procrastinationchronicles.com

New and notable in the week ahead…

Monday

• Thank You, Mr. President: Helen Thomas at the Whitehouse (HBO, 9pm) - She quips about her tenure in the press corps with many a president.
• The Hills (MTV, 10pm) Season Premiere - This is that ‘reality’ show where ‘regular’ people have become ‘celebrities.’
• Busted (MTV, 10:30pm) Series Premiere - More reality but this time it’s kids who get arrested.
• Olympic Roundup - NBC primetime coverage includes women’s individual gymnastics events, trampoline final, track & field, and women’s beach volleyball semis. 

Tuesday

• Making the Band 4 (MTV, 9pm) Season Premiere - The bands promote what I’m sure are hot hits.
• Olympic roundup - NBC primetime coverage includes men’s and women’s individual gymnastics events, track & field, diving, and new event: bmx cycling.

Wednesday

• Architecture School (Sund, 9pm) Series Debut - Can you pick the hot new architect who will combine a great aesthetic and a realistic single family home? 
• Olympic Roundup - NBC primetime coverage includes gymnastics exhibition, track & field, bmx cycling, and women’s beach volleyball finals.

Thursday

• Glam God with Vivica A Fox/The Cho Show (VH1, 10/11pm) Series Premieres - Folks compete to be a celebrity stylist, then we get to follow comedian Margaret Cho around.
• Jacked: Auto Theft Task Force (A&E, 10pm) Series Premiere - It’s like Cops but with carjackers.
• Tabatha’s Salon Takeover (Bravo, 10pm) Series Premiere - Some chick from Shear Genius tries to turn salons around.
• Olympic Roundup - NBC primetime coverage includes track & field, women’s diving, and men’s beach volleyball finals.

Friday

• Discovery Project Earth (DSC, 9pm) Series Premiere - Can scientists come up with the way to save the earth, hear what they have to say here.
• Who Are you Wearing (TLC, 10pm) Series Premiere - I think this is kind of like Project Runway.
• Jeffrey Ross (Com, 11:30pm) - A comedy central special of Ross doing No Offense Live from New Jersey.
• Olympic Roundup - NBC primetime coverage includes men’s diving and track & field.

Saturday

• Olympic Roundup - NBC day and evening overage includes women’s basketball finals, women’s volleyball finals, rhythmic gymnastics, synchro swimming, boxing, canoe/kayak, men’s marathon, track & field, and diving.

Sunday

• Law & Order: CI (USA, 9pm) Season Finale - This is actually the one of these I don’t watch, though I like Mr. Big better than D’Onofrio.
• Generation Kill (HBO, 9pm) Miniseries finale - Does this mean the war is over?
• Olympic Roundup - NBC day and evening coverage includes men’s waterpolo finals, rhythmic gymnastics, boxing, men’s volleyball finals, and the Closing Ceremonies.

Well I just saw a promo for Gossip Girl and it reminded me of how much I enjoyed the campy trashy show. What else am I most eagerly awaiting? Funny you should ask.

• Bones (Fox, Wed 9/3) – Currently my favorite procedural because not only do they have fun cases with an anthropological science twist, but the leads Emily Deschanel and David Boreanaz are good on their own but their chemistry is great, and the the quirky supporting cast works so well, I’ll forgive them for the weak wrap-up of last year’s serial killer.
• Chuck (NBC, Mon 9/29) – Seeing Geek Squad Best Buy Nerd Herd Buy More employee, and accidental keeper of government secrets, forced into the spy world as well as the spy world stuck into Chuck’s life creates not only plenty of action but plenty of humor as well as a little potential romance with his CIA handler (the pretty one, not the hilariously stiff Adam Baldwin).
• Gossip Girl (CW, Mon 9/1)/Dirty Sexy Money (ABC, Wed 10/1) – Who can pick between the two trashy campy soaps? Good thing you don’t have to as we catch the richest of rich families, and their lawyer who is trying to help out and not get sucked in, to more trouble each week than most folks do in a lifetime, unless that is you’re a bunch of rich private schoolers, being fashionable and popular and deceptive is such hard work.
• Heroes (NBC, Mon 9/22) – Currently my favorite of the involved conspiracy shows, though it’s been uneven, we have followed our cast favorite regular folks who got special powers like time travel, indestructibility, and mind reading, and have to deal with other heroes, secret organizations, and of course saving the world, this season as they struggle with their own right and wrong actions it looks like they take on some real villains, but typically good and evil aren’t so clear cut.
• Pushing Daisies (ABC, Wed 10/1) – Every aspect of this show was magical and captivating as I somehow fell for two characters who are so sweet and in love normally I couldn’t stand them, but I lament every moment they aren’t able to touch because what brought her back to life would take her from him forever, so in the meantime he and his supporting cast run the pie shop and solve crimes, who better to help out than a guy who brings the dead back to life for a minute.
• 30 Rock (NBC, Thurs 10/30)/The Office (NBC, Thurs 9/25) – Tina Fey and Alec Baldwin just made me laugh a lot last season as they found a good rhythm with Fey running a late night sketch comedy show, her mess of a life, and keeping a crazy supporting cast together while the season finale of the Office made me appreciate how far this show has come from one that I saw more as a placeholder in the lineup to one I tune in for, because just when you think they’ve pushed the wackies too far in one direction they remind you to care.

Well we’ve had a week to wrap up the up fronts where networks tout their fall and onward tv seasons for advertisers, so let’s take a look at what looks like it will look like:

ABC

New:

• Life on Mars - David E Kelley’s version of BBC series where cop transports back to 1970s
• Opportunity Knocks – Game show where they knock on your door, or something

Returning: 20/20, America’s Funniest Home Videos, Boston Legal (final season), Brothers & sisters, Eli Stone, Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, Dancing with the Stars, Desperate Housewives, Dirty Sexy Money, Grey’s Anatomy, Private Practice, Pushing Daisies, Samantha Who?, Supernanny, Ugly Betty, Wife Swap
Midseason returns: According to Jim, The Bachelor, Lost, Scrubs (New from NBC)
Noteworthy not returning: Men in Trees, Miss Guided, October Road, Women’s Murder Club

CBS 

New:

• Eleventh Hour – Jerry Bruckheimer’s latest, adapting from the british 4 part sci fi series dealing with mysterious cases
• The Ex List – This one is based on an Israeli show where a psychic tells a woman she has already met her true love and so she revisits the exes
• The Mentalist – Simon Baker uses his powers of observation to solve crimes
• Project Gary – Comedy starring Jay Mohr as a recent divorce, and contractor which might explain the ‘project’ part
• Worst Week – This comedy of newly engaged couple is another BBC show made over american style

Returning: 48 Hours, 60 Minutes, Amazing Race, Big Bang Theory, Cold Case, Criminal Minds, CSI, CSI: Miami, CSI: NY, Ghost Whisperer, How I Met Your Mother, NCIS, New Adventures of Old Christine, Numb3rs, Survivor, Two and a Half Men, The Unit, Without a Trace
Midseason returns: Rules of Engagement
Noteworthy not returning: Moonlight, Shark

CW 

New:

• 90210 – The next generation, as a new brother and sister move and start at West Beverly High, including pop bys by Jennie Garth as Guidance Counselor
• Surviving the Filthy Rich - With Reba’s JoAnna Garcia as nanny to rich kids, based on a book series
• Stylista – New reality from Tyra Banks where folks compete to work at Elle

Noteworthy note: Contracting out Sunday nights to production finance company Media Rights Capital who will be responsible for two dramas and two comedies and selling the ad time.

• FAT City, IM Valentine, Book of Murphy, Surviving Suburbia

Returning: ANTM, Everybody Hates Chris, The Game, Gossip Girl, One Tree Hill, Smallville, Supernatural
Midseason return: Reaper
Noteworthy not returning: Aliens in America, Girlfriends, New Amsterdam

Fox

New:

• Fringe - JJ Abrams latest starring Joshua Jackson teaming up to investigate unexplained phenomena, I wanna say like the x-files
• Do Not Disturb – Comedy starring Jerry O’Connell working at one of NY’s uber hip hotels

Returning: American Dad, America’s Most Wanted, Bones, Cops, Don’t Forget the Lyrics, Family Guy, House, King of the Hill, Kitchen Nightmares, Moment of Truth, Prison Break, Simpsons, Smarter than a 5th Grader, Terminator, Til Death
Midseason return: 24, American Idol, Hell’s Kitchen.
Noteworthy not returning: Back to You

NBC

New:

• Crusoe – As in Robinson…
• Kath & Kim – Molly Shannon and Selma Blair in remake of Australian sitcom about mother and daughter living together again
• Knight Rider – If you caught the ‘hit’ tv movie you’re familiar with this remake
• My Own Worst Enemy – Christian Slater as a gov agent/normal guy whose two lives start to blur
• Thursday Night Live – Special SNL shows leading up to the elections

Returning: The Biggest Loser, Chuck, Dateline, Deal or No Deal, Heroes, E.R. (final season), L&O:SVU, Life, Lipstick Jungle, My Name is Earl, The Office, 30 Rock
Midseason returning: Friday Night Lights, L&O, Medium
Noteworthy not returning: Bionic Woman, Journeyman, Las Vegas 

Additional Notes:

Tons of new shows scheduled for after fall, but we’ll chime in later once those become more solid, other than the fact that I should note there’s an Office spinoff scheduled as well as the new Joss Whedon show Dollhouse with Eliza Dushku, scheduled for midseason. I miss the Grr Arg.

And if you want to see the current stab at the schedule you can check it out at TV Guide.

So we’ve seen other’s picks for the top tv, but what about me? Well I think if you’ve read any of these posts you have an idea… But what you may not know is that although I seem to be comfortable spouting my opinion, if I actually have to quantify something as ‘The Best’ or ‘Top Ten’ I am immediately concerned that I have forgotten something or will change my mind the moment I write something down, which I often do, I mean tv does change with each episode… So I’m throwing down ten items in alphabetical order and I reserve the right to change my mind.

And of course one should recall that I don’t get real cable so my lack of endorsement for certain cable shows, well isn’t really a lack of endorsement.

• Chuck (NBC) - This show isn’t more than it is, a funny action romp, but what it is, it does really well and I find myself looking forward to it each week, it’s not so much about a regular guy being pulled into the spy world as it is the spy world being pulled into the regular guy’s life and the situations with spies and with the regular folks each tend to amuse and entertain.
• Dirty Sexy Money (ABC) - Again, I think folks tend to not give enough credit to a campy drama done well. These characters (and actors) are not only their stereotypes done to excess but also typically a subtle twist, I am entertained by the weekly trouble they get themselves into as well as finding out what who killed Dutch.
• Flight of the Conchords (HBO) - So an HBO show? Yes I was up to date since I was at an HBO watcher’s house when it premiered, and I really can’t do this show justice with a description but the New Zealand comedy satire folk singing duo trying to make it in New York, randomly breaking into music video song stylings is super funny.
• Heroes (NBC) - Well I warmed up to this show over the season last year and though disappointed with the start of this season, found myself yet again drawn into the cast that blurs the line between using their abilities for good or evil and how you can’t tell most of the time which is which as they try to save the world, or not.
• Lost (ABC) - It’s been so long since I’ve seen this that I almost didn’t put it on the list, but it continues to entertain with a formula that seemed impossible telling character stories through past and present, from an island that is as full of mysteries as it is new characters.
• Pushing Daisies (ABC) - The best new show of the year according to many, and I can’t not delight in it myself, I do give special credit for people who try to push things, and their 360 approach to the tone is wonderful, they’ve had some fantastic guest stars and episodic mysteries but managed to keep the right focus on the core cast with the ultimate can’t-be-together couple of Chuck and Ned.
• The Riches (FX) - Another unbelievable premise that just keeps me on the edge of my seat as this Traveler family pretends to be the Riches (folks who were killed in a car accident), and how they continue to keep afloat and keep out of the way of the other Travelers who wish them ill (to say the least) and their internal struggles along the way… it kept me tuned in.
• Samantha Who? (ABC) - This is my favorite new comedy and with the dearth of funny out there I think that’s not only entertaining but important. It’s a combination of Christina Applegate really getting a vehicle that suits her great combination of funny, dorky, attractive, bitchy and sweet in her own special way and of course the writing and the great supporting cast don’t hurt with special shoutouts to Jean Smart and Sookie and surprisingly Barry Watson.
• Saving Grace (TNT) - You know I’m not sure this is actually one of the best shows but Holly Hunter and her screwed up character are like a car wreck you can’t look away from and her struggle with the angel trying to save her and her friends and family… well I just can’t look away.
• 30 Rock (NBC) - This show has edged out my previous vote of funniest show How I Met Your Mother (which I still find quite funny) and it found it’s place as the dysfunctional staff of a late night sketch comedy show spouts hilarity on more levels than I can catch if I’m not paying attention, and has been funny each and every time I sit down to watch.

I also didn’t officially list, but wanted to give a special shout out to two shows that I have adored that ended their run in 2007 Gillmore Girls and Veronica Mars, oh how I do miss these sassy gals.

So if I’m sharing end of the year best lists I would be remiss not to throw down a little tv. The problem is it seems like a strange time to do a best tv list. So though midseason shows may be getting the short shrift we’ve probably seen enough of things to give it a go.

• Andy Barker, PI (NBC) - GF
• Battlestar Galactica (SciFi)- MSN, SK
• The Big Bang Theory (CBS) - TV
• Big Love (HBO)- GF, JP, GG, MA*, MSN
• The Bronx is Burning (ESPN) - TV
• Brotherhood (Show) - GF, MR
• Brothers and Sisters (ABC) - SAT
• Burn Notice (USA)- KT
• Californication (Show)- GG, MR
• Chuck (NBC) - SAT, TV
• The Colbert Report (Comedy) - JP
• CSI (CBS)- KT
• Damages (FX) - DB, GG, MA, SK, TV
• Desperate Housewives (ABC) - KT
• Dexter (Show)- AFI, DB, SK, MR, SAT*
• Dirty Sexy Money (ABC) - GF, TV
• Entourage (HBO) - GG
• Everybody Hates Chris (CW) - AFI
• Extras (HBO) - GG, SAT
• Flight of the Conchords (HBO) - GF, JP, SAT
• Friday Night Lights (NBC)- AFI, DB, JP, KT, MA, MR, MSN, SAT, SK
• Frisky Dingo (Cartoon) - KT
• Gossip Girl (CW) - TV
• Grey’s Anatomy (ABC) - GG, SAT
• Heroes (NBC) - DB
• House (Fox)- GG
• Kid Nation (CBS) - JP
• Life (NBC) - KT
• Life of Ryan (MTV) - KT
• Longford (HBO)- AFI
• Lost (ABC) - DB, JP, MA, MR, SK
• Mad Med (AMC) - AFI, DB, GF, JP*, MA, MR*, GG, MSN*, SAT, TV
• Nip/Tuck (FX) - DB
• The Office (NBC) - JP, MSN
• Planet Earth (Discovery) - GF, JP, MR, MSN
• Pushing Daisies (ABC) - AFI, DB, GF, JP, MA, MR, GG, SAT*, TV
• The Riches (FX)- JP, SAT
• Samantha Who? (ABC) - TV
• The Sarah Silverman Program (Comedy)- JP
• The Shield (Fx) - JP, MA, MR, MSN
• Sopranos (HBO) - AFI, DB, GF, JP*, KT, MA, MR, MSN
• Tell Me You Love Me (HBO) - AFI, JP, KT
• Top Chef (Bravo) - JP
• 30 Rock (NBC)- AFI, DB*, GF*, JP, KT*, MA, MR, GG, MSN
• The Tudors (Show) - GG, MR
• Ugly Betty (ABC) - AFI, MA, SAT
• The War (PBS) - JP, MR, MSN
• Weeds (Show) - JP, MR, SAT
• Yo Gabba Gabba! (Nick) - JP

AFI - American Film Institute, DB - David Bianculli on Fresh Air, GF - Gillian Flynn for EW, GG - Golden Globe Nominations, JP-James Poniewozik at Time (new and returning), KT - Ken Tucker for EW, MA - Michael Ausiello for TV Guide, MR-Matt Roush at TV Guide, MSN,  SAT-Satellite Awards, SK-Stephen King for EW, TV - TV Guide

* denotes top pick. I’ll update this list as new critic’s picks become available.

Or less darling as it turns out… since we were finally ready for the other shoe to drop on the unknown paternity of the kids on Dirty Sexy Money. And yes of course the brattiest, spoiledest, and the one who hates Nick the most, is in fact his brother. Brother Father Brian isn’t a Darling.

This wasn’t his only shock as the custody hearing for his own son went quickly, since he was arrested for attempted bribery. Out on bail, Brother Father is given a 6 month suspension. Infidelity and bribery don’t look that good to the parish and though he’s given a track back to god, is that the right path for him? So who does he turn to for guidance after much prayer? Apparently God told him to go work for Tripp. And to get out of that stuffy Father collar. Does this mean I can’t call him Brother Father and I have to remember his name?

Politico brother Patrick wraps up his stay in the hospital and apparently wifey wants to withdraw her arrangement for his seeing Carmelita. Either mistress or career. So he told her it would be career, but of course he told Carmelita he couldn’t give her up. Now he and wifey are getting back on track, and Carmelita thinks she’s being followed. And perhaps she was, because while the driver had her under surveillance for Pat she disappeared. And Patty seems broken up about it, or does he?

And Jeremy’s attempt to be a normal boyfriend led him to turn to Mrs. Nick. When she turned down his request to use their apartment as his ‘poor’ shack he rented a studio that he had a decorator trash appropriately. But alas the new gal doesn’t mind that he’s poor, just that he has no goals, which is in fact the case. But rather than show her the real, real him, he’s keeping the lie alive and borrowed some nudes from Mrs. Nick’s gallery to pretend to be a starving artist. Too bad the new ladyfriend wants him to paint her now. When he finally comes clean she’s of course livid about his lying.

And when Mrs. Nick gets a taste of what it’s really like to get caught up in the Darling schemes by trying to get the artist to help Jeremy out, she ends up smoking pot and having him kiss her. Of course she told Jeremy not to do it again… (she loves Nick and is way too old for him, but then again so is the woman he’s trying to woo). And she got fired for making the art smell like pot. When she and Nick talked, apparently the solution to being unemployed is to have another kid. I don’t get it, but they’re both thrilled.

And what of Miss Juliet the lovely who in real life has been spending time in outpatient rehab… well apparently her not being on the show was written in by her being on Karen’s honeymoon. And she brought back a boy toy. And as he agrees to stay indefinitely, and not to be taken care of, she agrees that he should be her first. Lest we forget she’s a virgin. I don’t get it, he doesn’t seem that hot or charismatic, but whatever.

And when Nick confided that Simon Elder’s latest request was for family financial records, Tripp agreed to supply them, or at least some sort of them. Tripp then got on the phone to a mysterious recipient to have them find out what Elder was after. Could Karen, who is now sleeping with Elder, be doing it under the guise of surveillance, or is that vice versa? Well yes, but their agreement is that she not get emotionally involved and she seems to be slipping when Elder introduces him to his ex, who he is still close with, and she ‘approves’ (yeah I didn’t quite get it), Karen got all choked up…

And we got to get a glimpse of Nick’s dad Dutch in a flashback… with the role cast does that mean we’re ready for him to not really be dead? Did we find a body in the watery crash? I think not. We should have three more episodes left, but as they sprinkle the repeats you can catch the pilot this Wednesday to get introduced, or reintroduced, to the characters properly.

Monday

• The Hills (MTV, 10pm) Season Finale - So the people on this show are the ones that I don’t recognize in all the tabloid magazines.
• I Want a Dog for Christmas Charlie Brown (ABC, 8pm) - Linus and Lucy’s little brother hangs with Snoopy and his brother Spike.

Tuesday

• Shrek the Halls/Winnie the Pooh and Christmas, Too (ABC, 9/8:30pm) - Shrek again, then Pooh and the gang have some snow time fun.
• Life on Mars (BBC, 8pm) Season Premiere - This is apparently the second and final season of a guy thrown back in time trying to get home kind of show.

Wednesday

• ANTM (CW, 8pm) Season Finale! - Who will it be? I still say Saleisha, but let’s be serious I only care about the journey.
• Kid Nation (CBS, 8pm) Season Finale - I haven’t heard anything about this show since the start so I think maybe no kids were maimed.
• Kitchen Nightmares (Fox, 9pm) Season Finale - I didn’t really follow how this worked so I’m not sure what the finale involves.
• Crowned: The Mother of All Pageants (CW, 9pm - future 8pm) Series Premiere - A house full of mother/daughter beauty contestants, Queer Eye’s Carson is one of the judges as one team gets voted of each week.
• Dirty Sexy Money (ABC, 10pm) - Catch it if you missed the pilot of the best soap in night time tv, they do the cheese factor to a T (what does that actually mean?).

Thursday

• Saturday Night Live Christmas (NBC, 9:30pm) - As they keep moving with the compilation shows the holidays seem like a logical choice.

Friday

• It’s a Wonderful Life (NBC, 8pm) - This holiday classic always gets a showing, well, around the holidays.

Saturday

• Chuck (NBC, 8pm) - Catch the pilot episode if you didn’t get on board from the start of this fun series.

Sunday

• Survivor: China (CBS, 8pm) Season Finale - Followed by reunion show at 10pm, this ultimate tribal council will crown a new ultimate Survivor.
• Dexter (Show 9pm) Season Finale - So this serial killer series comes to the end of season 2.
• Extras (HBO, 9pm) Series Finale - With Ricky Gervais, he is a wannabe actor trying to make it, and how does it all end?

Well the darlings of Dirty, Sexy, Money are keeping busy…

Of course the big mystery, Nick was told by the police that the report on his father’s downed plane showed it was an accident, really? Maybe not, as Simon Elder convinced Nick that if he got Tripp to put up the nostalgic Darling Plaza property in the big poker game he’d give him the undoctored copy of the report. So far Nick’s honesty is working alright for him, he told Elder that he didn’t know whether he could trust him and he confided with Tripp what Elder wanted. Tripp offered up the property in order to get to the truth, and when the game was lost, since Elder had the dealer, it wasn’t long before Darling Plaza was demo’d. For trying to convince Nick he’s the good guy Elder’s seeming a bit on the smarmy side. But Nick got the report which pointed to a mechanic, who not coincidentally turned up dead.

This isn’t Nick’s only problem of course, Karen hasn’t made it a big secret that she has always had a crush on Nick, but did manage to make it down the isle with pro golfer Freddy. She didn’t tell Nick she wanted him to write up her divorce until arriving at the reception, because Freddy declared that he really loved her. 3 million dollars later the annulment was final. She then declared to Nick that she really loved him before laying one on him. Instead of him telling her he didn’t love her, or something of the like, he mumbled a ‘gotta go’… then of course declared his love to his wife. Karen’s in full Nick mode and now mom Leticia is helping to bring them together, letting the kissing incident ’slip’ to wifey.

All the while the twins tried to out compete each other for a best 25th birthday party and they both ended up unfulfilled and with Tripp deciding not to let them have their latest portion of their inheritence. Jeremy found out that his girlfriend and Juliet’s former bff was lying about being pregnant, or at least not telling when she found out she wasn’t. Juliet has somehow forgiven her since she wrote a new apology song about her biggest regret, apparently the bff is some sort of pop star. So while the bff’s are back in action Jeremy is trying to turn a new leaf and get a job. He’s starting as a valet at one of their properties and is sniffing around a woman who doesn’t know he’s a Darling so he can play ‘regular guy’.

Juliet’s other occupation has been entertaining Brain Junior. Our religious brother father Brain got found out for his illegitimate child posing as swedish exchange student. Though Juliet was having some fun playing dress up with him she actually convinced brother father that he needed to spend some time with him, perhaps the sweet kid will bring out a hidden good side. Mom just returned from a couple months in Brazil reportedly to see the son, but didn’t mind getting a little brother father action before deciding that she wanted to drag the tyke back to Brazil. Leave it to father brother to pray to god that the arbitrator on their custody takes his bribe.

Politico brother Pat had another break up with dad when he tried yet again to break up Pat’s relationship with his mistress who used to be a mister Carmelita, but she’s got too much sass to put up with that. And of course it wouldn’t be long before wifey started getting pissy, thanks to Elder’s secret update about the mistress. She was happy to broker a deal with Carmelita for his time when it was just sex, but when she found out he actually talked to Carmelita the Mrs. shot him. It was only in the leg… 

Pat has also moved out and is now in bed, figuratively speaking, with Elder. Elder has grand schemes of saving New York. And Tripp didn’t mince words when telling Nick he wanted Elder utterly destroyed. And that started with telling the gang that Elder blames the Darlings for his parents death since the father’s worked together until the Elders were given the boot over rumors of an affair with Tripp’s mom. Then they were off to Russia which didn’t treat his parents well. Elder swung back by informing Nick that Tripp was involved in his brother’s death. Hmmm…

Are you still with me? Good. Tonight what new devastating secret will be revealed?

Monday

• The Bachelor (ABC, 10pm) Season Finale - Two weeks touting the bachelor, really? Anyhoo, you get this, he picks a gal and they break up doing promotional appearances… ‘After the Rose’ show airs on Tuesday at 10pm.
• Weeds (SHO, 10pm) Season Finale - I’ve started making my list of cable shows to get on dvd if this pesky strike keeps up, I like ML Parker, and is this the one that one of those Olsens joined?

Tuesday

• A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving (ABC, 8pm) - I can taste the turkey and mashed taters already. Followed by ‘He’s a Bully Charlie Brown’ to round out the hour.

Wednesday

• Pushing Daisies (ABC, 8pm) - Just when I wondered if this show could be any more delightful they get a guest spot from Paul Reubens (the artist formerly known as Pee Wee Herman).
• Dirty Sexy Money (ABC, 10pm) - All may not go smoothly for the Darlings as a couple of meetings are arranged, Tripp and Simon Elder and Patrick’s wife and his transsexual mistress.

Thursday

• Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade/National Dog Show (NBC, 9am/noon) - I don’t recall watching the parade in recent years but I assume it’s all floats and bands and whatnot, you know, a parade, but I do try to catch the dog show, though I always just root for the big fuzzy breeds I like best.
• Ugly Betty/Grey’s Anatomy (ABC, 8pm/10pm) - Buffy alum night as Faith/Eliza Dushku gets ugly and Oz/Seth Green pops by Grey’s for what I can only hope will be some funny.
• October Road (ABC, 10pm) Season Premiere - Sappy, and in my opinion unwatchable (though I admittedly stopped watching), show where boy returns home after writing first novel, somewhat unflatteringly, about his small home town and its inhabitants and comes to wonder if his best gal, that he ditched, is raising his kid.

Friday

• Numbers (CBS, 10pm) - Christopher Lloyd guests for the makings of a little Taxi reunion with he and Judd Hirsch, and I’m sure there’s some math.

Saturday

• Battlestar Galactica: Razor (SciFi, 9pm) - A movie that explains some of the haps from the series that I hear great things about but have yet to start the dvds.

Sunday

• The Simpsons (Fox, 8pm) - Sideshow Bob’s family nods to Friasier as Kelsey Grammer is joined by Frasier’s Niles/David Hyde Pierce and Martin/John Mahoney.
• Extreme Makeover: Home Edition (ABC, 7pm) 100th show - Ty and the gang help a family of ten by doing something extreme.
• Action Sports (NBC, 11am - check your local listing) - Highlights of the season’s best competitions in the Dew Action Sports tour for skateboarding, fmx, and bmx.

No not the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, though it could be one and the same as we delve into Dirty Sexy Money. Ready to tune into tonight’s episode? Well here’s where we’re at. Nick George (Peter Krause from 6 Feet Under) finds out his father died and he inherited the post of Darling family attorney, wooed by stacks of money to give away to causes as he saw fit. He soon realized that it was all more trouble than it was worth, he was more than family attorney, he was trouble shooter and secret keeper for all things Darling…

Patrick (William Baldwin) is the Attorney General of New York and after his father convinced him to run for senate he also convinces him to dump his tranny mistress. Alas he really loves her and the break didn’t last long. Our man of the cloth, brother Brian lies to his family about his illegitimate son, somehow making cruel comments amusing as he keeps the faux Swedish exchange student in line. Karen who just so happened to be Nick’s first, is marrying yet another vapid man, though she hasn’t gotten over Nick and won’t let he or his wife forget it. And of course the twins of excess. Celebutante Juliet (Samaire Armstrong of OC and Entourage) wants to make it on her own, though apparently her father bought her latest theater role. She was furious when she found out but not nearly as furious as she was when she found out that her brother Jeremy was dating her ex best friend (apparently the rift was caused by the stealing of bangs). When Jeremy isn’t sleeping with this one, and potentially getting her pregnant, he’s fully embracing the playboy lifestyle winning yachts in poker games and writing lyrics with Justin Timberlake, among other things.

All too much to take for Nick but when he learned that his father’s death wasn’t an accident he planned to stick with the Darlings until he found out who killed him. Now the most likely candidate is patriarch Tripp (Donald Sutherland). Turns out Tripp’s lovely wife Leticia/Tish (Jill Clayburgh) had been having an affair with now dead pops for the past 40 years. Did Tripp know? Nick was getting mixed messages but after getting nowhere by going to the police, or stealing Tripp’s journal, he realized he had to trust, or at least use him, to get to the bottom of this.

Nick’s dad left him one thing, a briefcase with a dossier - not a file but a dossier - pointing to some suspiciousness of another big money New Yorker, Simon Elder (Blair Underwood). When Nick contacts his dad’s contact, an ex CIA op, he found that he had helped pops do investigation on Elder but then stopped helping when he realized pops must be working for someone else, wanting him to investigate Tripp. Who was pops working for, Elder? The mysterious C of some of his appointments? Turns out they could be one and the same as Elder pulls off in his diplomat limo with the license plate C. So is Elder the bad guy, or is Tripp? Elder did buy back the Darling sex tape, just because it was the right thing to do (It was Karen with some caddy, and apparently we learned Juliet reports to being a virgin).

Oh and about Tish’s affair, turns out Tripp confronted her with unread DNA results and she was going to tell him which one of his kids wasn’t his… but of course we’ll need to stay tuned for that sort of reveal.