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I made a decree a few years ago that I wasn’t adding any more reality television, I just watch too much television and I can be easily sucked into nearly anything. I also decided that I’d be dropping a few of the regulars, ANTM obviously made the cut, Survivor and American Idol did not (I did tune back into AI this last season but that’s it, I’m pretty sure). I watched my first full episode of the Bachelorette just to be able to contribute to the conversation of what kind of guy I thought was cute (of that lot, Graham, but not just because he’s super hot).

I tried not to sample too much of the new options that they trotted out over the years though I was a big fan of Rock Star: INXS/Supernova. Last year when I expanded my television from network to basic cable my channel surfing led me to review a show or two more. After some sampling, Project Runway is a keeper, I love the personalities but it’s the clothes each week that kept me coming back. Rock of Love stayed on the tivo for the first season but I couldn’t stay on the train wreck through season two.

Last season I was so indignant about the new show Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew that I almost didn’t watch the first episode. Now I knew Dr Drew was a real Dr, I had listened to Loveline on KROQ back when it started and was Dr Drew and the Poorman, but I didn’t realize he was an addiction specialist. I still had my doubts as I thought reality had sunk to a new low. But you can tell where this is heading, I was addicted.

Sure there was a train wreck aspect to things, but I was again surprised at how I came to be interested in the lives of people who I really couldn’t care less about. When Jeff Conaway left we all thought he was going to die when he checked out, and were frustrated that Chyna was having trouble even identifying/admitting what her problem was, and we all hoped that they would make it. Dr Drew and the staff really appeared to want to help these people and seeing them struggle with the filmed/celebrity aspect of the show was a challenge that I wonder how it will change in the next season.

And you can tell where this is leading, there is a next season. Casting is confirmed as: Jeff Conaway (back after back surgeries to give it another go), Sean Stewart (reality specialist and son of Rod/Sons of Hollywood), Amber Smith (model/actress?), Rodney King (from back when reality made people famous), Nikki McKibbon (this year’s American Idol), Steven Adler (this year’s rocker from Guns n Roses) and Tawny Kitaen (Actress?). And we also have Gary Busey (this year’s Baldwin sharing his path to sobriety - 13 years sober from his cocaine addiction?).

I assume this means they’ll be checking in now, but we won’t see shows until around October. Does that mean to fill this summer I should watch more Denise Richards or Living Lohan? The answer to that is no.

Well they knocked out the runner ups one by one, and although the order they went may not have been in the order I predicted we all expected this final two to be the Davids. And the winner, either despite the judges calling of the finale night for Archie, or because of it, was Cookie.

I have never gotten the whole David Archuletta attraction, I find his voice at times good but overall has a weird strained quality to it (he apparently had some vocal issues early on in his childhood), I found his song selection to lack any sort of interest - all balladesque and not all that emotional, and overall I found his youthful asexual presence to be lacking energy and connection. But he was unquestionably able to hold up vocally week after week and he’s comes across as a sweet kid.

David Cook on the other hand was working the rocker vibe. He pretty consistently gave what was actually a performance and tried to make interesting choices on his songs picking an alternate arrangement or rearranging a bit on his own. He worked the electric and acoustic guitar and was actually able to back it up vocally. He was working to balance out that cocky/cool attitude but he too comes across as a good guy.

For the finale Archie’s final performances were all quite good. As Randy Jackson says if you can sing, you can sing a phone book, and he picked a good time to peak. But again the songs weren’t all that, ”Don’t Let the Sun Go Down on Me”, “In This Moment” (a songwriting competition runner-up), and a reprise of his “Imagine” performance.

Cookie didn’t have a wow moment in the night but he showed us some of the reasons why we like him. He’s got range, he’s got presence, and he’d rather take a risk on a song than do something safe. And as Randy put this one he sang his face off with “I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For,” “Dream Big” (songwriting competition runner-up), and “The World I Know.”

Oh and as for the over bloated 2+ hour finale show… I forgot to tape it. I went as far as to check that nothing else was conflicting that I needed to record… and I never put it in as a season pass because I was in denial all season that I was going to watch every episode. And although I enjoyed the season I’ve had my fix and I plan to not get sucked in again.

Though rumor has it they are going to retool things a bit next year to catch some of the ratings drop this blockbuster has started to suffer. They will at least narrow the results to a half hour and if the populous has any say they will find some way to get rid of some of those dreadful group numbers and limit the theme shows so that they can still push the singers to show some range but allow them to stick to songs that are remotely relevant to what their career might be.

As for last night’s ep it was reportedly a little more interesting, though still containing must ffwd through moments, with the full gang back together again and mixed with performances and duets by real artists. I’m sure I’ll catch most of it online, where I can probably waste more than the 2+ hours. Other than that I’m actually a little curious to see what Cookie will do with his first album, other than being forced to sing a dreadful Idol inspirational pop song of course.

Well we’ve had a week to wrap up the up fronts where networks tout their fall and onward tv seasons for advertisers, so let’s take a look at what looks like it will look like:

ABC

New:

• Life on Mars - David E Kelley’s version of BBC series where cop transports back to 1970s
• Opportunity Knocks – Game show where they knock on your door, or something

Returning: 20/20, America’s Funniest Home Videos, Boston Legal (final season), Brothers & sisters, Eli Stone, Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, Dancing with the Stars, Desperate Housewives, Dirty Sexy Money, Grey’s Anatomy, Private Practice, Pushing Daisies, Samantha Who?, Supernanny, Ugly Betty, Wife Swap
Midseason returns: According to Jim, The Bachelor, Lost, Scrubs (New from NBC)
Noteworthy not returning: Men in Trees, Miss Guided, October Road, Women’s Murder Club

CBS 

New:

• Eleventh Hour – Jerry Bruckheimer’s latest, adapting from the british 4 part sci fi series dealing with mysterious cases
• The Ex List – This one is based on an Israeli show where a psychic tells a woman she has already met her true love and so she revisits the exes
• The Mentalist – Simon Baker uses his powers of observation to solve crimes
• Project Gary – Comedy starring Jay Mohr as a recent divorce, and contractor which might explain the ‘project’ part
• Worst Week – This comedy of newly engaged couple is another BBC show made over american style

Returning: 48 Hours, 60 Minutes, Amazing Race, Big Bang Theory, Cold Case, Criminal Minds, CSI, CSI: Miami, CSI: NY, Ghost Whisperer, How I Met Your Mother, NCIS, New Adventures of Old Christine, Numb3rs, Survivor, Two and a Half Men, The Unit, Without a Trace
Midseason returns: Rules of Engagement
Noteworthy not returning: Moonlight, Shark

CW 

New:

• 90210 – The next generation, as a new brother and sister move and start at West Beverly High, including pop bys by Jennie Garth as Guidance Counselor
• Surviving the Filthy Rich - With Reba’s JoAnna Garcia as nanny to rich kids, based on a book series
• Stylista – New reality from Tyra Banks where folks compete to work at Elle

Noteworthy note: Contracting out Sunday nights to production finance company Media Rights Capital who will be responsible for two dramas and two comedies and selling the ad time.

• FAT City, IM Valentine, Book of Murphy, Surviving Suburbia

Returning: ANTM, Everybody Hates Chris, The Game, Gossip Girl, One Tree Hill, Smallville, Supernatural
Midseason return: Reaper
Noteworthy not returning: Aliens in America, Girlfriends, New Amsterdam

Fox

New:

• Fringe - JJ Abrams latest starring Joshua Jackson teaming up to investigate unexplained phenomena, I wanna say like the x-files
• Do Not Disturb – Comedy starring Jerry O’Connell working at one of NY’s uber hip hotels

Returning: American Dad, America’s Most Wanted, Bones, Cops, Don’t Forget the Lyrics, Family Guy, House, King of the Hill, Kitchen Nightmares, Moment of Truth, Prison Break, Simpsons, Smarter than a 5th Grader, Terminator, Til Death
Midseason return: 24, American Idol, Hell’s Kitchen.
Noteworthy not returning: Back to You

NBC

New:

• Crusoe – As in Robinson…
• Kath & Kim – Molly Shannon and Selma Blair in remake of Australian sitcom about mother and daughter living together again
• Knight Rider – If you caught the ‘hit’ tv movie you’re familiar with this remake
• My Own Worst Enemy – Christian Slater as a gov agent/normal guy whose two lives start to blur
• Thursday Night Live – Special SNL shows leading up to the elections

Returning: The Biggest Loser, Chuck, Dateline, Deal or No Deal, Heroes, E.R. (final season), L&O:SVU, Life, Lipstick Jungle, My Name is Earl, The Office, 30 Rock
Midseason returning: Friday Night Lights, L&O, Medium
Noteworthy not returning: Bionic Woman, Journeyman, Las Vegas 

Additional Notes:

Tons of new shows scheduled for after fall, but we’ll chime in later once those become more solid, other than the fact that I should note there’s an Office spinoff scheduled as well as the new Joss Whedon show Dollhouse with Eliza Dushku, scheduled for midseason. I miss the Grr Arg.

And if you want to see the current stab at the schedule you can check it out at TV Guide.

Ok so it’s really five to go since there are six left but that didn’t sound as good. So we’ve gotten rid of some of the riff raff, and Michael Johns. So who might win? Let’s do a little ranking.

1. David Cook has really stepped it up consistently, or at least the most consistently, doing an interesting take on the song of the week and actually seeming like rock star, or at least a pop star, instead of a karaoke/cruise ship singer (to steal a phrase or two from Simon). But do I want him to win? I’m not sure… there is something negative about the perception of being most loved by America as well as being tied down with the winning contract instead of taking your notoriety and running.
2. David Archuleta is the young kid with the good, but slightly raspy voice, who sings a lovely inspirational ballad, and who I couldn’t be more bored by. There is something a little too young about him and he has failed to shine in a good upbeat song and his romance appeal so far seems limited even for a teeny bopper audience.
3. Carly Smithson has a great voice but to date has dipped into the bottom three because folks haven’t been won over by her song choice, lack of connection, and angry singing. But when she called Simon out on being hard on her it sounded like he actually appreciated her more than initially thought, he just expected even more.
4. Brooke White has dipped into the bottom three a couple of times but she’s got that folk singer thing down and when she’s not trembling with fear, or whatever, she’s actually quite likable. She’s been slipping but I’m thinking she has another good one or two in her.
5. Jason Castro doesn’t have the strongest voice but he has started doing some good song picking to make the most of what he’s got and his laid back thing is just making him so darned not hateable. I should put him above Carly and Brooke but I feel like he’s due for a weak one.
6. Syesha Mercado also has a lovely voice and has had some good performances but she has been picking songs of great singers or at least singers who make the song their own and she’s been unable to do that. She started out not at the top of people’s lists and has consistently hit the bottom three.

But leave it to America and a bunch of inconsistent singers to prove me wrong, that’s one of the things we like about reality, right? So stay tuned tonight as the gang performs song from Andrew Lloyd Weber, really? And of course see who will be the latest castoff – it may surprise us all – on Thursday!

Well on American Idol we are down to the final ten, which in Idol terms is apparently important because these ten are the ones who ‘go on tour.’ Whatever that means… And so what I was reminded of as I sped through the results episode, was how in this reality show America votes, which could result in anything. And how sometimes, as my dear friend Paula puts it, sometimes America gets it wrong.

So kicked off this week was rocker chick Amanda Overmeyer who joined previous week’s loser David Hernandez. And while Amanda wasn’t going to ever win the whole thing, there are a few kids who I think should be kicked off before her, namely runner up loser Kristy Lee Cook. David Hernandez leaving wasn’t going to get an argument from anyone, except maybe his family. Though I wonder if anyone cared about his whole revealed stripper past.

But while I may not agree with the order that the kids get the heave ho, most of these kids are going and it’s just a matter of which week. The big surprise was that this week’s second runner up loser was Carly Smithson. And while she was an early favorite of mine, there is something I don’t love about her persona. But seriously she is one of the way better singers and although Simon slammed her song choice last week, along with possibly every other person’s song choice, no one is arguing about her talent.

Who will be eliminated next week and will I actually care?

Monday

• The Big Bang Theory/How I Met Your Mother/Two and a Half Men (CBS, 8/8:30/9pm) - Back after a little strike lull! They’ll keep The New Adventures of Old Christine company.
• Dancing With the Stars (ABC, 8pm; also Tues, 9pm) Season Premiere - A new gang cuts some rug, again not exactly A-list but some sports and interestingly the deaf Marlee Matlin.
• The Bachelor (ABC, 9:30pm) Season Premiere - The single guy London style, who will get the rose? Of course who cares, they’ll break up soon anyhow.

Tuesday

• It’s the Easter Beagle Charlie Brown (ABC, 8pm) - Looks like Easter must be coming, at least for the Peanuts gang.
• The Riches (FX, 10pm) Season Premiere - This con family kept me on the edge of my seat as they pretended to be The Riches, it’s tough pretending to be a lawyer and his family whilst your con friends are out to get you.
• Miss/Guided (ABC, 10:30; returns on Thurs 8/8:30pm) Series Premiere - The delightful Judy Greer returns to her alma mater as a guidance counselor for some old and new high school fun.

Wednesday

• Well I’ll probably tune into acronym city ANTM, AI, and then L&O.

Thursday

• Lost (ABC, 9pm) - Last for a couple of weeks before we get the new post strike eps going late April, I have been digging this season.
• Lipstick Jungle (NBC, 10pm) Season Finale - And done. For now, and forever?

Friday/Saturday

• Netflix, cineplex, book? - Though they are playing the next ep of Jezebel Friday, I’ll set the tivo just in case.

Sunday

• The L Word (Show, 9pm) Season Finale -The fifth season wraps up as the ladies… uh I don’t know… I don’t get Showtime and I’ve never watched this show but since it’s about lesbians I assume it’s mostly ladies…

And no I’m not talking about presidential politics. Now’s the time for America to start choosing their next Idol. For the most part I’m not sure that the populous vote works on artistic endeavors but the show has certainly made some stars. Some sell records, some win Grammys, think Kelly Clarkson, Carrie Underwood, Chris Daughtry, oh and then there’s Jennifer Hudson and that little thing they call an Oscar.

But that’s not really the fun of the show. We’ve now narrowed it down to 24 and starting next week we’ll get a night of women’s performances and then a night of men. I have to say I wonder if the performers who have been more greatly featured in the profiles to date will already have a greater following or if the performances will speak for themselves.

Personally, of the men I dig that Australian guy. On the women’s side I’m more torn, I like that girl who lost her voice, the rocker/nurse girl, and the Irish girl. I suppose I could learn their actual names, but heck why bother, they could be eliminated next week. And in fact as I recall it is always pretty clear right away that a few of those put forward just don’t have the stuff in the fuller format.

So stay tuned. I will, at least for another round. Oh and if you care who specifically the top 24 are you can always check out Idol central at http://www.americanidol.com/

Well the time has come for the start of Season 7 of American Idol, and with the state of new television being what it is I thought I’d check back in. And I have to say what our fine friend Randy might: I’m just not feeling it dawg. Watching a two hour episode, even fast forwarding through it, just from Philadelphia… The good, the bad, and the awful singing a quick tune and leaping away with joy or slinking (or raging) away in defeat just isn’t what it used to be.

I wasn’t that engaged with the folks who were trying to be funny like the guy in skimpy costume who when they said they were too distracted by his chest hair went and got it waxed. Or the guy who sang a stalking love song to Paula, ok I chuckled with lyrics like ‘If she were Columbo I’d Peter Falk-her. If she was a bathtub I’d caulk her.’ 

And I thought the people who weren’t trying to be funny was kind of painful and sad. Like the poor Janice Joplin wannabe who they said wasn’t right for the show but maybe she should sing in a 60s or 70s band, and then she proceeded to rant about Simon for fifteen minutes, which they of course showed for drama. Or the self proclaimed dork dressed like Princess Leia who didn’t get picked and they showed her on the phone fuming that they only picked the same kind of girl. Right, the kind of girl who could sing well.

Do they gear the selection toward folks who can not only sing but are also cute and personable? Yes of course they do. But at least at the first round if you can sing Randy and Paula will usually at least overrule Simon and let them through. And Simon wasn’t even being that mean. Simon did perhaps provide the funniest moment of the show where he was literally stunned at how happy people were for each other, he couldn’t imagine being happy for someone else. Vintage Simon.

The novelty of this phase of the show wore off some time around season 2 though I think I stuck through season 3. I do have to remember that like many good reality shows I don’t really get hooked until there’s a person to root for or against, with at least some personality. And at this stage although they highlight folks we’re just not invested yet. And we shouldn’t be. They picked 30 people just from Philly to go to Hollywood and it’s a few more rounds of initial auditions before they start to narrow it down to the final twelve (?).

Though if I had to pick today I liked that girl who trains horses and cage fights. Maybe I’ll tune back in when they get to Hollywood… Maybe this will be the year that more people vote for President than for the next Idol.

Monday

• Terminator (Fox, 9pm) - We’re settling into the regular timeslot and since I probably won’t have watched Sunday’s pilot I’ll plan to tivo this too whether it’s watchable or not, oh who am I kidding with the strike my bar is pretty low.

Tuesday

• American Idol (Fox, 8pm) Season Premiere - Starting it’s Tuesday and Wednesday runs at the early auditions, is my bar this low? I actually watched this for the first few seasons and then new people couldn’t make this show fresh enough for me. 

Wednesday

• Reno 911! (Comedy, 10:30) Season Premiere - I don’t get this channel and I’ve never seen this show, but some of these updates are going to start getting a little more arbitrary, so here’s Season 5.

Thursday

• Celebrity Rehab with Dr Drew (VH1, 10pm) - The first of this started last week, and they’re rerunning it maybe every day if you missed it, I am a little bit morally opposed to this show and have no idea whether it’s entertaining or not but some ‘celebrities’ might get some help.

Friday

• Moonlight (CBS, 9pm) - Maybe I’ll give this show another shot, though I found it a bad version of Angel the first time around.

Saturday

• Husband for Hire (Oxygen, 9pm) - What have Erik Estrada and Tempest Bledsoe been up to, apparently this made for tv movie.

Sunday

• Breaking Bad (AMC, 10pm) Series Premeire - Bryan Cranston is a  high school chemistry teacher who makes some questionable choices once he’s diagnosed with cancer.

So since I was talking reality television I felt like I wanted to rate the shows, but I have to admit if I’ve watched even one of these shows I don’t do it regularly (those I watch noted in bold)… so I’m doing it anyway but I’m not really standing behind these somewhat arbitrary grades.

• Amazing Race (A) - See pairs of people interact and travel the world, and it is a race so winners win.
• Survivor (A) - Groups of people living in some tough isolated conditions around the world, good mix of the strategic alliances and the wild card of the varied skill challenges. They vote each other off and try not to alienate folks too much since they pick their own winner.
• Project Runway (A-) – (Bravo) Seeing these wannabe fashion makers trying to rise to the challenges at break neck speed, without breaking anyone else’s neck, is compelling and with Tim Gunn’s encouragement to ‘make it work’ I may not like all the results but they’re worth seeing. Heidi leads the panel of judge’s decisions.
• ANTM (B+) - If you’ve read these at all you know I’m a fan of the crazies and their model skills, a good photo means a lot but in person presence, acting, walking and various other things keep it interesting. Tyra leads the panel of judges decisions.
• Rock Star: INXS/Supernova/? (B+) - I had heard at one point that this was renewed with unknown talent. This show takes AI to the next level with actual songs and singers you might like, mixed with the combination of America and wild card band votes and a little behind the scenes action. I miss Marty Casey.
• Biggest Loser (B) - Tough love as folks really change their lives, and even those voted off and working from home try to lose to win.
• Dancing with the Stars (B) - A unique mix of ‘stars’ and their professional dancing partners compete. A mix of judge and America’s votes keeps narrowing down ‘til we find the winner.
• American Idol (B) - If you don’t know about this show you’ve been living under a rock, it still maintains a rabid following season after season. Our panel narrows it down to finalists then it’s all about America’s pick.
• Rock of Love (B/D) - (VH1) Ok this is so bad it’s good, I live in disdain of the Bachelor but make it a house full of skanks, psychos and strippers and I couldn’t look away. Brett Michaels adds a nice touch as a crazy rockstar who is surprisingly in touch with his feminine side.
• Beauty and the Geek (B-) - The dumb beauties and the socially stunted smarties team up to overcome their limitations and on their way learn a little. Competitions rule.
• Bachelor (B-) - As noted I can’t take this whole good-looking vapid women compete to fall in love with what is typically a good-looking but not super interesting guy. I would give this a worse grade but after getting addicted to Rock of Love I had to reconsider.
• Extreme Makeover Home Edition (C+) - Total home remodel with varied themes and goals and always a touching story.
• The Apprentice (C) - If it weren’t for annoying Donald Trump the competitions to determine business savvy are pretty interesting.
• Kid Nation (C) - Kids in the wild west making it on their own. Rewards are given and competitions determine perks and duties, and they can opt out at any time.
• Next Great American Band (C-) - I think I am the only person watching this band competition, I am amazed that there aren’t more talented groups included but I like the mix of originals and covers and like The Clark Brothers and Franklin Bridge (and Six Wire), not that I would buy any of their albums.
• America’s Got Talent (D) - I don’t know that America does, but if you’re looking for random acts, this is where you find ‘em.
• Kitchen Nightmares (F) – Watching some mean chef yell at people just doesn’t do it.
• Big Brother (F) - So they put a bunch of people in a house, and show it for like three nights a week, I don’t understand how this can be on like season 8.
• Phenomenon (F) – Again, magicians…