Lots of things kicking back in this week but so little to watch. The procrastinator’s single pick is underlined, it’s like a Where’s Waldo.
Monday
- Antiques Roadshow (PBS, 8pm) Season Premiere – Find the antiques on the road.
- The Bachelor (ABC, 8pm) Season Premiere – As I understand from the fans of this show, this is the boring guy who’s coming back, and he’s a pilot I guess.
- Emeril Green (PlGr, 8pm) Season Premiere – Emeril goes to Vermont.
- The Secret Life of the American Teenager/Make It Or Break It (ABCFam, 8/9pm) Season Premiere – First whiny teenagers then whiny teenagers who do gymnastics, though I have to admit I got a little hooked on MIOBI last season.
- Conveyor Belt of Love (ABC, 10pm) – I thought this was a joke, thirty men are given a minute to impress women.
- Blood, Sweat & Takeaways (PlGr, 10pm) Series Premiere – Six teens start by checking out the tuna industry.
Tuesday
- The Biggest Loser (NBC, 8pm) Season Premiere – This show doesn’t take much of a breather, this round is couples, which means pairs, oh and there’s a fattest contestant ever.
- Last Restaurant Standing (BBCA, 9pm) Season Premiere – Hopeful restaurateurs try to impress some chef.
- Wild Recon (AnPl, 9pm) Series Premiere – ‘Adventurer’ Donald Schultz tries to get ‘samples’ from deadly animals.
- Howe & Howe Tech (Disc, 10pm) Series Premiere – Follow this real life family owned engineering business.
- Life After People (Hist, 10pm) Season Premiere – What would happen to stuff if people disappeared?
- Maneaters (AnPl, 10pm) Series Premiere – We’re starting with sharks!
Wednesday
- Big Chef Takes on Little Chef (PlGr, 8pm) Series Premiere – Some established chef takes over some small English cafes, not as you may have thought a knife fight with a tall and short chef.
- People’s Choice Awards (CBS, 9pm) – Queen Latifah is hosting the awards of the people, I don’t remember anyone asking me who I thought deserved an award.
- Ghost Hunters International (Syfy, 9pm) Season Premiere – This season starts with looking for nazi ghosts.
- Conviction Kitchen (PlGr, 10pm) Series Premiere – Ex cons learn to cook.
- Nip/Tuck (Fx, 10pm) Season Premiere – I’ve never seen this show but apparently the plastic surgeon pair are back.
- Tailgate Takedown (TLC, 10/10:30pm) Series Premiere – USC vs. UCLA and Alabama vs. Florida, but the important question is whose food is better.
Thursday
- Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew (VH1, 10pm) Season Premiere – It’s the car-wreck show I just can’t look away from, Heidi Fleiss, Dennis Rodman, and Mackenzie Phillips is it good or bad that my cable is out?
Friday
- Shark Tank (ABC, 9pm) Season Premiere – Wacky or dumb inventions with battles or boredom over their development.
- What Not to Wear (TLC, 9pm) Season Premiere – Start the season with making over a ballet dancer.
- The Best Thing I Ever Ate (Food, 10pm) Season Premiere – Food Network hosts talk hometown food.
- Operation Wild (PlGr, 10pm) Series Premiere – First stop, lobster fishing.
- John Oliver’s New York Stand-Up Show (Com, 11pm) Series Premiere – I guess this is stand-up comedians hosted by John Oliver.
Saturday
- World’s Greenest Homes (PlGr, 6/6:30pm) Season Premiere – I wonder if any of these homes have a green decor.
Sunday
- The Simpsons (Fox, 8/8:30pm) – What do they have in store for the 450th episode, stay tuned for Morgan Spurlock’s special.
- Chuck (NBC, 9pm) Season Premiere – So Chuck is now downloaded with not just government secrets but much, much more, something tells me it will still be fun, the two hour return tonight is followed by tomorrow’s hour ep.
- Battlestar Galactica (Syfy, 9pm) – The special ‘The Plan’ takes a look at the series from the cylon’s POV.
- Big Love (HBO, 9pm) Season Premiere – The drama continues, ok I don’t watch this show and didn’t want to read the plot points but I hear it’s good.
- Iron Chef America (Food, 9pm) Season Premiere – Morimoto vs. Marino!
- Ax Men/Madhouse (Hist, 9pm) Season/Series Premieres – Logging and car racing!
- Masterpiece (PBS, 9pm) Season Premiere – Return to Cranford! Ok last exclamation point…
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