tv

next week 9/28

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New and notable in the week ahead… procrastinator picks are underlined.

Monday

  • Lie to Me (Fox, 9pm) Season Premiere – Tim Roth returns to the show where telling if people are lying is the special gimmick.
  • Trauma (NBC, 9pm) Series Premiere – The pilot is filled with lots of big action but only time will tell if this paramedic drama can keep up the action and the drama.

Tuesday

  • Weird, True & Freaky/Lost Tapes (AnPl, 9/10pm) Season Premiere – Animal oddities.
  • The Hills/The City (MTV, 10/10:30pm) Season Premiere – Those people that I don’t know who they are on the cover of weekly magazines are back.

Wednesday

  • Hank/The Middle (ABC, 8/8:30pm) Series Premieres – Big sitcom stars Kelsey Grammer and Patricia Heaton give it another go as average Joes.
  • I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant/King of the Crown (TLC, 8/9pm) Season Premiere – There’s apparently a series worth of people who didn’t know they were pregnant and some dude helps pageant contestants.
  • Bank of Mom and Dad (Soap, 10pm) Series Premiere – The folks, and a financial consultant, help people get their money troubles in order.
  • Real World/Road Rules Challenge (MTV, 10pm) Season Premiere – Contestants new and old head to Thailand.

Thursday

  • Speeders Fight Back (Tru, 10pm) Season Premiere – For those who long to watch traffic court.
  • Private Practice (ABC, 10pm) Season Premiere – The Grey’s spinoff that made me refer to Grey’s as the serious one.

Friday

  • ‘Til Death (Fox, 8:30pm) Season Premiere – Is this show really coming back?
  • Diettribe (Life, 9pm) Season Premiere – Five gals get together with hope of doing a triathalon.
  • Stargate Universe (Syfy, 9pm) Series Premiere – Another branch of the series jumping through another stargate to somewhere else, interested?
  • Pay it Off (BET, 10pm) Series Premiere – A game show to pay off debts, or fritter away.
  • Wedded to Perfection (TLC, 10pm) Series Premiere – And it’s a wedding…

Saturday

  • Superfetch/Dogs 101 (AnPl, 8/9pm) Series/Season Premiere – Advanced tricks like having your dog pay for your manicure, but for those who are looking for a little more basic dog info.
  • Celebrity Ghost Stories (Bio, 10pm) Series Premiere – Um, Joan Rivers and Scott Baio tell ghost encounters.

Sunday

  • America’s Funniest Home Videos (ABC, 7pm) Season Premiere – They’ll never run out of footage.
  • Three Rivers (CBS, 9pm) Series Premiere – This medical drama focuses on those working in organ donations.
  • My Monkey Baby (TLC, 9pm) Series Premiere – I don’t know why this hasn’t been a show before, a couple raises a monkey as their baby.
  • The Next Iron Chef (Food, 9pm) Season Premiere – 10 more competitors compete.
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tv

next week 9/21

5 Comments

New and notable in the week ahead… procrastinator picks are underlined.

Monday

  • Heroes (NBC, 8pm) Season Premiere – I just couldn’t take it anymore so I have no idea what they’re up to and I’d like to keep it that way.
  • House (Fox, 8pm) Season Premiere – I am not entirely sure why I still watch this show, every episode they almost kill someone until they save them and House is an ass, but now I just need to see if he’s an insane ass.
  • Dancing with the Stars/Castle (ABC, 8/10pm) Season Premiere – I don’t watch the dance but I am taken in by Fillion on Castle.
  • How I Met Your Mother/Accidentally on Purpose/Two and a Half Men/The Big Bang Theory/CSI: Miami (CBS, 8-11pm) Season/Series Premiere – Accidentally is supposed to be a stinker but Mother and Big Bang are pretty consistently funny, and I never watch Caruso on CSI.
  • Brick City (Sund, 10pm) Series Premiere – First of a five-part series on Newark NJ.
  • Misadventures (Trav, 10pm) Series Premiere – First Brazil and then Burma.

Tuesday

  • NCIS/NCIS: Los Angeles/The Good Wife (CBS, 8-11pm; GW repeats Sat 9pm) Season/Series Premieres – First the original which I’ve honestly never see, then LL Cool J and Chris O’Donnell head up the latest spinoff, does this mean CSI: L&O: NCIS: Boston is next? But wait, Wife is supposed to be a great mix of drama and cases.
  • The Forgotten (ABC, 10pm) Series Premiere – Christian Slater heads up volunteers helping to fight crime.
  • The Naughty Kitchen with Chef Blythe Beck (Oxy, 10pm) Series Premiere – More reality fare on the menu as they follow a chef and her team.
  • Table for 12 (TLC, 10/10:30pm) Season Premiere – I think this is the one with more kids and no tabloid divorce.

Wednesday

  • The New Adventures of Old Christine/Gary Unmarried/Criminal Minds/CSI: NY (CBS, 8-11pm) Season Premieres – First some laughs and then some murder, not to give anything away.
  • Mercy/L&O: SVU (NBC, 8-10pm; Mercy repeats Sat 9pm) Series/Season Premiere – The lives of three nurses and then back to the special victims.
  • Modern Family/Cougar Town/Eastwick (ABC, 9-11pm; MF/CT repeat Fri 9pm) Series Premieres – With this chunk of new shows let’s hope for a winner, rumor has it Family is the best on this block.

Thursday

  • CSI/The Mentalist (CBS, 9/10pm) Season Premiere – I’ll pass on CSI but I do like Baker’s charms.
  • Flash Forward/Grey’s Anatomy (ABC, 8/9pm; FF repeats Fri 8pm) Series/Season Premiere – First the blackout that is the premise for at least one season and then George is out and Izzie is in, except for the break Heigl takes to shoot her movie, would that be at the same time Mer is out maternity leave, damn me for still watching this show.

Friday

  • Brothers/Dollhouse (Fox, 8/9pm; Brothers repeats Sun 7pm) Series/Season Premiere – This new show isn’t supposed to be all that but tune in to see what the latest capers Echo and the crew get into.
  • Smallville (CW, 8pm) Season Premiere – Clark continues.
  • Ghost Whisperer/Medium/Numb3rs (CBS, 8pm) Season Premieres – Don’t tune into the two visions shows but do tend to catch the crime math.
  • L&O (NBC, 8pm) Season Premiere – And the longest running drama series is back.

Saturday

  • 48 Hours Mystery (CBS, 10pm) Season Premiere – I’m not even sure why it’s 2 days.
  • Saturday Night Live (NBC, 11:30pm) Season Premiere – Megan Fox hosts with U2 in the musical guest spot.

Sunday

  • Extreme Makeover: Home Edition/Desperate Housewives/Brothers & Sisters (ABC, 7/9/10pm) Season Premiere – Construction, soapy drama, whiny drama.
  • The Simpsons/The Cleveland Show/Family Guy/American Dad (Fox, 8pm) Season/Series Premiere – Animation all night long.
  • 60 Minutes/The Amazing Race/Cold Case (CBS, 7/8/10pm) Season Premieres –  News, racing, and an old crime set to old music.
  • Dexter/Californication (Show, 9/10pm) Season Premieres – I don’t get this channel but make someone else save Dexter for me, what will the season bring.
  • My Fair Wedding (WE, 10pm) Season Premiere – Something about a wedding.

Repeat times noted for new series on traditional network channels, please always consult your current local listings.

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tv

new for fall

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gleeThe shows are starting to roll out and although I don’t get advanced copies for review, the previews and critics have me interested in the following:

  • Community (NBC, 9/17) – Joel McHale from Talk Soup plays an ousted lawyer hitting community college with a misfit study group including Chevy Chase.
  • FlashForward (ABC, 9/24) – This year’s weird entry has folks black out and envision their future and then?
  • Glee (Fox, 9/9) – Yes, it’s funny but not a typical comedy and yes there’s singing but it’s not a typical musical, tune in.
  • The Good Wife (CBS, 9/22) – Julianna Margulies is back as the wife of a disgraced politician, Chris Noth, and has to start at the beginning with her law practice.
  • Modern Family (ABC, 9/23) – Three interlinking wacked out families includes the family that tries too hard, adopting gay parents, and an older rich dude with a hot young wife.
  • V (ABC, 11/3) – It’s a remake but supposedly picks up with alien intrigue with Elizabeth Mitchell, Scott Wolf, and Morena Baccarin among others.

And of course time will tell for these as well:

The Beautiful Life: TBL (CW, 9/16) – Life behind the scenes of models up and coming to has beens, good bad or just bad; The Cleveland Show (Fox, 9/27) – Family Guy character takes his family to his own show, if you liked the Family Guy;  Cougar Town (ABC, 9/23) Courtney Cox gives it another go as an ‘older’ divorced woman, early buzz isn’t great; Eastwick (ABC, 9/23) – Rebecca Romijn, Jaime Ray Newman, and Lindsay Price take on the roles of women discovering their powers, potential is rumored to not yet be realized; The Forgotten (ABC, 9/22) – Christian Slater joins the cast of folks finding lost folks, late replacement Slater and retooling of plot so we’ll see; Melrose Place (CW, 9/8) – Soapy over the top drama with characters new and old, meh; The Middle (ABC, 9/30) – Patricia Heaton is back with family in hard times, hard times are supposedly funny times; NCIS: Los Angeles (CBS, 9/22) – Chris O’Donnell and LL Cool J head up the new spin LA style, hipper than the old version means something; Three Rivers (CBS, 10/4) – That guy from that other vampire show Moonlight is one of the drs in the organ transplant unit, looks like a snore; Trauma (NBC, 9/28) – Lots of explosions and then maybe some EMT drama, explosions can’t be maintained and the drama’s not quite dramatic yet; Vampire Diaries (CW, 9/10) – They look into each other’s eyes longingly, if you’re looking for fluff.

And a few to pull out that have been labeled as losers:

Accidentally on Purpose (CBS, 9/21) – Jenna Elfman gets pregnant by a young one night stand; Brothers (Fox, 9/25) – Ex NFL star moves home after dad’s heart attack; Hank (ABC, 9/30) Kelsey Grammar is back as a family patriarch recently hitting harder times; Mercy (NBC, 9/23) – Another hospital drama from the nurse’s POV.

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tv

next week 9/14

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New and notable in the week ahead… procrastinator picks are underlined,

Monday

  • Lincoln Heights (ABCFam, 8pm) Season Premiere – One of the few shows I’ve never seen an episode of, probably won’t tune in now with expectations of tuning out.
  • One Tree Hill (CW, 8pm) Season Premiere – I made it through the first season before I couldn’t take it anymore and sort of surprised it’s still on.
  • Gossip Girl (CW, 9pm) Season Premiere – The gang is back with the high school drama transition to college, good thing Little J and that other brother will keep us in school uniform variations.
  • Eddie Griffin: Going for Broke (VH1, 10pm) Series Premiere – Who wants more reality?
  • The Jay Leno Show (NBC, 10pm) Series Premiere – So is it the demise of television as we know it, or is it just Jay at a different time?

Tuesday

  • The Biggest Loser (NBC, 8pm) Season Premiere – Heartwarming stories make it too hard for me to make fun, I like my reality a little cheesier.

Wednesday

  • Full Color Football (Show, 8pm) Series Premiere – I’m still stuck on black and white football.
  • The Beautiful Life (CW, 9pm) Series Premiere – With Mischa Barton fresh off her psychiatric hold, I mean wisdom tooth breakdown, will this show about models be bad enough to be good or just plain bad?
  • MysteryQuest (Hist, 10pm) Series Premiere – Some sort of quest for a mystery.
  • The Ultimate Fighter (Spike, 10pm) Season Premiere – 16 fighters compete.

Thursday

  • Bones (Fox, 8pm) Season Premiere – What’s the future for Booth and Bones with the brain tumor removal induced amnesia, that’s actually a little soapier than this show normally goes, back to romantic tension and the case of the week.
  • SNL/Parks & Recreation/The Office/Community (NBC, 8/8:30/9/9:30pm) Season/Series Premiere – Weekend update Thursday kicks of this night of expected laughs, Parks & Rec still needs to find its footing but worth a watch, and then The Office shows that Jim and Pam together can still be funny, and newcomer Community introducing a washed up dude turned community college professor and his band of misfits tutor group including none other than Chevy Chase.
  • Survivor (CBS, 8pm) Season Premiere – This time it’s Samoa for more castaways, more plotting, more torches getting snuffed.
  • Extreme Cuisine (Food, 9pm) Series Premiere – Jeff Corwin heads off to Greece.
  • Fringe (Fox, 9pm) Season Premiere – I couldn’t quite get on board with this last season.
  • It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia (Fx, 10pm) Season Premiere – I don’t watch this show regularly and I ask myself why, first the gang tries their hand at the mortgage crisis.

Friday

  • Alma Awards (ABC, 8pm) – Eva Longoria Parker and George Lopez host.
  • Crash (Starz, 10pm) Season Premiere – Who gets Starz channel anyhow?

Saturday

  • Action Sports (NBC, Sat/Sun, 9/11am) – The Dew Tour has the Toyota Challenge hits Salt Lake City.

Sunday

  • Emmy Awards (CBS, 8pm) – I still don’t care but this year it’s hosted by Neil Patrick Harris.
  • Curb Your Enthusiasm (HBO, 9pm) Season Premiere – As I’m sure you’ve heard there’s a Seinfeld reunion coming.
  • Bored to Death (HBO, 9:30pm) Series Premiere – Jason Schwartzman is a writer, no wait now he’s a detective.
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returning fall favorites

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mentalistWith Sons of Anarchy starting this week I am starting to get excited about some of the shows that are coming back. What shows you say, well let me tell you:

  • Bones (Fox, 9/17) – Booth and Bones and the rest of the squints have just kept up the good chemistry while doing science on the stiffs.
  • Castle (ABC, 9/21) – Nathan Fillion finally found a good role where he could work his charms, and be called out by new partner when they border on smarmy, on admittedly not cutting edge crimes.
  • Chuck (NBC, 2010) – Sad to see I have to wait even longer for the great mix of comedy, action, and of course romance on this spy show.
  • Dexter (Show, 9/27) – I may get mad at Dexter for letting people into his life and jeopardizing his serial killer secrets but I can’t wait to see what mess he’ll get into next.
  • Dollhouse (Fox, 9/25) – I would follow creator Joss anywhere but Dollhouse really started hitting its stride last season as Echo takes on new personalities each week while she and others take on the secrets.
  • Gossip Girl (CW, 9/14) – Still my favorite trashy pleasure with the gang that gets into tons of drama and tons of great clothes, what will life post high school have in store?
  • The Mentalist (CBS, 9/24) – Simon Baker is another favorite, and his role of overly observant tortured crime fighter suits him, though who knew California had a Bureau of Investigations.
  • Sons of Anarchy (Fx, 9/8) – The boys are back, with the women who love them, dealing with crime and family, keeping you on the edge of your seat.
  • How I Met Your Mother/Big Bang Theory (CBS, 9/21) – These two gangs made me laugh.
  • 30 Rock/The Office (NBC, 9/17) – Work can be funny too.
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tv

next week 9/7

2 Comments

New and notable in the week ahead… procrastinator picks are underlined.

Monday

  • Durham County (ION, 10pm – repeats various) Series Premiere – This Canadian import follows a cop wanting to start over, something says it won’t be drama free.

Tuesday

  • 90210/Melrose Place (CW, 8/9pm – repeats Fri/Sun) Season/Series Premiere – Ok, I don’t even watch the new 90210, and I don’t think I stuck out with the originals until the end, but I’m recommending this night for nostalgia’s sake alone even if it doesn’t make it to a season pass.
  • Sons of Anarchy (Fx, 10pm) Season Premiere – Ready to dive back in to SAMCRO’s internal and external drama as the bikers face some white supremacists.

Wednesday

  • Presidential Address (various, 5pm/pst) – Obama addresses a joint session of Congress, health-care anyone?
  • ANTM (CW, 8pm) Season Premiere – I keep trying to stop watching this show but will tune in to this year’s crop of slightly shorter ‘top model’ wannabes let the makeover meltdowns commence.
  • So You Think You Can Dance (Fox, 8pm) Season Premiere – More dancers, more dancing.
  • Glee (Fox, 9pm – repeats Fri) Season Premiere – Let’s hope this series gets enough viewers to give this fun quirky show, someone aptly compared the tone to Election, enough time to find its legs.
  • Inside the NFL (Show, 9pm) Season Premiere – I’ll go out on a limb and say this show is football related.
  • Nostradamus (Hist, 9pm) Series Premiere – For a cheery look at Doomsday prophecies, is the next Hitler still on his way?
  • The Day Before (Sund, 10pm) Series Premiere – A four part documentary series that explores behind the scenes of a few fashion folks before a big runway show.
  • Destination Truth (Syfy, 10pm) Season Premiere – Some guys investigate some stuff to get some truth.

Thursday

  • Sunday Night Football (NBC, 5:30pm/pst) Season Premiere – Titans at Steelers, need I say more.
  • The Vampire Diaries (CW, 8pm – repeats Fri/Sun) Series Premiere – If you think this looks a little like Twilight Dawson’s Creek style you were right, creator Kevin Williamson brings us the latest vampire book adaptation, it might not be good but worth a look.
  • Destroyed in Seconds (Disc, 8pm) Season Premiere – Hurricanes, explosions…
  • Supernatural (CW, 9pm) Season Premiere – The boys are back, well I assume they are, I didn’t make it past the first couple of episodes.
  • Behind the Music (VH1, 10pm) Series Premiere – First look, Lil Wayne in this relaunch series.

Friday

  • US Open (CBS, Fri/Sat/Sun, 9:30/9am/5pm/1pm/pst) – Following more ESPN2 coverage, the players hit the network, will it be Federer and Serena in the end?
  • Friday Night with Jonathan Ross (BBCA, 9pm) Season Premiere – Jamie Oliver, Ricky Gervais, and a cricketer.
  • Say Yes to the Dress (TLC, 9pm) Season Premiere – Wedding dresses, wedding dress wearers, wedding dress sales people.
  • 20/20 (ABC, 10pm) Season Premiere – Barbara Walters gets a Jackson to talk about Michael, La Toya it is.

Saturday

  • Cops/America’s Most Wanted (Fox, 8/9pm) Season Premieres – Criminals new and old.
  • The Locator/Adoption Diaries (WE, 9/10pm) Season/Series Premiere – Give family up for adoption and find lost family…
  • Robin Hood (BBCA, 9pm) Season Premiere – A return to Sherwood Forrest.
  • Heart of the City (BET, 9:30pm) Series Premiere – A documentary series focusing on issues facing black communities.

Sunday

  • Football Night in America (NBC, 4pm/pst) Season Premiere – Highlights and previews.
  • VMA Awards (MTV, 8/9/11:15pm) – It’s a night of VMAs with the opening act followed by Russell Brand hosting the awards themselves, filled with performances of course, followed by a post show.

Additional airings noted for pilot episodes (various other shows repeat) but schedules do update so please check your local listings.

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tv

summer lovin’

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leverageSo we’re not quite ready for Fall season, I think we’re calling anything through August as ‘Summer’. We have had a few summer shows that have started, and now that we’ve had a chance to take a gander, what did we like (excluding reality for the sake of brevity)?

  • Burn Notice (USA, Returning) – The cheesy start won me over as I grew to enjoy the weekly capers, the MacGyver-esque tech, and the growing characters.
  • The Closer (TNT, Returning) – I like Kyra as this driven head of a special detective squad questioning suspects into submission.
  • Drop Dead Diva (Life, Premiere) – This ridiculous plot of a tiny model woman dropped into the body of a not tiny lawyer woman is somehow sweet in that Legally Blonde sort of way.
  • Eureka (SyFy, Returning) – This town of science geniuses turn out problems that apparently the only nongenius member of the town can solve as the town sheriff holds them all together.
  • Greek (ABCFam, Returning) – The light and silly tone paired with surprisingly complex characters and situations almost makes me miss college.
  • InPlain Sight (USA, Returning) – Appealing enough as the lead is as abrasive as she is caring as she tries to help her witness protection participants and her nutso family.
  • L&O: Criminal Intent (USA, Returning) – Goldblum adds a nice mix to the remaining partners as we see the criminals and the detectives.
  • Leverage (TNT, Returning) – I just love a good caper show, and although this isn’t the best, it’s pretty entertaining with the mix of experts taking down the bad guys.
  • Monk (USA, Returning) – The cases aren’t masterful but the quirky detective and his posse are amusing as the show reaches its final season.
  • Saving Grace (TNT, Returning) – Grace still has a great mix of thoughtful and just plain crazy drama and detective work.

Show that I’ve tried but just didn’t have that thing that pushed them onto the Tivo queue:

The Cleaner (A&E, Returning), Dark Blue (TNT, Premiere), Defying Gravity (ABC, Premiere), The Goode Family (ABC, Premiere), HawthoRNe (TNT, Premiere), Hung (HBO, Series Premiere), The Listener (NBC, Premiere), Make it or Break It (ABCFam, Premiere),  Mental (Fox, Premiere), Mental (Fox, Premiere), Merlin (NBC, Premiere), Michael & Michael Have Issues (Com, Premiere), The Philanthropist (NBC, Premiere), Raising the Bar (TNT, Returning), Royal Pains (USA, Premiere), Ruby & the Rockits (ABCFam, Premiere), Secret Life of the American Teenager (ABCFam, Returning), 10 Things I Hate About You (ABCFam, Premiere), Warehouse 13 (Syfy, Premiere)

And maybe I’ll catch these cable shows on Netflix:

Being Human (BBC, Premiere), Entourage (HBO, Returning), Mad Men (AMC, Returning), Nurse Jackie (Show, Premiere), Psych (USA, Returning), Rescue Me (Fx, Returning), Skins (BBC, Returning), Torchwood (BBC, Returning), True Blood (HBO, Returning), Weeds (Show, Returning)

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tv

next week 8/31

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New and notable in the week ahead… procrastinator picks are underlined.

Monday

  • CMA Music Festival (ABC, 8pm) – Do Kenny Chesney and Taylor Swift make you want to tune in?
  • Greek (ABCFam, 9pm) Season Premiere – So glad to be heading back to school and not just for another chance for Casey and Cappie, you know his rejection won’t last for long.
  • Ultimate Cake Off (TLC, 10pm) – Arg, let the pastry chef’s bake off in the cake off with a pirate theme.

Tuesday

  • Andrew Zimmern’s Bizarre World (Trav, 10pm) Series Premiere – How bizarre will first stop Cuba be?
  • Rehab (Tru, 10pm) Season Premiere – I don’t know if this party at the Hard Rock hotel has anything to do with actual rehab.
  • Surviving Disaster (Spike, 10pm) Series Premiere – Will watching this show make me feel more or less fearful?

Wednesday

  • CBS Fall Preview (CBS, 8:30pm) – The cast of How I Met Your Mother hosts the display of what’s to come.
  • Glee (Fox, 9pm) – In case you missed the pilot at the end of last season tune in tonight (or tomorrow) to prepare for the season to come.

Thursday

  • Football (Fox, 7pm) – Tonight is repeatapalooza unless you want to watch some exhibition football.

Friday

  • Eureka (Syfy, 11pm) – In case you missed the start of this amusing show, you can tune in for the pilot and some marathon action to catch up.

Saturday

  • At the Movies (ABC, 6:30pm*) Season Premiere – The balcony is open again but this season former guest hosts NY Times AO Scott joins Chicago Tribune’s Michael Phillips as new regulars.

Sunday

  • Tennis (Sat/Sun, CBS, 8am) – The US Open kicks off on Monday but moves from ESPN2 to network for the Labor Day weekend, will it be favorites Federer and Serena?

*Check your local listings.

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next week 8/24

5 Comments

New and notable in the week ahead… procrastinator picks are underlined.

Monday

  • Make it or Break it (ABCFam, 11am) – If you missed this new series, and not by choice, they’re doing a marathon leading up to the finale.
  • The Rachel Zoe Project (Brav, 10pm) Season Premiere – Have to admit that I like fashion but I’d rather look at the outfits she puts together than hear her speak.

Tuesday

  • Frankie & Neffe (BET, 10:30pm) Series Premiere – Mother and sister of Keyshia Cole try to make it on their own, sort of.
  • Saving Grace (TNT, 11pm) – For those of you who accidently had your tivos set to only save five episodes the first of season 3 starts in again.

Wednesday

  • Crash Course (ABC, 9pm) Series Premiere – Dan Cortese and Orlando Jones host this latest reality competition, this one has pair driving.

Thursday

  • Marked (Hist, 9pm) Series Premiere – Exploring the history of the tattoo.
  • Rob Dyrdek’s Fantasy Factory/Bully Beatdown/Nitro Circus/Pranked (MTV, 9/9:30/10/10:30pm) Season/Series Premieres – Skate dudes, pros fight bullies, motor cross dudes, and pranks from the web.

Friday

  • CMT Comedy Stage Presents Terry Fator (CMT, 10pm) – Desperate for something to note, there is a comedian I’ve never heard of on a channel I’ve never watched, live from Las Vegas.

Saturday

  • Beach Volleyball (NBC, Sat/Sun, 11:30am) – The men bring it from Chicago on Saturday and the women return on Sunday.
  • The 25th Anniversary of Wrestlemania (NBC, 9pm) – Mickey Rourke makes a guest appearance as they look back on lots of wrestly goodness.
  • 24/7 (HBO, 10:15pm) Season Premiere – Marquez and Mayweather work it out.

Sunday

  • Fox Fall Preview (Fox, 4pm) – What will be the faves next season?
  • CW Fall 2009 Preview Special (CW, 6:30pm) – Laura Leighton and Thomas Callabro talk about all things fall including of course Melrose Place.
  • Daytime Emmy Awards (CW, 7/8pm) – First the stars arrive and then Vanessa Williams hosts the show with Sesame Street getting a lifetime achievement award.
  • NBC Primetime Preview (NBC, 8:30pm) – Can you say Leno at 10, I bet they can.
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next week 8/17

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New and notable in the week ahead… procrastinator picks are underlined.

Monday

  • Glen Martin DDS (Nick, 8pm) Series Premiere – Animated Kevin Nealon takes his family cross country technology free style.
  • Top Gear (BBCA, 8pm) Season Premiere – Something about cars…
  • Hoarders (A&E, 10pm) Series Premiere – The latest in the issues examination.

Tuesday

  • Shaq vs (ABC, 9pm) Series Premiere – Can Shaq compete in sports outside of basketball, we’ll see as he first takes to the football field.
  • The Universe (Hist, 9pm) Season Premiere – More looking into the, well the universe.
  • Flipping Out (Brav, 10pm) Season Premiere – Remodeling, flipping, whatever.
  • The Jon Dore Television Show (IFC, 10pm) Series Premiere – It’s a talk show or something.
  • Masters of Reception (TLC, 10pm) Series Premiere – Putting on a wedding reception with cats and murals and who knows what else.
  • The Secret Lives of Women (WE, 10pm) Season Premiere – The season stars with women who have children who have murdered.
  • House of Jazmin (MTV, 10:30pm) Series Premiere – Wedding planners get busy in front of the cameras.

Wednesday

  • Bobb’e Says/Dude, What Would Happen (Cart, 8pm) Series Premiere – I don’t think I need to bother describing things on the Cartoon Network.
  • Ghost Hunters (Syfy, 9pm) Season Premiere – Not sure what happens when they catch them.
  • Top Chef (Brav, 9pm) Season Premiere – More chefs grab knives in Vegas.
  • Black Gold (Tru, 10pm) Season Premiere

Thursday

  • Project Runway (Life, 8/10pm) Season Premiere – We’ll see how much the new network shakes things up as some of the past designers return for al all star challenge followed by the season premiere.
  • Models of the Runway (Life, 11pm) Series Premiere – A look at the ladies who work it in the lastest fashion challenges.

Friday

  • Jockeys (AnPl, 10pm) Season Premiere – There’s no job reality can’t follow.
  • Making Over America with Trinny and Susannah (TLC, 10pm) Series Premiere – The original Brits of What Not to Wear kick it American style.

Saturday

  • Country Fried Home Videos/All Jacked Up (CMT, 8/8:30pm) Season/Series Premiere – Videos and then extreme sports.
  • Extreme Bodies (Disc, 9/10pm) Series Premiere – First tall, then short.

Sunday

  • Miss Universe Pageant (NBC, 9pm) – The ladies from all over the Universe challenge each other to a walking the runway competition.
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