New and notable in the week ahead… procrastinator picks are underlined.

Monday

• Dancing with the Stars (ABC, 8pm) Season Premiere – Jewel and Nancy O’Dell are out, and I hear at least one is being replaced by Holly, one of the Girls Next Door.
• Battles BC (Hist, 9pm) Series Premiere – Were you wondering what really happened in ancient clashes, I mean what tactics did they really use?
• Castle (ABC, 10pm – repeats Sunday) Series Premiere – It’s a straight-laced cop paired with not so by the book writer, with Nathan Fillion (Firefly/Dr Horrible) playing the writer I will of course tune in.

Tuesday

• WCG Ultimate Gamer (SciFi, 10pm) Series Premiere – Twelve gamers move in together and compete at Rock Band 2, partay!

Wednesday

• The Chopping Block (NBC, 8pm) Series Premiere – The guy who trained Gordon Ramsay has his own restaurant competition.
• Ghost Hunters (SciFi, 9pm) Season Premiere – Clean your guns, or whatever the guys on Ghostbusters used, Ghost hunting season has started.
• South Park (Com, 10pm) Season Premiere – Can these kids really be thirteen years older?

Thursday

• Bridget’s Sexiest Beaches (Trav, 8pm) Series Debut – I can only assume we see sexy beaches with former Girl Next Door Bridget, the girls are happening this week.
• Warriors (Hist, 10pm) Series Debut – Looks like we get to take a walk down memory lane and learn how to hold a sword among other things.

Friday

• Batman (Cart, 8pm) Season Premiere – This is the animated one, no Christian Bale…

Saturday

• Will Ferrell: You’re Welcome America (HBO, 9pm) – A Final Night with George W. Bush Live From Broadway… need I say more?
• The Graham Norton Show (BBCA, 10pm) Season Premiere – Sarah Ferguson greets Graham for the season opener.

Sunday

• Kings (NBC, 8pm) Series Premiere – It’s the fake country of Gilboa (in an alternate fake world) and it’s got a king, and I’m going to say some drama.
• Tough Love Boot Camp (VH1, 10pm) Series Premiere – A matchmaker gives eight single gals a wakeup call on what they’re doing wrong when trying to find love.

* Always check your local listings (times noted are PST).