Or less darling as it turns out… since we were finally ready for the other shoe to drop on the unknown paternity of the kids on Dirty Sexy Money. And yes of course the brattiest, spoiledest, and the one who hates Nick the most, is in fact his brother. Brother Father Brian isn’t a Darling.

This wasn’t his only shock as the custody hearing for his own son went quickly, since he was arrested for attempted bribery. Out on bail, Brother Father is given a 6 month suspension. Infidelity and bribery don’t look that good to the parish and though he’s given a track back to god, is that the right path for him? So who does he turn to for guidance after much prayer? Apparently God told him to go work for Tripp. And to get out of that stuffy Father collar. Does this mean I can’t call him Brother Father and I have to remember his name?

Politico brother Patrick wraps up his stay in the hospital and apparently wifey wants to withdraw her arrangement for his seeing Carmelita. Either mistress or career. So he told her it would be career, but of course he told Carmelita he couldn’t give her up. Now he and wifey are getting back on track, and Carmelita thinks she’s being followed. And perhaps she was, because while the driver had her under surveillance for Pat she disappeared. And Patty seems broken up about it, or does he?

And Jeremy’s attempt to be a normal boyfriend led him to turn to Mrs. Nick. When she turned down his request to use their apartment as his ‘poor’ shack he rented a studio that he had a decorator trash appropriately. But alas the new gal doesn’t mind that he’s poor, just that he has no goals, which is in fact the case. But rather than show her the real, real him, he’s keeping the lie alive and borrowed some nudes from Mrs. Nick’s gallery to pretend to be a starving artist. Too bad the new ladyfriend wants him to paint her now. When he finally comes clean she’s of course livid about his lying.

And when Mrs. Nick gets a taste of what it’s really like to get caught up in the Darling schemes by trying to get the artist to help Jeremy out, she ends up smoking pot and having him kiss her. Of course she told Jeremy not to do it again… (she loves Nick and is way too old for him, but then again so is the woman he’s trying to woo). And she got fired for making the art smell like pot. When she and Nick talked, apparently the solution to being unemployed is to have another kid. I don’t get it, but they’re both thrilled.

And what of Miss Juliet the lovely who in real life has been spending time in outpatient rehab… well apparently her not being on the show was written in by her being on Karen’s honeymoon. And she brought back a boy toy. And as he agrees to stay indefinitely, and not to be taken care of, she agrees that he should be her first. Lest we forget she’s a virgin. I don’t get it, he doesn’t seem that hot or charismatic, but whatever.

And when Nick confided that Simon Elder’s latest request was for family financial records, Tripp agreed to supply them, or at least some sort of them. Tripp then got on the phone to a mysterious recipient to have them find out what Elder was after. Could Karen, who is now sleeping with Elder, be doing it under the guise of surveillance, or is that vice versa? Well yes, but their agreement is that she not get emotionally involved and she seems to be slipping when Elder introduces him to his ex, who he is still close with, and she ‘approves’ (yeah I didn’t quite get it), Karen got all choked up…

And we got to get a glimpse of Nick’s dad Dutch in a flashback… with the role cast does that mean we’re ready for him to not really be dead? Did we find a body in the watery crash? I think not. We should have three more episodes left, but as they sprinkle the repeats you can catch the pilot this Wednesday to get introduced, or reintroduced, to the characters properly.

Well the darlings of Dirty, Sexy, Money are keeping busy…

Of course the big mystery, Nick was told by the police that the report on his father’s downed plane showed it was an accident, really? Maybe not, as Simon Elder convinced Nick that if he got Tripp to put up the nostalgic Darling Plaza property in the big poker game he’d give him the undoctored copy of the report. So far Nick’s honesty is working alright for him, he told Elder that he didn’t know whether he could trust him and he confided with Tripp what Elder wanted. Tripp offered up the property in order to get to the truth, and when the game was lost, since Elder had the dealer, it wasn’t long before Darling Plaza was demo’d. For trying to convince Nick he’s the good guy Elder’s seeming a bit on the smarmy side. But Nick got the report which pointed to a mechanic, who not coincidentally turned up dead.

This isn’t Nick’s only problem of course, Karen hasn’t made it a big secret that she has always had a crush on Nick, but did manage to make it down the isle with pro golfer Freddy. She didn’t tell Nick she wanted him to write up her divorce until arriving at the reception, because Freddy declared that he really loved her. 3 million dollars later the annulment was final. She then declared to Nick that she really loved him before laying one on him. Instead of him telling her he didn’t love her, or something of the like, he mumbled a ‘gotta go’… then of course declared his love to his wife. Karen’s in full Nick mode and now mom Leticia is helping to bring them together, letting the kissing incident ‘slip’ to wifey.

All the while the twins tried to out compete each other for a best 25th birthday party and they both ended up unfulfilled and with Tripp deciding not to let them have their latest portion of their inheritence. Jeremy found out that his girlfriend and Juliet’s former bff was lying about being pregnant, or at least not telling when she found out she wasn’t. Juliet has somehow forgiven her since she wrote a new apology song about her biggest regret, apparently the bff is some sort of pop star. So while the bff’s are back in action Jeremy is trying to turn a new leaf and get a job. He’s starting as a valet at one of their properties and is sniffing around a woman who doesn’t know he’s a Darling so he can play ‘regular guy’.

Juliet’s other occupation has been entertaining Brain Junior. Our religious brother father Brain got found out for his illegitimate child posing as swedish exchange student. Though Juliet was having some fun playing dress up with him she actually convinced brother father that he needed to spend some time with him, perhaps the sweet kid will bring out a hidden good side. Mom just returned from a couple months in Brazil reportedly to see the son, but didn’t mind getting a little brother father action before deciding that she wanted to drag the tyke back to Brazil. Leave it to father brother to pray to god that the arbitrator on their custody takes his bribe.

Politico brother Pat had another break up with dad when he tried yet again to break up Pat’s relationship with his mistress who used to be a mister Carmelita, but she’s got too much sass to put up with that. And of course it wouldn’t be long before wifey started getting pissy, thanks to Elder’s secret update about the mistress. She was happy to broker a deal with Carmelita for his time when it was just sex, but when she found out he actually talked to Carmelita the Mrs. shot him. It was only in the leg…

Pat has also moved out and is now in bed, figuratively speaking, with Elder. Elder has grand schemes of saving New York. And Tripp didn’t mince words when telling Nick he wanted Elder utterly destroyed. And that started with telling the gang that Elder blames the Darlings for his parents death since the father’s worked together until the Elders were given the boot over rumors of an affair with Tripp’s mom. Then they were off to Russia which didn’t treat his parents well. Elder swung back by informing Nick that Tripp was involved in his brother’s death. Hmmm…

Are you still with me? Good. Tonight what new devastating secret will be revealed?