Monday

• House (Fox, 8pm) Series Finale – It’s time.
• Clash of the Commercials (CBS, 10pm) – It’s USA vs. the world.

Tuesday

• Hollywood Treasure (Syfy, 10pm) Season Premiere – Ruby red slippers for sale.
• Hip Hop Squares (Mtv2, 11pm) Series Premiere – Ok who remembers Hollywood Squares?

Wednesday

• American Idol (Fox, 8pm) Season Finale – Who is the next… person to go on to guest on next year’s Idol?
• Dev (MTV, 11pm) Series Premiere – Behind the scenes of a rising music star.

Thursday

• Duets/Rookie Blue (ABC, 8/10pm) Series Premiere – Sing with the judges for the win, Kelly Clarkson joins another reality show, then how long are you a Rookie?
• So You Think You Can Dance (Fox, 8pm) Season Premiere – Auditions begin.
• Men at Work (TBS, 10pm) Series Premiere – The latest sitcom with four dudes hanging and whatnot.
• Pin the Fly/Tattoo School (TLC, 9/10pm) Series Premiere – Behind the Southwest scenes and learn to tattoo.

Friday

• The Link (NGC, 7pm) Series Premiere – The link between things. like water wheels and mega jets.
• Insane or Inspired (Syfy, 10pm) Series Premiere – Countdown of top superhero videos.
• Mystery Diners (Food, 10pm) Series Premiere – Undercover diner investigations.

Saturday

• 24/7 (HBO, 9:30pm) Season Premiere – Pacquiao/Bradley.

Sunday

• On Sundays we rest.

The procrastinator lists items that may not be on your regular season pass, though notation does not imply recommendation other than those underlined. Times noted are typically PST.

Monday

• America’s Got Talent (NBC, 8pm) Season Premiere – Howard Stern joins.
• The Bachelorette (ABC, 9:30pm) Season Premiere – Dates, roses, whatever.
• Outlaw Empires (Disc, 10pm) Series Premiere – Kurt Sutter supplements Sons of Anarchy with a look at real life criminal organizations.

Tuesday

• Pregnant in Heels (Brav, 10pm) Season Premiere – Maternity concierge is pregnant herself.

Wednesday

• ANTM (CW, 8/9pm) – Maybe it’s time to check back in on the British invasion.

Thursday

• American Idol (Fox, 8pm) – Aren’t we done with this yet?

Friday

• Tron: Uprising, Beck’s Beginning (Dis, 9:30pm) Series Premiere – There’s more story to tell about Tron.

Saturday

• Hard Parts (Speed, 11pm) Series Premiere – Haven’t you always wanted to watch someone track down hard to find auto parts?

Sunday

• AMGEN Tour of California (NBC, 10am) – The cable coverage wraps up on NBC as the guys head into Los Angeles.
• Billboard Music Awards (ABC, 8pm) – Performances, awards.
• Keeping Up with the Kardashians (E!, 9pm) Season Premiere – Whatever.
• Jessie Stone: Benefit of the Doubt (CBS, 9pm) – Tom Selleck returns to the role that is much better than that Blue Bloods thing he does.
• Mrs Eastwood and Company (E!, 10pm) Series Premiere – Managing a South African singing group.
• Mystery Diners (Food, 10:30pm) Series Premiere – Can a hidden camera catch a thief?

The procrastinator lists items that may not be on your regular season pass, though notation does not imply recommendation other than those underlined. Times noted are typically PST.

Monday

• World’s Wildest Police Videos/Undercover Stings (Spike, 8/9pm) Season/Series Premiere – Needs no explanation.
• House Crashers (DIY, 11pm) Season Premiere – Kitchen remodel.
• Tanisha Gets Married (Oxy, 11pm) Series Premiere – Reality people do reality.

Tuesday

• The Devil’s Ride (Disc, 10pm) Series Premiere – Motorcycling dudes.
• United States of America (Hist, 10pm) Series Premiere – Comedic facts about America.

Wednesday

• Around the World in 80 Plates (Brav, 10pm) Series Premiere – Curtis Stone and food and some sort of challenges.
• White Heat (BBCA, 10pm) Series Premiere – Drama returns when reconnecting with college friends.

Thursday

• Indoors Out (DIY, 9pm) Season Premiere – Outdoor decor.

Friday

• Common Law (USA, 10pm) Series Premiere – The latest of the fluffy USA slight gimmick procedurals, buddy cops in therapy.
• The Half Hour (Com, 11pm) Series Premiere – Comic Rory Scovel.

Saturday

• Mom Caves (HGTV, 8:30pm) Series Premiere – A ladylike spin on Man Caves.
• Fish Tank Kings (Nat Geo, 10pm) Series Premiere – Tankable?

Sunday

• Desperate Housewives (ABC, 9pm) Series Finale – And the ladies sign off.
• The Next Food Network Star (Food, 9pm) Season Premiere – The next crop of competitors arrive.
• Sister Wives (TLC, 9pm) Season Premiere – Apartment living.

The procrastinator lists items that may not be on your regular season pass, though notation does not imply recommendation other than those underlined. Times noted are typically PST.

Monday

• The Pitch (AMC, 9pm) Series Premiere – After the preview the ad agencies return.
• Ridiculousness/Money From Strangers (MTV, 10/10:30pm) Season/Series Premiere – Beiber visits and then on the street pranks.
• Bath Crashers (DIY, 10:30pm) Season Premiere – Bath it up.

Tuesday

• Hip Hop & the LA Riots (VH1, 9pm) – Reflections twenty years later.

Wednesday

• The LA Complex (CW, 8pm) – In case you haven’t caught this fluffy new Canadian take on LA wannabes, I’ll definitely be checking out another episode.

Thursday

• 65 Red Roses (OWN, 9pm) – Oprah’s latest heartfelt doc shares a woman’s support awaiting a transplant.

Friday

• Goldfathers (NGC, 10pm) Series Premiere – Gold panning.
• In Plain Sight (USA, 10pm) Series Finale – Say goodbye to Mary and Marshall Marshall.

Saturday

• Treasure Island (Syfy, 7pm) Mini-series Premiere – Treasure map.
• The High Low Project/HGTV’s Great Rooms (HGTV, 8/9pm) Season Premieres – Decorate it up.

Sunday

• Giro d’Italia (NBC, 11am) – Let the racing begin.
• Sherlock (PBS, 9pm) Season Premiere – More mysteries.

The procrastinator lists items that may not be on your regular season pass, though notation does not imply recommendation other than those underlined. Times noted are typically PST.

Monday

• Top Gear (BBCA, 8:30pm) Season Premiere – Italian supercar shootout.

Tuesday

• Celebrities at Home/Million Dollar Rooms/White Room Challenge (HGTV, 8/8:30/9pm) Season/Series Premieres – Homes, rooms, decor.
• The L.A. Complex (CW, 9pm) Series Premiere – I think this is a Canadian take on Melrose Place.
• Yardcore (DIY, 9pm) Series Premiere – Outdoor restyling.

Wednesday

• American Guns/Auction Kings (Disc, 9/10pm) Season Premieres – Following firearms and auctions.
• Total Blackout (Syfy, 10pm) Series Premiere – Contestants face their fears in the dark.

Thursday

• Don’t Be Tardy for the Wedding (Brav, 9pm) Series Premiere – Real  Housewife gets married.
• 7 Days of Sex/The Conversation with Amanda de Cadenet (Life, 10/11pm) Series Premieres – Couples try to rekindle with sex and then Amanda chats with celebrities.

Friday

• Whale Wars: Operation Bluefin (AnPl, 8pm) Series Premiere – More whale wars.

Saturday

• Flipped Off (A&E, 10pm) Series Premiere – Flipping houses in Houston.
• Cloudstreet (Ova, 10pm) Mini-series Premiere – Another visit to another time.
• The Graham Norton Show/The Thick of It/Katy Brand’s Big Ass Show (BBCA, 8/9/9:40pm) Season Premieres – Interviews and comedies.

Sunday

• My Big Fat American Gypsy Wedding (TLC, 10pm) Series Premiere – Gypsy and traveler community celebrations.

The procrastinator lists items that may not be on your regular season pass, though notation does not imply recommendation other than those underlined. Times noted are typically PST.

Monday

• Eureka (Syfy, 9pm) Season Premiere – Another alt reality?
• Eden’s World (Logo, 10pm) Series Premiere – Another sign of the apocalypse, seven year old former pageanteer coaches others.
• Top Gear India/Richard Hammond’s Crash Course (BBCA, 8/10pm) Season/Series Premiere – Britsh cars, big vehicles.

Tuesday

• Mysteries at the Museum/Off Limits (Trav, 9/10pm) Season Premieres – Museum mysteries and Alcatraz fun.

Wednesday

• Park Secrets (Trav, 8pm) Series Premiere – Off the beaten park path.
• Coast Guard Alaska (Weath, 9pm) Season Premiere – Rescues return.

Thursday

• The Great American Manhunt (NGC, 9pm) Series Premiere – Forensic experts track down targets.
• Not Safe for Work (Tru, 9pm) Series Premiere – Clips.
• Kathy (Brav, 10pm) Series Premiere – Kathy Griffin talker.

Friday

• The Singing Bee/Jennie Garth: Little Bit Country/Melissa & Tye (CMT, 8/9/9:30pm) Season/Series Premieres – Sing it karaoke style, Jennie hits the country, and then we watch more reality people on reality shows.
• The Ricky Gervais Show (HBO, 9pm) Season Premiere – They’re back with Karl.
• The Dead Files (Trav, 10pm) Season Premiere – Lizzie Borden’s house.

Saturday

• Cats 101 (AnPl, 8pm) Season Premiere – Meow.

Sunday

• Fox’s 25th Anniversary Special (Fox, 8pm) – A look at some shows.
• The Real Housewives of New Jersey (Brav, 10pm) Season Premiere – Whatevs.
• Veep (HBO, 10pm) Season Premiere – Julia Louis-Dreyfus plays the latest vice president and we get a look at her personal and professional life.

The procrastinator lists items that may not be on your regular season pass, though notation does not imply recommendation other than those underlined. Times noted are typically PST.

Monday

• Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations/Hotel Impossible (Trav, 9/10pm) Season/Series Premiere – King cobras and then Kitchen Nightmares for hotels.
• Mama’s Boys of the Bronx (TLC, 10pm) Series Premiere – The reality of grown mean living with a parent.
• Meat Men (Food, 11pm) Series Premiere – The reality of meat purveyors.

Tuesday

• Deadliest Catch (Disc, 9pm) Season Premiere – Where to fish?
• Big Easy Justice (Spike, 10pm) Series Premiere – Bounty hunters in New Orleans.
• Dream Machines (Syfy, 10pm) Series Premiere – Making a fancy car.
• Love for Sail (Life, 10pm) Series Premiere – Women look for love on a cruise liner.
• Shannen Says (WE, 10pm) Series Premiere – Sadly she’s not quite the bad girl she once was, but for a look into the life of Shannen Doherty…

Wednesday

• Ghost Hunters (Syfy, 9pm) Season Premiere – Do fraternity houses have ghosts?
• Man v Food/Baggage Battles (Trav, 9/10pm) Season/Series Premiere – Eating 25 pulled pork sliders and bidding on left luggage?
• Sold! (Hist, 9pm) Series Premiere – The reality of auctioning in the Ozarks.
• Don’t Trust the B—- in Apartment 23 (ABC, 9:30pm) Series Premiere – Supposedly an amusing take on a bitch (that’s what the b—- stands for) and with James Van Der Beek playing himself worth tuning in.

Thursday

• Sins and Secrets (ID, 10pm) Season Premiere – Murder for hire.

Friday

• Say Yes to the Dress: Bridesmaids (TLC, 9pm) Season Premiere – Bad cuts, bad colors.

Saturday

• Titanic (ABC, 8pm) Miniseries Premiere – We all know what happened but here’s another look.
• Tanked (AnPl, 9pm) Season Premiere – Shark tank installation.
• 24/7 (HBO, 9:45pm) Season Premiere – Mayweather/Cotto.
• Last Chance Driving School (A&E, 10pm) Series Premiere – The reality of bad driving students.

Sunday

• Tough Love (vh1, 9pm) Season Premiere - The tough love hits New Orleans.
• NYC 22 (CBS, 10pm) Series Premiere – A new batch of rookie cops, do I yet again start to like a show with Adam Goldberg.
• Girls (HBO, 10:30pm) Series Premiere – The latest half hour dramedy these twenty-somethings might be worth a look.

The procrastinator lists items that may not be on your regular season pass, though notation does not imply recommendation other than those underlined. Times noted are typically PST.

Monday

• Undercover Boss: Abroad (TLC, 8pm) Series Premiere – Because all the US bosses are getting recognized?
• Yard Crashers (DIY, 9pm) Season Premiere – Yard transformations.

Tuesday

• Foodography Cook, 6pm) Season Premiere – More about food.
• Edge of War (Mil, 7pm) Series Premiere – A look at Hitler’s justifications.
• No Kitchen Required (BBCA, 7pm) Series Premiere – Chef’s dropped into exotic locations.
• Giuliana & Bill (Style, 8pm) Season Premiere – We’ve hear about the breast cancer, if you want to see them go through it…
• Dance Moms: Miami (Life, 10:30pm) Series Premiere – Because we need another one of these.
• Savage U (MTV, 11pm) Series Premiere – Dan Savage travels to colleges across the country to talk about sex.

Wednesday

• One Tree Hill (CW, 8pm) Series Finale – Is this show still on?
• Best Friends Forever (NBC, 8:30pm) Series Premiere – What’s a newly divorced gal to do but move in with her bestie and her bf, let the laughs begin (hopefully).

Thursday

• Truck Stop USA/Sand Masters (Trav, 8/9pm) Season Premieres – Racecourses and sand sculptors.
• Cold Blood (ID, 6pm) Season Premiere – Murder investigations.
• Scandal (ABC, 10pm) Series Premiere – Crisis management Shondra Rhimes style which means we can assume some soapy drama, worth a look.

Friday

• Motives & Murders (ID, 7pm) Series Premiere – Murder investigations.
• Python Hunters (NatGeo, 10pm) Season Premiere – Python hunting?

Saturday

• Shark Men (NGC, 8pm) Season Premiere – A new science team.
• Dear Genevieve (HGTV, 8:30pm) Season Premiere – Redesign.

Sunday

• Sunday Night Football (ESPN, 8pm) Season Premiere – Are you ready for some Football.
• Nurse Jackie/The Big C/The Borgias (Show, 9/9:30/10pm) Season Premiere – These are back.
• Wilson Phillips: Still Holding On (TVG, 9pm) Series Premiere – Weight loss and touring.
• The Client List (Life, 10pm) Series Premiere – Jennifer Love Hewitt gets a job at a day spa with happy endings, I have to watch just one.
• The Pitch (AMC, 11pm) Series Premiere – A reality series about ad agencies competing.

The procrastinator lists items that may not be on your regular season pass, though notation does not imply recommendation other than those underlined. Times noted are typically PST.

Monday

• Oprah’s Lifeclass (OWN, 8pm) Season Premiere – Iyanla joins Oprah for some chats.
• Secret Life of the American Teenager/Make it or Break it (ABCFam, 8/9pm) Season Premiere – More teen drama.
• Brooklyn 11223 (Oxy, 11pm) Series Debut – Join some 20 somethings for a little Brooklyn reality.

Tuesday

• Caught in the Act (Nat Geo, 8pm) Series Premiere – Animal voyeurism.
• Best Ink (Oxy, 10pm) Series Debut – Tattoo competitions, but who are the volunteer recipients?
• 16 and Pregnant (MTV, 10pm) Season Premiere – Pregnant cheerleader.

Wednesday

• Auction Hunters (Spike, 9pm) Season Premiere – Getting stuff.
• Whitechapel (BBCA, 10pm) Season Premiere – Murder in the workshop, BBC has been making me want to check out their series.

Thursday

• The Decrypters (NGC, 8pm) Series Premiere – Forensic scientists investigate.
• Mary Mary (WE, 10pm) Series Premiere – Following real life gospel duo.
• Punk’d/Pauly D Project (MTV, 10/10:30pm) Season Premiere – Can’t make me watch prank shows or Jersey Shore’s Pauly D.
• My Mom is Obsessed (Disc, 10pm) Series Premiere – Plastic surgery much?

Friday

• True Justice (Reelz, 9pm) Series Premiere – Steven Seagal goes undercover in Seattle, his character of course.
• Magic City (Starz, 11pm) Series Premiere – Drama in a Miami Beach luxury hotel in the 50s.

Saturday

• Sony Ericsson Open (CBS, 9:30am/Sun 10am) – Men’s and women’s final, tennis.
• Beverly’s Full House (OWN, 7pm) Series Premiere – Beverly Sims opens her house to family.
• Escape Routes (NBC, 8pm) Series Premiere – Another road trip challenge show.
• Kid’s Choice Awards (Nick, 8pm) – Will Smith hosts.
• Wild Scene Investigation (Nat Geo, 10pm) Series Premiere – Aren’t there animal culprits?
• Southern Nights (CMT, 10:30pm) Series Premiere – Cast members from “Sweet Home Alabama” (which was maybe a dating series?) live together in a house.

Sunday

• Annual Academy of Country Music Awards (CBS, 8pm) – Blake and Reba host.
• Great Expectations (PBS, 8pm) Miniseries Premiere – A look at Pip.
• The Killing (AMC, 8pm) Season Premiere – Who killed Rosie Larsen, and will I regret another season?
• Game of Thrones (HBO, 9pm) Season Premiere – I don’t actually know what this show is about but people like it.
• Snapped (Oxy, 9pm) Season Premiere – A look at some crimes.
• I Survived… Beyond and Back (Bio, 10pm) Season Premiere – These people actually flat lined.
• Wicked Tuna (NatGeo, 10pm) Series Debut – Tuna crews.

The procrastinator lists items that may not be on your regular season pass, though notation does not imply recommendation other than those underlined. Times noted are typically PST.

Monday

• Dancing with the Stars (ABC, 8pm) Season Premiere – Who goes home first the old person or the awkward athlete?
• La La’s Full Court Life/Styled by June (VH1, 9/9:30pm) Season /Series Premieres – Family drama and celebrity stylists.
• Rob Dyrdek’s Fantasy Factory (MTV, 10pm) Season Premiere – Kick flip it.

Tuesday

• Hardcore Pawn (Tru, 9:30pm) Season Premiere – Trade it.
• The Little Couple (TLC, 10pm) Season Premiere – Adoption?

Wednesday

• Bent (NBC, 9pm) Series Premiere – Will Amanda Peet’s type A gal fall for her crazy contractor in this latest sitcom?
• Duck Dynasty (A&E, 10pm) Series Premiere – A look at a family and their duck hunting gear business.
• House of Consignment (VH1, 10pm) Series Premiere – How to pick new staff.
• Real Vice (ID, 10pm) Series Premiere – Reenactments of Miami crimes.

Thursday

• Project Runway All Stars (Life, 9pm) Season Finale – I’m about six behind and am sure I will hear or read who wins.

Friday

• My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding (TLC, 10pm) Season Premiere – Beauty pageants and wedding gowns.

Saturday

• Ball Boys (ABC, 3pm) Series Premiere – Think sports memorabilia.

Sunday

• Long Island Medium/Leave it to Niecy (TLC, 9/10pm) Season/Series Premieres – What happens when your medium mom meets your boyfriend and getting your kids to know your new hubbie.
• Luck (HBO, 9pm) Series Finale – One horse too many went down.
• Mad Men (AMC, 9pm) Season Premiere – It’s back, though I have yet to begin this series.
• Mythbusters (Disc, 9pm) Season Premiere – Duct tape survival gets put to the test.

The procrastinator lists items that may not be on your regular season pass, though notation does not imply recommendation other than those underlined. Times noted are typically PST.