Monday

• America’s Got Talent (NBC, 8pm) Season Premiere – Howard Stern joins.
• The Bachelorette (ABC, 9:30pm) Season Premiere – Dates, roses, whatever.
• Outlaw Empires (Disc, 10pm) Series Premiere – Kurt Sutter supplements Sons of Anarchy with a look at real life criminal organizations.

Tuesday

• Pregnant in Heels (Brav, 10pm) Season Premiere – Maternity concierge is pregnant herself.

Wednesday

• ANTM (CW, 8/9pm) – Maybe it’s time to check back in on the British invasion.

Thursday

• American Idol (Fox, 8pm) – Aren’t we done with this yet?

Friday

• Tron: Uprising, Beck’s Beginning (Dis, 9:30pm) Series Premiere – There’s more story to tell about Tron.

Saturday

• Hard Parts (Speed, 11pm) Series Premiere – Haven’t you always wanted to watch someone track down hard to find auto parts?

Sunday

• AMGEN Tour of California (NBC, 10am) – The cable coverage wraps up on NBC as the guys head into Los Angeles.
• Billboard Music Awards (ABC, 8pm) – Performances, awards.
• Keeping Up with the Kardashians (E!, 9pm) Season Premiere – Whatever.
• Jessie Stone: Benefit of the Doubt (CBS, 9pm) – Tom Selleck returns to the role that is much better than that Blue Bloods thing he does.
• Mrs Eastwood and Company (E!, 10pm) Series Premiere – Managing a South African singing group.
• Mystery Diners (Food, 10:30pm) Series Premiere – Can a hidden camera catch a thief?

The procrastinator lists items that may not be on your regular season pass, though notation does not imply recommendation other than those underlined. Times noted are typically PST.

Monday

• Bachelor (ABC, 8pm) – Women tell all…
• Love Broker (Brav, 10pm) Series Premiere – Another matchmaker reality show.

Tuesday

• Breaking In (Fox, 9:30pm) Season Premiere – What happens when they sell the biz to Megan Mullally?
• Decision 2012 (NBC, 8pm) – Returns and analysis of Super Tuesday.
• American Digger (Spike, 11pm) Series Premiere – Excavation team.

Wednesday

• Doomsday Bunkers (Disc, 10pm) Series Premiere – Company that builds underground bunkers.
• Million Dollar Listing New York (Brav 10pm) Series Premiere – A few real estaters sell some property.
• My Crazy Obsession (TLC, 10pm) Series Premiere – More obsessions, too many cabbage patch kids?
• Happily Divorced (TVL, 10:30pm) Season Premiere – The return of Fran.

Thursday

• American Idol (Fox, 8pm) – Another one bites the dust.

Friday

• Ghost Adventures (Trav, 9pm) Season Premiere – Shanghai tunnels of Portland.
• Comedy Bang! Bang! (IFC, 10:30pm) Series Premiere – Experimental?

Saturday

• Game Change (HBO, 9pm) – Does Julianne Moore do a better Palin than Tina Fey.

Sunday

• Cupcake Wars (Food, 8pm) Season Premiere – Happy anniversary Girl Scouts.
• Bob’s Burger (Fox, 8:30pm) Season Premiere – Taffy tour.
• Coming Home (Life, 10pm) Season Premiere – Raiders reunion.
• Restaurant Stakeout (Food, 10pm) Series Premiere – Hidden cameras try to uncover the root of the restaurant problems.
• Shahs of Sunset (Brav, 10pm) Series Premiere – Persian pals.

The procrastinator lists items that may not be on your regular season pass, though notation does not imply recommendation other than those underlined. Times noted are typically PST.

Monday

• Australian Open (ESPN2, ongoing/various) – The play continues.
• The Revolution (ABC, 2pm) Series Premiere – Lifestyle experts transform.
• Alcatraz (Fox, 8pm) Series Premiere – Always willing to give JJ Abrams shows a shot, a mix of cops and supernatural, and a reason to see Hurley again on another island.
• Betty White’s 90th Birthday/Betty White’s Off Their Rockers (NBC, 8/9:30pm) Series Premiere – Everybody toasts Betty and then seniors play pranks what could be more hilarious.
• Being Human/Lost Girl (Syfy, 9/10pm) Season/Series Premiere – More irregular folks and the new/lost girl is a succubus.

Tuesday

• Remodeled (CW, 9pm) Series Premiere – More businesses get makeovers, this time modeling agencies.
• Ink Master (Spike, 10pm) Series Premiere – Nobody wants to be tattooed by the losers in this competition.
• Justified (Fx, 10pm) Season Premiere – Raylan I missed you.
• Ragin’ Cajuns (Disc, 10pm) Series Premiere – Shrimp fishing, or should i say fishin’.
• Southland (TNT, 10pm) Season Premiere – This cop show tends to not disappoint and this seasn’s guests include Lucy Liu.
• White Collar (USA, 10pm) Season Premiere – Who will betray who?

Wednesday

• American Idol (Fox, 8pm, and Thurs/Sun) Season Premiere – I keep saying I’m out, but depending on scheduling…
• Mistresses (BBCA, 10pm) Season Premiere – Relationship problems?
• Royal Pains (USA, 10pm) Season Premiere – More doctoring.

Thursday

• Archer/Unsupervised (Fx, 10pm) Season/Series Premiere – The return of the animated government agency followed by high school misfits.

Friday

• Shark Tank (ABC, 8pm) Season Premiere – Get your inventions ready.
• On Freddie Roach (HBO, 9:30pm) Series Premiere – A look at boxing trainer and Parkinson patient.
• Swanderosa (CMT, 10pm) Series Premiere – The Swan family hosts events on their Texas estate.

Saturday

• Drew Peterson: Untouchable (Life, 8pm) – I’m only including this because people are talking about how awesomely gross Rob Lowe is in it.
• Bayou Billionaires/My Redneck Vacation (CMT, 9/9:30pm) Series Premieres – More people out of their elements, with new money or new vacay locals.
• Idiot Abroad (Sci, 10pm) Season Premiere – More torturing of Karl.
• Scorned (ID, 10pm) Series Premiere – Investigating crimes where love has gone awry.

Sunday

• Prime Suspect (NBC, 9pm) – In case you were following the changing time slots on the remaining eps.

The procrastinator lists items that may not be on your regular season pass, though notation does not imply recommendation other than those underlined. Times noted are typically PST.

• American Idol (Fox) – This is the one show that I actually am planning to retire, but we’ll see how desperate I am mid-season after checking out X Factor, I find the week after week performances a bit redundant, the more interesting talent (good and bad) gets eliminated earlier than the bland but likable, and the judges lack of judging has caused my fast forwarding to become too much.
• America’s Next Top Model (CW) – I have skipped a couple seasons and think about dropping this every year, the model wannabes and their challenges are actually entertaining, and annoying, but again the week after week format with my not actually caring (or remembering) who wins is right on the brink.
• Chuck (NBC) – This show has been on my favorite list for many years because of the sharp wit of the juxtaposition of the spy world and the nerds of Buy More, as well as some genuine good chemistry, but I so tired of the family mythology… with that wrapped up and it extended for a final season I’ll check out the final 5 eps on TiVo (and still probably ride out the final season).
• Hawaii 5-0 (CBS) – The problem with this show is that it just isn’t that good, I like the joking between the leads, mostly thanks to Dano, but mostly don’t really follow the case of the week or care about the characters, though most weeks I’m game enough to see them romping through paradise chasing some scum balls, though if the TiVo backs up enough I still may delete all.
• House (Fox) – I get it, he’s curmudgeonly, and not in a ‘but he’s really a good guy’ kind of way, but he’s also a genius, but watching he and his staff almost kill or let a person die each week until they figure out the puzzle with a House a ha moment has gotten a bit redundant, with him kicking his self destruction up a notch and Cuddy exiting we’ll see if the dynamic intrigues.
• L&O: SVU (NBC) – This will be the last of the bunch and while I have tired of Olivia and Elliot, as well as some of the ripped from the headline sexual stories, I’m intrigued as to the change in dynamic that will come with Elliot not returning, hopefully a little more time with Munch and Tutuola.

Any other casualties out there?

Monday

• Bachelorette (ABC, 9pm) Season Premiere – Ashley (some girl who has done this before) returns to find her own dude.
• Clash of the Commercials (CBS, 10pm) – Favorite international commercials.

Tuesday

• American Idol (Fox, 8pm) – The two night finale kicks off on a special night with our two least offensive contestants.

Wednesday

• The Oprah Winfrey Show (ABC, 4pm*) Series Finale - The queen of daytime television officially hangs up her hat, too bad I don’t get her new network.

Thursday

• So You Think You Can Dance (Fox, 8pm) Season Premiere – More dancers and Mary Murphy is amongst the judges (she’s the loud one).
• Secret Diary of a Call Girl (Show, 10:30pm) Series Finale - I guess one can’t be a call girl forever.

Friday

• River Monsters (AnPl, 9/10pm) – This special installation of the monsters of the deep could be combined with the killer carp show scheduled on National Geographic tonight, happy summer swimming.

Saturday

• Revolver Golden Gods Awards (VH1 Cl, 10pm) – Metal!

Sunday

• My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding (TLC, 9pm) Series Premiere – This UK series follows the secretive community of gypsies.

The procrastinator lists items that may not be on your regular season pass, though notation does not imply recommendation other than those underlined. Times noted are typically PST.

Idol began with a great formula of funny personalities, train wrecks of performance, and enough actual talent to make you care. Unfortunately after we lost Paula, we realized how lucky they were with the initial judges. Paula may have been ‘the nice one’ but she was enough of a wild card that she was entertaining about it. Simon could be a prick but he was an amusing one and he was often the most insightful in calling out what we were all thinking in an amusingly insulting way. And Randy, well nobody could call out a ‘that was a little pitchy dawg’ like Randy.

So ignoring the transition judges, how are the new kids? Well they all seem to have a decent dynamic, get along, engage with each other and all that. Randy has stepped up to Simon’s chair and with it apparently the responsibility to tell it like it is. Unfortunately he’s not quite as critical and not quite as caustic and when a bunch of people are just fine I prefer a someone a little more perceptive and a little more funny. JLo and Steven Tyler have split up the Paula persona with enough nice to go around and although Steven is taking on a bit of the wild card I’m not sure it’s enough. Time will tell of course, they’re really just starting the live critiques of people who require more than a yay or nay.

What else has changed?

• The contestants are younger. Who cares. Though there might be one or two of the new kids who wouldn’t have been eligible I think for the most part they could come back next year and I wouldn’t miss them.
• Condensed semis. Potentially a good idea. The winnowing down period that is almost like the finals, but not, dragged on for quite a while with week after week of bad performances, but now one off night might mean the wrong finalists (though the dragging on process didn’t guarantee the right ones either).
• No more guest mentors. Thank gawd. Hanging with random artists and random critiques didn’t bring much, so hearing from A&M record’s Jimmy Lovine might give some real world feedback and his enlisted producers might help each of the arrangements work a little better, overall more entertaining, maybe not.
• Less extreme theme weeks. The jury is out. The more extreme themes (show tunes, country, etc.) brought out the worst in some of the singers who would never in reality be the kind of ‘artist’ who would sing such a thing, but it was sometimes illuminating to see how folks could handle a variety of material and ‘make it their own’ and also good for some bad performances.

And so who’s the next American Idol? The dudes are rocking it and although every year gives the option of a dark horse, I’m hoping red beard Casey, who seems to be talented and entertaining, can keep it going, and keep out of the hospital (ulcer?). I’m also keeping an eye on metalesque James and won’t count out belt it out Jacob and country boy Scotty.

Monday

• BET Honors (BET, 9pm) – Gabrielle Union hosts the tribute.
• Outrageous Kids Parties (TLC, 9:30pm) Series Premiere – It’s bad enough to see adults living over the top.

Tuesday

• American Treasures (Disc, 10pm) Series Premiere – An anthropologist and an archaeologist appraise treasures.
• The Real Housewives of Miami (Brav, 10pm) Series Premiere – Could there be more drama in Miami?

Wednesday

• ANTM/Shedding for the Wedding (CW, 8/9pm) Season/Series Premiere – I am torn about another season of the models to be, but not torn at all about watching couples compete.
• Ghost Hunters (Syfy, 9pm) Season Premiere – Could the hunters possibly not be done hunting?

Thursday

• American Idol (Fox, 8pm) – The judges unveil the top 20 semifinalists.

Friday

• DC Cupcakes (TLC, 10pm) Season Premiere – More attempts at spectacular cupcakes.

Saturday

• Secrets from a Stylist/The Antonio Treatment (HGTV, 9/9:30pm) Series/Season Premiere – More styley room makeovers.
• Independent Spirit Awards (IFC, 7pm) – Joel McHale hosts.

Sunday

• The Academy Awards (ABC, 4/5:30pm) – Find out who will be the best dressed, and who will win best pic.

The procrastinator lists items that may not be on your regular season pass, though notation does not imply recommendation other than those underlined. Times noted are typically PST.

Monday

• Lizard Lick Towing (Tru, 7pm) Series Premiere – Let’s follow a repo business.
• The Unpoppables (TLC, 8pm) Series Premiere – Let’s follow a balloon decorating business.
• Chicago Code (Fox, 9pm) Series Premiere – Chicago cop corruption, this one is actually reportedly good.
• Top Gear (BBCA, 7pm) Season Premiere – Hosts race cars.

Tuesday

• Only in America/Top Shot (Hist, 6/7pm) Series/Season Premiere – Larry the Cable Guy tours unique America and then the weapons competition starts again.
• Traffic Light (Fox, 9:30pm) Series Premiere – Another relationships sitcom, this one based on an Israeli version.
• 1000 Ways to Die (Spike, 10pm) Season Premiere – A creepy look at deaths.
• My Life as Liz (MTV, 11pm) Season Premiere – They’re following this Liz person to New York.

Wednesday

• Friday Night Lights (DirTV, 9pm) Series Finale – I’m only wrapped with season one so who knows what those kids are up to.
• Mr Sunshine (ABC, 9:30pm) Series Premiere – Matthew Perry rejoins the sitcom scene with Allison Janney and Andrea Anders.
• Justified (Fx, 10pm) Season Premiere – Raylan’s back, how long ’til he shoots someone?

Thursday

• American Idol (Fox, 8pm) – We’re finally heading to Hollywood.

Friday

• Be My Valentine, Charlie Brown/A Charlie Brown Valentine (ABC, 8pm) – Love is in the air.
• Auction Packed (NGC, 9pm) Series Premiere – More auction stuff.

Saturday

• Must Love Cats (AnPl, 8pm) Series Premiere – All things cat.
• The Sunset Limited (HBO, 9pm) – Tommy Lee Jones directs and stars with Samuel L. Jackson in this adaptation of the Cormac McCarthy play.

Sunday

• Fatal Attractions (AnPl, 7pm) Season Premiere – Tiger in the neighborhood.
• The British Academy Film Awards (BBCA, 8pm) – The King’s Speech leads the nominations but who will win?
• Grammy Awards (CBS, 8pm) – Eminem leads the nominations but who will win?

The procrastinator lists items that may not be on your regular season pass, though notation does not imply recommendation other than those underlined. Times noted are typically PST.

Monday

• Being Human (Syfy, 9pm) Series Premiere – A take on an imported show, this one a Vampire, a Ghost, and a Werewolf, maybe not as good as the original but I haven’t seen any so worth a shot.
• Piers Morgan Tonight (CNN, 9pm) Series Premiere – Larry King has bequeathed his throne, and Oprah pops by for a chat.
• Harry’s Law (NBC, 10pm) Series Premiere – Kathy Bates is the latest lawyer in David E Kelley’s roster (McBeal, B Legal) sure to be filled with eccentrics.
• Heavy (A&E, 10pm) Series Premiere – Following overweight folks trying to turn things around.
• Skins (MTV, 10pm) Series Premiere – And another take on an import, now see what the crazy teens do in the US, again also maybe not supposed to be cast as well as the English but I’ll tune in.

Tuesday

• Life Unexpected (CW, 8pm) Series Finale – Not sure this CW show ever quite caught on, and not just because the girl in high school looks more like her parents unrelated younger friend.
• White Collar (USA, 10pm) Season Premiere – I do enjoy a suave con man helping the FBI solve cases.

Wednesday

• American Idol (Fox, 8pm, and Thursday) Season Premiere – Has Idol lost its magic? Will you tune in at least for a couple to see how the new kids work out? I’ll tune in until I can’t stand it any longer.
• Hot in Cleveland/Retired at 35 (TVL, 10/10:30pm) Season/Series Premiere – These shows are like 70s sitcoms reruns except original.

Thursday

• Perfect Couples/Parks & Rec (NBC, 8:30/9:30pm) Series/Season Premiere – There’s a few of these new sitcoms with a few young couples, and time will tell if any of them can get over their predicted mediocre starts, and then of course the return of the quirky folks who are trying to keep their department together, joining the new all comedy lineup.
• Masters of Survival (Disc, 9pm) Series Premiere – Multiple folks give multiple tips for surviving multiple locations.
• Royal Pains/Fairly Legal (USA, 9/10pm) Season/Series Premiere – The return of the vacation doctor and the start of lawyer turned mediator with that spunky chic who was the partner of the main guy on Life.

Friday

• Onion News Network/Portlandia (IFC, 7/7:30pm) Series Premieres – Funny stories, funny skits.
• Kitchen Nightmares (Fox, 8pm) Season Premiere – Ramsay helps more restaurateurs.
• Medium (CBS,8pm) Series Finale – I didn’t know this show was still on.
• My Big Redneck Wedding (CMT, 9pm) Season Premiere – When you think wedding you think mudsledding.
• Spartacus: Gods of the Arena (Starz, 10pm) Series Premiere – As the primary series takes a break (the main character sadly has cancer) they’re doing a quick prequel.

Saturday

• A Idiot Abroad (Sci, 10pm) Series Premiere – Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant put their ‘idiot’ friend into travel situations.

Sunday

• Kourtney & Kim Take New York/Holly’s World (E!, 10/10:40pm) Series/Season Premieres – This Kardashian show is somehow different from the other ones, and then some playboy bunny or playmate or someone does stuff.

Monday

• Romantically Challenged (ABC, 9:30) Series Premiere – I do root for Alyssa Milano but it makes me doubtful when the promo jokes make me cringe.
• Dhani Tackles the Globe (Trav, 11pm) Season Premiere – Not just tackling the globe but cycling.

Tuesday

• The Lazy Environmentalist (Sund, 8pm) Season Premiere - I think if you have more money it’s easier to be lazy.
• Deadliest Warrior (Spike, 10pm) Season Premiere – American SWAT vs German CSG-9.

Wednesday

• Wa$ted (PlGr, 5pm) Season Premiere – Tips on stuff folks huck, first ep bakery good, not composting bad.
• American Idol: Idol Gives Back (Fox, 8pm) – Another episode I can fast forward through because at the end there is an elimination.
• Weird or What? (Disc, 8pm) Series Premiere - Investigating the weird and creepy including ‘killer ice’.

Thursday

• 30 Rock (NBC, 8:30/9:30pm) – A double dose of Liz and Jack.

Friday

• Say Yes to the Dress (TLC, 6pm) Season Premiere – The ladies love to try on.
• Swamp Loggers (Disc, 6pm) Season Premiere - The loggers return to a site that’s beaten them before.
• Chandon Pictures (Sund, 8/8:30pm) Season Premiere – The filmmakers in this Australian series return for more docs and drama.
• Party Down/Gravity (Starz, 10:30pm) Season/Series Premiere – The return of the amusing caterers and the start of a new com/dram about a suicide survivor support group.

Saturday

• The Guard (Ion, 10pm) Season Premiere – The Canadian Coast Guard keeps saving those lives.

Sunday

• Into the Universe with Stephen Hawking (Disc, 8pm) Series Premiere – This documentary talks topics like alien life and time travel.
• America the Story of Us (Hist, 9pm) Series Premiere – And history.
• River Monsters (AnPl, 6/7pm) Season Premiere – Tigerfish and stingrays.
• TV Land Awards (TVL, 9pm) – Tim Allen hosts, including a tribute to  Farrah Fawcett.
• Girl Meets Gown (WE, 10pm) Series Premiere – In case you missed Say Yes to the Dress.