new and noteworthy tv: 6/7-6/13

Looks like I’ll have more time to finish off Six Feet Under…

Monday

  • Last Comic Standing/Persons Unknown (NBC, 8/10pm) Season/Series Premiere – Comic competition, and then a series being plugged as a miniseries so perhaps it won’t get canceled mid-mystery.
  • Behind the Music (VH1, 8pm) Season Premiere – Haven’t you always wondered if there was more to DMX than meets the eye?
  • The Secret Life of the American Teenager (ABCFam, 8pm) Season Premiere – More pregnancy?
  • American Pickers/Pawn Star$ (Hist, 9/10pm) Season Premieres – Studebaker, motorcycle, and Ford truck among other finds.
  • Last American Cowboy (AnPl, 10pm) Series Premiere – The latest reality starts with Montana ranchers.
  • Neighbors from Hell (TBS, 10pm) Series Premiere – This new animated series finds a family visiting from Hell posing as a normal suburban family.
  • Dance Your Ass Off (Oxy, 11pm) Season Premiere – Mel B takes over as host as folks try fitness to the beat.

Tuesday

  • Pretty Little Liars (ABCFam, 8pm) Series Premiere – The posters make me want this to be like a Heathers, but I doubt it will be.

Wednesday

  • CMT Music Awards (CMT, 7/8pm) – Kid Rock hosts, I forgot he was country now.
  • Man v. Food (Trav, 10pm) Season Premiere – I don’t know why if you are going to eat a lot of steak you’d want to do it fast.
  • You’re Cut Off/Bridal Bootcamp (VH1, 9/10pm) Series Premieres – Watch the real life privileged suffer, then watch brides suffer for their goal: dream weddings.
  • The Singing Bee (CMT, 10:30pm) Season Premiere – Karaoke competition anyone?
  • Work of Art (Brav, 11pm) Series Premiere – Fourteen rising artists compete for art stuff.

Thursday

  • Bethenny’s Getting Married (Brav, 10pm) Series Premiere – Spinning off from housewives means this is another show I can just skip.
  • Penn & Teller/The Green Room with Paul Provenza (Show, 10/10:30pm) Season/Series Premiere – First mocking of cheerleaders and then more general mocking with a round table of comedians.

Friday

  • Fifa World Cup Kick-Off Celebration Concert (ABC, 8pm) – Alicia Keyes, Black Eyed Peas… more music.
  • Dual Survival (Disc, 10pm) Series Premiere – This reality series starts with a couple folks shipwrecked.
  • The Whitest Kids u’ Know (IFC, 11pm) Season Premiere – Sketch comedy anyone?
  • Glenn Martin DDS (Nick, 10:30pm) Season Premiere – Brett Michaels continues his overbooking with a voice over on this show.

Saturday

  • The Jaquie Brown Diaries (Logo, 10:30pm) Series Premiere – New Zealand celebrity plays herself.

Sunday

  • Tony Awards (CBS, 8pm) – Sean Hayes hosts.
  • Unnatural History (Cart, 8pm) Series Premiere – Live action mystery in DC.
  • True Blood (HBO, 9pm) Season Premiere – There’s blood, and its true.
  • Cupcake Wars (Food, 10pm) Series Premiere – Not sure this needs much elaboration, although lest you think it’s an actual war, it’s just a cupcake making competition.
  • HGTV Design Star/Color Splash (HGTV, 10/11pm) Season Premieres – Goes from white to color.
  • Kourtney & Khloe Take Miami/Holly’s World (E!, 10pm) Season Premiere – Enough with the reality stars already…
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new and noteworthy tv: 5/31-6/6

Most of the network shows are off but there’s always some cable action to keep you entertained. Procrastinator picks are underlined.

Monday

  • The Best Thing I Ever Ate (Food, 9pm) Season Premiere – Grill it up.
  • Cake Boss (TLC, 9pm) Season Premiere – They cake for others they cake for themselves.
  • Brett Michals Life as I Know It/Dad Camp (VH1, 10pm) Series Premieres – A preview into the series that will look at Brett at home which I fear is not just l a lot of rest for him then some new dads get some training.
  • True Beauty (ABC, 10pm) Season Premiere – Ten folks are judges on their inner beauty, whilst thinking they are competing on their outer beauty.

Tuesday

  • America’s Got Talent (NBC, 8pm) Season Premiere – Howie Mandel replaces the Hoff at the judges table for the latest crop of random ‘talent’,
  • Hell’s Kitchen (Fox, 8pm) Season Premiere – More competing, more yelling.
  • One Big Happy Family/The Little Couple (TLC, 9/9:30/10pm) Season Premieres – People do things.
  • Jersey Couture (Oxy, 10pm) Series Premiere – Getting on board with the Jersey reality trend we follow a family who runs a dress shop.
  • Losing It With Jillian (NBC, 10pm) Series Premiere – The bitchy trainer from Loser takes on families where they live.
  • Downtown Girls (MTV, 11pm) Series Premiere – Another reality look at folks not doing stuff, this focuses on girls in downtown NY.

Wednesday

  • Are We There Yet? (TBS, 9pm) Series Premiere – Ice Cube takes this film of blended family to the small screen.
  • Ghost Hunters Academy (Syfy, 9pm) Season Premiere – How many ghost hunting series are there?
  • Tosh.0 (Com, 10:30pm) Season Premiere – Hosting another round of web comedy whatnot.
  • Half Pint Brawlers (Spike, 11pm) Series Premiere – Little person wrestling.

Thursday

  • Burn Notice/Royal Pains (USA, 9pm) Season Premieres – More spy shenanigans and medical machinations.
  • NBA Finals (ABC, 6/8:30/9pm pst) – Let the games begin, followed by a special post show, and special Kimmel.

Friday

  • Scripps National Spelling Bee (ABC, 8pm) – Can you use the word in a sentence please?
  • Flashpoint (CBS, 9pm) Season Premiere – The Canadian SRU tactical team is back for another season of saves.
  • The Neistat Brothers (HBO, 11:59pm) Series Premiere – The series follows the brothers and their short films.

Saturday

  • Three Rivers (CBS, 8pm) – Dusting off this canned show for a little burn off.

Sunday

  • Bridezillas (WE, 8/9pm) Season Premieres – Goth and Vegas weddings.
  • Drop Dead Diva (Life, 9pm) Season Premiere – Our funny model protagonist now in a lawyer’s body faces disbarment.
  • Ice Road Truckers/Top Shot (Hist, 9/10pm) Season Premiere – New truckers and then shooters.
  • MTV Movie Awards/The Hard times of RJ Berger (MTV, 9pm) Series Premiere – Aziz Ansari hosts and then the latest scripted offering, a coming of age story of a gentleman who is well endowed.
  • The Next Food Network Star (Food, 9pm) Season Premiere – Who is camera ready?
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new and noteworthy tv: 5/24-5/30

Is it time to switch from tv shows to tv shows via Netflix?

Monday

  • HIMYM/Rules of Engagement/2 1/2 Men/Big Bang Theory/CSI: Miami (CBS, 8-11pm) Season Finales – Laugh, almost laugh, kind of laugh, laugh, and then random David Caruso.
  • 24 (Fox, 8pm) Series Finale – There’s still talk of a movie say Jack probably doesn’t die, but some other people probably will.
  • Chuck/Law & Order (NBC, 8/10pm) Season/Series Finale – Two hours of Chuck kicking some Ring ass, Chuck-style then there will be plenty of Law & Orders, and of course repeats, to fill this gap but get ready to say goodbye to the originator of the chung chung.
  • 10 Things I Hate About You (ABCFam, 8/8:30pm) Series Finale – I guess they’ve run through all ten things.
  • The Bachelorette (ABC, 9pm) Season Premiere – That girl who was on the Bachelor but left and tried to come back tries to pick some dudes.

Tuesday

  • The Biggest Loser/Parenthood (NBC, 8pm) Season Finale – One of the losers wins and then I’ve been sucked back into Parenthood, who can resist Lauren Graham?
  • NCIS/NCIS LA/The Good Wife (CBS, 8/9/10pm) Season Finale – Blah, blah, and then my favorite new drama continues to balance great characters, courtroom drama, and political intrigue.
  • Dancing with the Stars (ABC, 9pm) Season Finale – Following Tuesday’s performances the latest winner is crowned.

Wednesday

  • American Idol (Fox, 8pm) Season Finale – Following Tuesday’s final performances we pick the final two and say bye to Simon hopefully in only the two hours and seven minutes scheduled.
  • Criminal Minds/CSI: NY (CBS, 9/10pm) Season Finales – Death and criminals.

Thursday

  • Flash Forward/Hollywood Salutes Matt Damon (ABC, 8/9pm) Series Finale – Say goodbye to the visions and then for some reason we’re saluting Matt Damon.
  • So You Think You Can Dance (Fox, 8pm) Season Premiere – Dance baby dance.
  • 100 Questions (NBC, 8:30pm) Series Premiere – Not a gameshow, it’s a sitcom where folks flash back to questions answered on a dating survey.
  • Police Women of Memphis/Mall Cops (TLC, 9/10pm) Season/Series Premiere – And more of these…
  • The OCD Project (VH1, 10pm) Series Premiere – What happens when you put OCD folks in a house together and things start getting real?

Friday

  • Past Life (Fox, 8pm) – Time to burn off this long ago canceled show.

Saturday

  • Red Dead Redemption (Fox, 11:59pm) – Video game comes to life.

Sunday

  • National Memorial Day Concert (PBC, 8pm) – Gary Sinise and Joe Mantegna host the tribute to the military featuring Lionel Richie and Brad Paisley.
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new and noteworthy tv: 5/17-5/23

I could talk about the one new show and Lost, Lost, Lost, but I guess we can talk about finales, what will they bring?

Monday

  • House (Fox, 8pm) Season Finale – Can House save another?
  • One Tree Hill (CW, 8pm) Season Finale – Are those kids still living in One Tree Hill?
  • Gossip Girl (CW, 9pm) Season Finale – Will Georgina’s return bring more drama?
  • Castle (ABC, 10pm) Season Finale – Will Castle declare his love for Beckett?

Tuesday

  • 90210 (CW, 8pm) Season Finale – Drama? Romance? Arson?
  • V (ABC, 10pm) Season Finale – What are those Vs up to?

Wednesday

  • The Good Guys (Fx, 8pm) Series Premiere – Bradley Whitford and Colin Hanks give the odd couple buddy cop show another avenue, the series premieres in its regular timeslot on 6/7.
  • The Middle/Modern Family/Cougar Town (ABC, 8:30-10pm) Season Finales – Did Cougar Town actually become one of my favorite comedies?
  • Law & Order: SVU (NBC, 10pm) Season Finale – Will Sharon Stone be the next ADA to leave?

Thursday

  • Bones/Fringe (Fox, 8/9pm) Season Finales – Will we continue to see creepy death and just plain creepy?
  • Community/Parks & Recreation/The Office /30 Rock/The Marriage Ref (NBC, 8-11pm) Season Finales – Will Community keep up the goodness? Will the other comedies return to goodness? Will I ever watch an ep of Ref?
  • CSI/The Mentalist (CBS, 9pm) Season Finale – Will death hit close to home? Will the psychic detective solve another?
  • Grey’s Anatomy (ABC, 9pm) Season Finale – What good could Mandy Moore bring to Grey’s?

Friday

  • Ghost Whisperer/Medium/Miami Medical (CBS, 8/9pm) Season Finale – If they don’t survive Miami Medical will one of the ladies talk to their ghosts?
  • Kitchen Nightmares (Fox, 9pm) Season Finale – Will the Chef ever stop yelling?

Saturday

  • Golden God Awards (VH1 Classic, 10pm) – Metal awards?

Sunday

  • Lost (ABC, 7/9) Series Finale – Will Jack wake to find it was all a dream?
  • Brooks & Dunn (CBS, 8pm) – Whatever.
  • The Simpsons/The Cleveland Show/Family Guy (Fox, 8-10pm) Season Finale – Will animation domination be funny?
  • The Apprentice (NBC, 9pm) Season Finale – Will anyone care who wins?
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new and noteworthy tv: 5/10-5/16

Aside from all the shows wrapping up there are a few other items you could catch, though not sure you’d really want to…

Monday

  • Undateable (VH1, 10pm) Series Premiere – What are the Top 100 Things that guys do that are deal breakers, find out over every night this week?

Tuesday

  • Ashes to Ashes (BBCA, 10pm) Season Premiere – What happens after Life on Mars when we hit the 80s, something tells me there won’t be a US version of this series after the hasty end of Mars.

Wednesday

  • ANTM (CW, 8pm) Season Finale – A special two hour episode where we find out who is the fiercest.

Thursday

  • Toughest Military Jobs (Military, 9pm) Series Premiere – Really there’s a Military channel?

Friday

  • Gavin & Stacey/Not Going Out (BBCA, 9/9:40pm) Season Premiere(s) – More British fun.

Saturday

  • A New Smile, A New Life (CW, 8pm) – For those desperate for a feel good moment, check out Roma Downey and Operation Smile.

Sunday

  • Miss USA Pageant (NBC, 7pm) – Goodness, which shellacked beauty will get the crown?
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new and noteworthy tv: 5/3-5/9

Monday

  • Best Food Ever (TLC, 9pm) Series Premiere – America’s best food starts with the sandwich.
  • Big Bang Theory (CBS, 9pm) – At this special time we see what happens now that Penny and Leonard aren’t an item.
  • The Real Housewives of New Jersey (Brav, 10pm) Season Premiere – The ladies, if you can call them that, are back.

Tuesday

  • Women Behind Bars (WE, 10pm) Season Premiere – Profiles of some new women, who are, yes you guessed it, are in prison.

Wednesday

  • How’d You Get So Rich? (TVL, 10pm) Season Premiere – Joan Rivers really wants to know.
  • Worst-Case Scenario (Disc, 10/10:30pm) Series Premiere – You’ve seen Bear Grylls get out of nature and now he’ll show you how to get out of things like burning vehicles.

Thursday

  • The Imploders/Heavy Haulers (TLC, 9/10pm) Series Premiere – The team takes down some smokestacks then another hauls heavy things.
  • The Dudesons in America/Ultimate Parkour Challenge (MTV, 10/10:30pm) Series Premiere – Think JackAss but Finnish then the athletes start at the Queen Mary.

Friday

  • Friday Night Lights (NBC, 8pm) Season Premiere – It’s Friday, and the football team returns, with lights.
  • Need to Know (PBS, 8:30pm) Series Premiere – The latest news magazine.
  • What Would You Do? (ABC, 9pm) Season Premiere – Hidden cameras catch folks in awkward situations.

Saturday

  • That Metal Show (VH1 Cl, 11pm) Season Premiere – Heavy Metal is discussed, and maybe you’ll hear some.

Sunday

  • Jesse Stone: No Remorse (CBS, 9pm) – Another round of Tom Selleck in the title role of the Robert Parker books.
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new and noteworthy tv: 4/26-5/2

Monday

  • Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern (Trav, 10pm) Season Premiere – What’s to eat in the Australian Outback?
  • Diners, Drive-ins & Dives (Food, 10pm) Season Premiere – More grub.

Tuesday

  • Food Party/Dinner with the Band (IFC, 10pm) Season Premieres – Ok just read the show synopsis on Food Party and not sure what a fifteen minute episode with a fringe artist, puppets, and food would be but I’m tempted to find out, then Rufus Wainwright.
  • The Hills/The City (MTV, 1/10:300pm) Season Premieres – I can’t even pretend to care about these shows.

Wednesday

  • Sunset Daze (WE, 10pm) Series Premiere – Reality fare hits the retirement home.
  • Happy Town (ABC, 10pm) Series Premiere – Something tells me that this town name is ironic as the murders hit.

Thursday

  • Sober House (VH1, 10pm) Season Finale – We know they won’t all make it but here’s hoping this train-wreck of a house did more good than bad for its residents.

Friday

  • Now (PBS, 8:30pm) Series Finale – Now is apparently no longer a relevant topic.

Saturday

  • Nascar (Fox, 7pm) – Cars go round in the Richmond 500.

Sunday

  • Cold Case (CBS, 9/10pm) Season Finale – Kicking off a little early this week to wrap up a two-parter in what could be the last we see f this show.
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new and noteworthy tv: 4/19-4/25

Still hoping to get caught up enough on tv to get back to some tv on dvd… procrastinator recommendations underlined.

Monday

  • Romantically Challenged (ABC, 9:30) Series Premiere – I do root for Alyssa Milano but it makes me doubtful when the promo jokes make me cringe.
  • Dhani Tackles the Globe (Trav, 11pm) Season Premiere – Not just tackling the globe but cycling.

Tuesday

  • The Lazy Environmentalist (Sund, 8pm) Season Premiere – I think if you have more money it’s easier to be lazy.
  • Deadliest Warrior (Spike, 10pm) Season Premiere – American SWAT vs German CSG-9.

Wednesday

  • Wa$ted (PlGr, 5pm) Season Premiere – Tips on stuff folks huck, first ep bakery good, not composting bad.
  • American Idol: Idol Gives Back (Fox, 8pm) – Another episode I can fast forward through because at the end there is an elimination.
  • Weird or What? (Disc, 8pm) Series Premiere – Investigating the weird and creepy including ‘killer ice’.

Thursday

  • 30 Rock (NBC, 8:30/9:30pm) – A double dose of Liz and Jack.

Friday

  • Say Yes to the Dress (TLC, 6pm) Season Premiere – The ladies love to try on.
  • Swamp Loggers (Disc, 6pm) Season Premiere – The loggers return to a site that’s beaten them before.
  • Chandon Pictures (Sund, 8/8:30pm) Season Premiere – The filmmakers in this Australian series return for more docs and drama.
  • Party Down/Gravity (Starz, 10:30pm) Season/Series Premiere – The return of the amusing caterers and the start of a new com/dram about a suicide survivor support group.

Saturday

  • The Guard (Ion, 10pm) Season Premiere – The Canadian Coast Guard keeps saving those lives.

Sunday

  • Into the Universe with Stephen Hawking (Disc, 8pm) Series Premiere – This documentary talks topics like alien life and time travel.
  • America the Story of Us (Hist, 9pm) Series Premiere – And history.
  • River Monsters (AnPl, 6/7pm) Season Premiere – Tigerfish and stingrays.
  • TV Land Awards (TVL, 9pm) – Tim Allen hosts, including a tribute to  Farrah Fawcett.
  • Girl Meets Gown (WE, 10pm) Series Premiere – In case you missed Say Yes to the Dress.
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new and noteworthy tv: 4/12-4/18

Monday

  • Snakes’kin (AnPl, 7/7:30pm) Series Premiere – A family of animal responders in Georgia, and there’s snakes.
  • Tough Love (VH1, 9pm) Series Premiere – He tried to get tough on single girls and now he and his mom are taking on couples.

Tuesday

  • Tiny & Toya (BET, 7pm) Season Premiere – They’re back, though I don’t know who ‘they’ are.
  • Deadliest Catch/Construction Intervention (Disc, 9/10pm) Season/Series Premiere – First we follow the seafarers then we check in with some construction workers who start with a restaurant redo.
  • Glee (Fox, 9:28pm) – If I weren’t so looking forward to its return I would boycott for the 9:28 start time.
  • 9 by Design (Brav, 11pm) Series Premiere – We follow interior design couple through real estate and home life of 6+ kids.

Wednesday

  • Ugly Betty (ABC, 10pm) Series Finale – Will Betty be beautiful or has she been all along.

Thursday

  • Weird, True & Freaky (AnPl, 6/6:30pm) Season Premiere – Animals that eat mind altering substances and then primates gone wild, you know for a primate.
  • SNL in the 2000s (NBC, 9pm) – Looking back on a decade worth of clips I bet they can find some funny.

Friday

  • Secrets of the Mountain (NBC/KRON, 8pm) – What will the family find when they go up to the cabin they’re going to sell, I’m guessing secrets.

Saturday

  • Doctor Who (BBCA, 8/9pm) Season Premiere – Tune in at 8 for a little more about the doc and then jump back in.
  • The Graham Norton Show (BBCA, 10:07pm) Season Premiere – The season talker opens with Ricky Gervais among others.

Sunday

  • Riverworld (Syfy, 7/9pm) – Let’s hope this miniseries fares better than Waterworld.
  • Academy of Country Music Awards (CBS, 8pm) – Reba hosts and I think a former American Idol performs.
  • Chefs vs City (Food, 10pm) Season Premiere – It’s a foodie face-off!
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new and noteworthy tv: 4/5-4/11

Procrastinator picks are underlined… intrigued by the new HBO series at least, though can’t bring myself to pay for HBO.

Monday

  • NCAA Men’s Championship (CBS, 6pm) – The title game in Indianapolis.
  • Runaway Squad (A&E, 10pm) Series Premiere – A search for runaways to reunite them with their families.
  • Tori & Dean (Oxy, 10pm) Season Premiere – Do we really want to see them take an RV road trip?

Tuesday

  • Chopped (Food, 10pm) Season Premiere – Rattlesnake meat?

Wednesday

  • Criminal Minds (CBS, 9pm) – I only occasionally tune in to this show but am intrigued by the promise of a spin-off with tonight’s look at another BAU unit led by Forest Whitaker.
  • Peep Show/That Mitchell & Webb Look (BBCA, 9pm) Season Premiere – Roomie shenanigans and sketch comedy.
  • The Real World/Road Rules Challenge (MTV, 10pm) Season Premiere – They’re at it again.
  • Top Chef Masters (Brav, 11pm) Season Premiere – New competing chefs and a new judge at the table.

Thursday

  • Bones (Fox, 8pm) – The 100th episode brings Booth and Bone’s first case together.

Friday

  • Gator 911/Danger Coast (CMT, 9/9:30pm) Series Premieres – Gators and water rescues.
  • Private Chefs of Beverly Hills (Food, 10pm) Series Premiere – We’re following yet another profession, caterers to the over the top.

Saturday

  • 24/7 (HBO, 10pm) Season Premiere – Floyd Mayweather and Shane Mosley.

Sunday

  • Brandy & Ray J/Basketball Wives/What Chilli Wants (VH1, 9/10/10:30pm) Series Premieres – More reality fare.
  • The Tudors (Show, 9pm) Season Premiere – Henry takes a fifth wife.
  • Army Wives (Life, 10pm) Season Premiere – More drama.
  • Treme (HBO, 10pm) Series Premiere – A new drama, from the creators of The Wire, set in New Orleans following Katrina.
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