New and notable in the week ahead…
Monday
- The Bachelor (ABC, 8pm) Season Premiere – For those of you who missed the really nice guy with the kid from the Bachelorette… he gets to pick now.
- The Secret Life of the American Teenager (ABC Fam, 8pm) Season Premiere – I really tried to like this cheesy show but I just couldn’t groove with the bad characters and clunky dialogue.
- Masters of Illusion (MNT, 10pm) Series Premiere – Illusions will happen.
- Diettribe (Life, 10pm) Series Premiere – The ladies put it on together, and the ladies will take it off together.
- True Beauty (ABC, 10pm) Series Premiere -Vanessa Minnillo hosts this latest elimination series where it looks like shallow pretty folks are judged on inner beauty.
- Daddy’s Girls (MTV, 10:30pm) Series Premiere – This is apparently a spin off of Run’s House, and I don’t know what that is either.
Tuesday
- The Biggest Loser (NBC, 8pm) Season Premiere – And the losing continues, this round is couples.
- Homeland Security USA (ABC, 8pm) Series Premiere – I think this is kind of like an infomercial for homeland security.
- Scrubs (ABC, 9/9:30pm) Season Premiere – A new network and Courtney Cox takes over where Kelso left off, at least for now.
- Vice Squad (MNT, 9/9:30pm) Series Premiere – Like Cops but for Vice.
- Nip/Tuck (FX, 11pm) Season Premiere – And the guys keep doing what they do.
- Primetime: What Would You Do? (ABC, 10pm) Season Premiere – I think they cruelly make people witness awkward or illegal situations to see what they would do.
- Wreckreation Nation (Disc, 10pm) Series Premiere – Lawnmower racing and alligator wrestling are just a sample of things to come.
- 10 Items or Less (TBS, 11pm) Season Premiere – Scripted and improved grocery store humor.
Wednesday
- 13: Fear is Real (CW, 8pm) Series Premiere – Folks have now volunteered to be scared in this elimination show.
- People’s Choice Awards (CBS, 9pm) – The people have chosen.
- Barbara Walters Special (ABC, 10pm) – Patrick Swayze has a new cable series coming out and talks about that and his cancer.
- Damages (FX, 10pm) Season Premiere – Folks dig this Glen Close legal thriller but I never got on board.
- The Real World (MTV, 10pm) Season Premiere – It’s the 21st season and they’re heading to Brooklyn.
- Tyler Perry’s Meet the Browns (TBS, 10pm) Series Premiere – He started with House of Payne but here’s the latest.
Thursday
- Dragon’s Den (BBC, 8pm) Season Premiere – Folks pitch ideas to multimillionaires.
- Critic’s Choice Awards (VH1, 8:30/9pm) – Red carpet followed by the awards themselves as the critics pick.
- Greg Behrendt’s Wake-Up Call (Soap, 10pm) Series Premiere – Couples get help from Greg on their relationships.
- Snapped (Oxy, 10pm) Season Premiere – I think they look at photos of crimes.
Friday
- Howie Do It (NBC, 8pm) Series Premiere – I didn’t get Mandel’s Deal or No Deal and I don’t get these pull a prank on people shows.
- Flashpoint (CBS, 9pm) Season Premiere – This Strategic Response Unit ‘cop show’ is a decent procedural that’s back for another round.
- Lipstick Jungle (NBC, 9pm) Series Finale – The ladies wrap thier run with a little more drama and lipstick.
- Monk/Psych (USA, 9/10pm) Season Premiere(s) – The oddball crimefighters are back.
- Stargate Atlantis (Scifi, 9pm) Series Finale – Will they stop the threat to earth, is there a threat to earth?
Saturday
- Winter Dew Tour (NBC/USA, Sat/Sun, 2/12am, 1:30/1pm) – The winter action sports series is kickin’ it in Mount Snow Vt.
- My Big Redneck Wedding (CMT, 9pm) Season Premiere – Tom Arnold lends a sarcastic line or two to these trashy weddings.
- CMT Cribs (CMT, 9:30pm) Season Premiere – MTV cribs is doing it country-style.
Sunday
- Golden Globe Awards (NBC, 7/8pm) – The Hollywood Foreign Press Association hands out tv and movie honors.
- 24 (Fox, 8pm) Season Premiere – Jack’s back in some sort of fix, for hours.
- Toolacademy (VH1, 10pm) Series Premiere – Ladies send their boyfriends to get some coaching to be less of a tool.
- Battlestar Galactica (SciFi, 11pm) – Top ten things you need to know… I am still only up to season 2.