the real Enrique video they’ve posted their version on his site.

So who will get eliminated next? Still too soon to tell who will be America’s Next Top Model?

Well last week the ladies kept up the bitchy, mostly Bianca, and tried to keep up the model. We have quickly learned that the model walking is harder than it looks because man, do some of the gals look awkward, apparently adding a good facial expression to coordination in heels and an awkward dress is a challenge. But how appropo since we are in a competition. After a training round in straight jackets, Saleisha shone in an actual show. And then onto the shoot, high fashion on a climbing wall. Jenah, who is pretty personable is still taking great photos while Bianca and Kimberly were in the bottom two… They didn’t think Kimberly’s in person look was translating on film, so she was sent packing.

Jaslene, aka Cha Cha, of course breaks in with her awkward commerical. Ever since they instituted the previous year’s winners doing commercials they haven’t had much success. Again, it doesn’t look that hard… Jaslene had a random moment this week where they awkwardly tried to combine her wanting to do good work with domestic abuse while probably trying to sell cosmetics, and of course she’s not a great speaker…

Plus this week we had makeover week which is a favorite as someone always freaks out. This week we didn’t have any major breakdowns until Bianca’s hair was so fried they decided not to redo it but to cut it all off, and the tears started to silently pour out. They left a super short cut and gave her a fancy Beyonce wig, unfortunately, or fortunately she actually looks great without hair. And after a boring makeup challenge they went to a photo shoot where they all played plants. Jenah was good again and our bottom two was a toss up amongst, bad-attitude-and-bad-photo Yaley Victoria, overbearing had-a-moment-of-modeling Saleisha, and sweet little pretty-but-maybe-not-modely Texan Chantal. Chantal got the first reprieve, and then Saleisha, in tears and her new bob, took her photo to the line. Super good riddance to Victoria who not only wasn’t looking or behaving attractively but they repeatedly cut to her with the whole, ‘this isn’t what I want to be doing’ statements. Goodness knows a model has got to want it, at least in Tyra’s book. Afterall we aren’t looking for any model, we’re looking for America’s Next Top Model.

Tonight on ANTM the ladies move into the house. Of course it’s a new crew of them but it’s never much of a difference. This week Ebony turned the bitchy torch over to Bianca, lost all her spark, and almost became the first week’s cut. The first week there’s not a lot to judge the girls on so if that first photo isn’t good you’d better be bringing it in person.

Mila, our first victim, was super annoying as she thought everything was great and positive and funny, including her ‘serious side effects of cigarette smoking’ photo shoot. So when the shots were awkward she got the ax. The smoking thing is part of Tyra’s bid to change the world, she’s not only trying to get the show to go green, but she’s forcing all the gals to quit smoking so as not to be bad role models.

The only thing worse than a tired bitchy wannabe model is a tired bitchy wannabe model who has suddenly been cut off from her cigarettes. Let’s hope she drops of some nicotine gum. (I of course endorse both going green and quitting smoking but there is just something annoying about the way Tyra does it) And of course there was the weekly challenge where they were advised on and told to pick modely clothes, every year they’re told to keep it simple and they really just never learn.

We’ve yet to get a real sense for all the girls, and there aren’t any real standouts for me, but in addition to the bitchy gals we’re getting a dose of bookishly awkward Yaley Victoria and the medically awkward Asberger syndrome sufferer Heather. And of course the gal that Biana picked on this week Lisa the former ‘bikini dancer,’ who is actually not bad. Sadly I can’t wait for next week’s episode.